Time's Lessons
by ChristianGateFan
Summary: Lilith is determined not to go out easily, and a soul is caught in the middle. Dean isn't sure if he can win this fight, and find a life worth living in the end. Not without Sam. But is Sam really gone? AU 4x22 and beyond; sequal to Time's Redemption.
1. Chapter 1

All right, here's the teaser for the sequal to Time's Redemption! I hope you enjoy this short beginning, and please do let me know what ya'll think. :) Thanks so much for reading!

IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm having to balance keeping this story straight with both what I wrote in the first story, and with everything we discovered in the last couple of episodes in the fourth season. I was writing the first story from a slightly different perspective, since I wrote it just before then. After all, the finale changed what we knew/thought we knew about several characters. Anyway, I'm trying to stay true to those new revelations, as well as to everything that happened in Time's Redemption. It's an interesting balancing act, but then again this is an AU anyway; we'll see how it turns out...I hope you like it. :) And yes, I realize that I'm writing Ruby as blond here. There's a reason for that. No final rush to save Dean from going to hell, no confronting Lilith then, no Lilith kicking Ruby out of the Katie Cassidy body. Therefore, right here we've still got Katie Cassidy body Ruby. *shrug* It made sense at the time.

"Time's Lessons"

Summer was only just beginning, but in Bobby's kitchen the mid-day May air was hot and humid anyway. Lunch was finished and on the stove, but the petite blond by the counter was the only one in the room even picking at the food.

"Are you sure this time?" Dean demanded.

"Of course I'm sure," Ruby answered hotly, popping a potato wedge into her mouth. "Why would I be here if I wasn't sure? I know where Lilith is. She's holed up in some old convent for a little while. We can take her out."

He didn't need any more encouragement than that, but Bobby had other ideas. The other hunter grabbed his arm before he could start for the door.

"Wait, wait, wait! We need a plan, Dean. We need to know the layout of this place, cover all the bases. We're not even sure if this'll work."

"Oh, we'll make it work," Dean growled. "We're not letting her slip away again." Maybe a few months ago he would have been more cautious, more prone to think long and hard, but not anymore. He was tired of chasing the bitch. Maybe her involvement was indirect, but it all came down to the fact that she was the reason Sam was gone.

Lilith was going to pay for it.

"All right, but let's just think about this…"

Ruby launched away from the counter. "Think about this? We can kill her! Now! It'll take several hours to get there; we can plan on the way."

Dean wanted to agree with her, but he looked uneasily back at Bobby, knowing the man was right. They couldn't just rush in half-cocked. That had been Ruby's stance too, once, but recently she seemed just as impatient as he was to have the job done.

And right now, she was at the door waiting. "Come _on_, guys! Bip, bip, bip!"

The reference was lost on him. "What?"

"Some old show I caught once or twice; never mind. Let's move! We have no idea how long she and her minions will be there. We don't want to lose her."

"Okay, okay! Give us five minutes, would you?"

Ruby's eyes rolled. "I'll be in the car," she huffed, and let the screen door smack behind her.

"Back seat!" Dean shouted after her. "I really hate her," he muttered as soon as she was gone. Even now, he wasn't entirely sure they could trust her as far as they could throw her. He sighed and turned back to Bobby. "She's right, though; we can't let this chance get away. Lilith never stays put for long." Too many opportunities had already been lost—too many leads useless before they could be followed.

Lilith had to die, if the world was ever going to be safe again. She had to die if Sam's sacrifice was ever going to really mean anything in the long run.

Bobby sighed. "All right. I'll load up all the rock salt I've got here. No matter what the layout, we should be able to corral them enough to get the rock salt down and trap them. Depending on how close together they are, we can exorcise them in groups. You have the knife for Lilith?"

Dean's hand went to the sheath on his belt, tucked safely away under his shirt. "Always."

"I want to know how you plan to kill her without gettin' flung in a wall first."

"I'll have to take her by surprise. She'll be plenty distracted."

Bobby grimaced, and Dean knew he wanted to protest. Instead, he conceded. "Well…she did say it would take a few hours to get there. Plan to spend it all on the phone talking this through. I'm not going in unless we do."

Dean let out a pent-up breath. "Thanks, Bobby."

"Don't thank me until she's dead and we've both made it out of there alive."

"I hear you…" His eyes strayed toward the back of the house, toward the other door he couldn't see from here. "Get the rock salt and get to the cars. I'll be right back."

Bobby looked at him in confusion for a moment, but then understanding dawned and he nodded once. "All right," he answered quietly.

Dean weaved through the house without seeing anything; he'd spent enough time here in the two years since Sam's death that he could get through blindfolded. He swept through the matching screen door at the back of the house—

And stopped dead in a motel room he hadn't seen in two months.

He spun to glance behind him, and saw only the motel door and a darkened window, curtains tightly drawn.

"What the—"

"We needed a safe place to talk."

Dean twisted back to see Castiel standing in the middle of the floor, not looking the happiest he'd ever seen him. And was the angel _fidgety_?

"Isn't this the—"

"Yes. Though nothing happened when you were here in _this_ timeline, this room was pivotal in the original sequence of events."

"This is where Sam came back from…"

The angel nodded. "It is."

Dean frowned in confusion. "Still…why use this place? Why bring me here? What's going on?"

"You are not really here. This room is not real, by your understanding of the word. It is outside time and space. As I said, I merely needed somewhere safe for us to meet."

"Then why make it look like _this_ room?" he asked again. It wasn't important, really…but just being here was making him sick to his stomach, even if he wasn't clear on the details of what had happened here the first time around—the time around when Sam had been alive to be here.

His breath caught.

Damnit. Would it ever get any easier?

Castiel seemed suddenly apologetic, and explained quickly. "I am sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but I had no choice. My speaking to you now is dangerous. There are those that would not want me here, and I could not risk being discovered. This room has already been created this way once—outside of time—and so was easier to create again, and less detectable. It would be difficult to explain beyond that. Your human mind—"

"Wouldn't get it. Yeah, okay, whatever. What the hell is going on?" he repeated.

"Because of Uriel, we knew that there are angels working for the demons' cause. They want Lucifer to rule. However…the situation is more grave even than that." The angel took a breath. "I have recently discovered that there is…another faction, working against our Father's plan."

"Another faction? How can there be _another _one?"

"This faction pretends to want the will of God. Instead, they want Lucifer to rise, so that he can be defeated again—_after _he destroys this world. I cannot fathom why…but it is true. I am ashamed to say that I have been fooled, in the past. Many of the orders I have struggled with have come from them—not from the Father."

Dean swore. "Well that would cover it, wouldn't it?" He squinted. "Wait…that's what you wanted to tell me a few weeks ago, wasn't it? Before you got booted back to heaven for a while."

Castiel nodded. "Again, it was them. That is why we needed this safe place."

"Damn…that makes a whole lot more who aren't on our side, doesn't it?"

"Indeed."

Dean swallowed. "Anything else?"

Cas looked at him intently. "Only that Lilith must die. She must die _now_, before the process of releasing Lucifer can begin. She is close to gaining what she needs to start. You must take this opportunity, and you must kill her."

"What does she need to start?" he questioned.

"Trust me, Dean; you do not want to know. Just get this job done, if you want the world to be saved."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Dean agreed. He glanced around. "How do we get out of here?"

"I will return you in a moment."

"Are you coming? It'd be a whole lot easier with you along."

Castiel shook his head slowly. "I cannot. The others would notice my movement, and all of those that want Lucifer for whatever reason to rise would stop us. You can go undetected longer without me."

"Okay…makes sense…but what about Lilith's powers? It'll be a little hard to stab her if I'm stuck to a wall."

"I do not know that I can help with that...."

"Come on, something. Anything. We need an edge here."

The angel fell silent, contemplating for a long moment. Then Castiel's hand snapped to Dean's forehead, and a sudden burst of white light sent him flailing backward. When he regained his balanced and pried his eyes open, Cas hadn't moved.

"What the hell was that!"

"I am sorry; it could not be premeditated, or the others would trace it more easily." The angel sighed. "You are now immune to her powers—to any demon's powers. It will not last forever…perhaps twenty-four hours."

"Are you serious?" Dean gaped incredulously.

Cas nodded.

"Well…what about Bobby?"

The angel shook his head. "It will be a wonder if _that _was not noticed. I cannot risk it again. You must use the advantage while you have it. Lilith must die tonight."

Dean took a deep breath. "Right."

Castiel gave him a long look, and then nodded once more. "Good luck."

Then Dean was standing in the grass behind Bobby's house, and the angel was gone. He blinked, and realized he was right where he'd been heading in the first place. Dean sighed and looked down at the wooden cross that marked Sam's grave—just on the other side of the trees behind the house.

"Well…you heard him, Sam. Lilith dies tonight, if I have anything to say about it," he promised.


	2. Chapter 2

Here ya go; enjoy, and don't forget to let me know what you think! :) Thanks so much!

Chapter 2

The abandoned St. Mary's convent was typically menacing, looming over the surrounding area with its dark stonework and statues. If there were any security on the premises, they had already been long-since dispatched by Lilith and her cronies. Dean, Bobby, and Ruby met no resistance getting into the building, but held no illusions that the rest would be so easy.

Wherever Lilith was, she would be well-guarded.

Ruby's information led them to a long corridor outside a small chapel at the back of the convent. From around the corner they caught glimpses of Lilith's troop of bodyguards in the corridor. From there Dean and Ruby went around and came up on the junction from the other direction. The corridor the demons were gathered in dead-ended on both ends—on one end was the T-junction they were covering from both sides, and at the other was the chapel.

"There's no other way out of that chapel, right?" Dean whispered.

"Only the windows," Ruby answered.

Staying far enough around the corners to not be seen, they drew devils traps that encompassed the width of the hallway. Dropping salt lines would have been herd in the echoing space, but they had to be certain that none of the demons left the corridor outside the chapel before they tracked back outside to drop salt under the stained-glass windows, careful not to be seen or heard.

While outside, they found one other door at the back of the chapel Ruby hadn't known about, and Ruby covered it herself rather than let them drop more salt. She couldn't be inside for what they were about to do, anyway. Then, for Dean and Bobby, it was back to their positions inside, on either side of the entrance to the corridor they had trapped the unknowing demons inside. Lilith had to be in the chapel, but they couldn't tell. The doors were closed.

Even if she wasn't, by the time they were done here she would lose most of her protection.

From the safe side of the devils traps, Dean looked across the empty space that was the corridor junction and nodded. Bobby, who nodded in return and raised his voice to let it echo down the corridors as he recited a standard exorcism.

The commotion began immediately. At first many of the demons rushed out into the junction, looking for the voice. When they saw the devils trap between them and Bobby, and the one between them and Dean, they ran again—back the other way.

For Dean it was fun, watching them all run for their lives like the scared sewer rats they were. At the other end of the corridor they pounded on the heavy, double wooden doors of the chapel, but they never opened.

Lilith was protecting herself. Typically.

In moments the exorcism was complete, and the hosts dropped in an unconscious pile as the black smoke that the demons were dissipated, banished to hell again.

As soon as it was done, Dean and Bobby stepped over the devils traps, and made their way through the maze of unconscious and dead bodies to the doors. They cleared the bodies and drew another trap in front of the doors before they thought at all about how to get them open.

Then the doors flew open on their own.

It wasn't clear which demon had opened them, but the only two inside were Lilith and Ruby, circling each other—Lilith, for the first time, in an adult body, a tall blond with a smirking face that seemed to perfectly portray the creature within.

"What took you so long?" Ruby said nonchalantly.

"Stay out here," Dean whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

Bobby nodded reluctantly, but without argument. "Be careful, boy." They had discussed this on the way here, after Dean had told them what Castiel had been able to do for him.

Dean pulled the knife from his belt and went in, and Bobby closed the door behind him. He knew the older hunter would be dropping an extra salt line outside them, just in case. Bobby wasn't happy about this arrangement, but it was the only way for safety's sake. Maybe Lilith couldn't throw Dean, but if she could get to Bobby she could use it against him.

Bobby would stay safely outside, across the devil's trap and the salt. He had done his part, helping to get the other demons out of the way.

This was Dean's fight now.

As the doors slammed shut at his back, Lilith sneered and brought up a hand, no doubt with the intention of using him to demand that Ruby back off.

Nothing happened.

_Sweet. It works,_ Dean thought, grinning. He felt no pull or push at all. The ground was as solid under his feet as it had been seconds before.

Lilith frowned and tried again.

"What's wrong? Out of juice?" Dean smirked, taking a few steps closer.

She tried yet again. "Impossible…"

He kept his pace steadily toward her. "That's what I thought."

Using the distraction, Ruby had circled around, and now she grabbed Lilith from behind. At the same moment Dean lurched forward, seized her arm and held the knife to Lilith's throat.

It was working. It was actually working. They were going to kill her, and this would all be over.

Lilith opened her mouth, but Dean held up a finger. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. We've got this place covered. Even if you dump the body, you're not going anywhere." He raised an eyebrow over his shoulder at Ruby. "You _did_ leave a ring of salt around the back door behind you, yes?"

Ruby's eyes rolled. "What am I, stupid? Yes, I dropped the salt. _Neither_ of us is going anywhere right now," she said, tightening her grip on Lilith.

Lilith, for once, looked scared.

But it wasn't time to savor the moment. They shouldn't be wasting time. They should be getting this over with.

Dean drew back with the knife, then plunged it forward—

Only to have Lilith shoved from his grasp and his wrist caught in mid-air before he could shove it into her chest.

"Ruby!" He glared at the demon he was now locked in a stalemate with. "What are you doing!"

"Dean, Dean, Dean,"she tsked, shaking her head. "That pesky angel just had to screw with out plans. You were supposed to get yourself killed here tonight, nice and quick—you and Bobby both."

Dean risked a glance at Lilith, who looked smug again, arms crossed casually.

The fury flared instantly.

"You were working for her the whole time!"

"Not for her; for our master," Ruby glared. "That means, of course, that Lilith here doesn't particularly like me very much, but she doesn't have a lot of choice today, since I'm saving her ass—for now."

"What?"

"Never mind. That's a story for another day—a day you won't live to see." Ruby sneer and pushed back harder, trying to turn the knife back on Dean.

Dean pushed back, blocking with all his strength. "Why?" he grated out.

Lilith was the one to answer. "If we can't have you in hell, we at least need you out of the way." He glanced over at her, and she smiled cheerfully. "Look at the bright side; at least you won't have to miss your family anymore. I'm sure Sam will be happy to see you."

That did it. The reminder of what Lilith had caused pushed his temper over the edge, giving him the adrenaline to overpower Ruby, push her arm out of the way and spin her around. In seconds he had pulled the knife across her throat and let her lifeless body drop to the ground at his feet.

Then he turned on Lilith.

"Say that again, bitch!" he shouted.

Lilith's eyes widened, but instead of answer she backed away and fled from her host. The blond dropped, but Dean was too focused on Lilith to notice if she were alive or dead.

"There's nowhere to go, Lilith!"

The demon hovered at the ceiling, for a moment, as if pondering that.

Then she rushed him.

The black smoke couldn't really hurt him on its own, and she couldn't posses him—not with the tattoo he had now to ward against it. Even Lilith couldn't get around that.

But with black smoke in his eyes it was damn hard to remember the exorcism he'd finally taken the time to memorize. He hadn't had a choice, after Sam died. Bobby couldn't be with him all the time, and he didn't always have a book handy, either.

Dean dropped to his knees, covering his ears from the roaring-wind-like noise and shutting his eyes against the dark bombardment.

_I'm sorry, Sammy. I wanted to be over tonight, _really_ over…_

But he had no choice.

Dean shouted the Latin words as loudly as he could. When he was finished, the gusts whipping at his closed stopped, and he opened his eyes. Lilith was gone.

For now.

"Crap," he swallowed.


	3. Chapter 3

Here ya go! I'm sorry about the short chapters, ya'll, but that's just the kind of story it is. I'm not skimping; I actually have the whole thing planned out. It's a just a matter of when I have time to type up the next part between writing chapters of "Don't Let Go." Anyway, I definately love summer. More time to write, time to watch Gilmore Girls and get my laughs as well as a jared fix, and last night I fell asleep watching my Supernatural DVDs. Life is good--except for the part where I have to read _Crime and Punishment_ and _Pride and Prejuduce_ before the summer is over. Ugh. Well, anyway, enjoy the chapter, and let me know what you think! Surprise at the end. ;)

Chapter 3

In separate cars, the drive back to Bobby's was long and silent. Even if they'd been riding together, Bobby didn't think either of them would have said much. The look on Dean's face when the doors had opened again had told him clearly that the boy didn't want to talk. He'd explained what happened in short, pointed sentences, and that had been that. Dean hadn't said a word since, beyond "Let's go."

"No, you didn't." It was the first thing Bobby said when they got back, as he was unlocking the door of his cluttered house to let them both in.

Dean blinked as if coming out a trance. "What?"

"You didn't screw up; you're not a failure."

"I…"

"Yes, you are. You're thinking it." Dean didn't answer; he just dropped into a chair at the kitchen table. Bobby flipped the light on, replacing the dwindling moonlight of the early morning with typical electric light. "Look, maybe this isn't over, but temporary or not, this _was _a victory—thanks to you."

Dean snorted. "She's right back in hell. Things are no different now than they were two years ago."

"She has to get back out before she can do anything else. If she's as deep as she was last time, she may not even crawl out in our lifetime."

"Oh yeah, and _that _would be just great."

"What would be wrong with it?"

Dean looked at him incredulously. "You're kidding, right? I don't know about you, but I couldn't trust the job to some unforeseen random future generation. I want _her _to be history before _I _am. Besides…I have do it."

"You have to kill Lilith yourself."

"You know I do."

Bobby crossed his arms. "Why?" he demanded. He knew why, but if Dean was going to go down that path, he didn't need to be in denial about it. Well...no, he didn't need to be on that path at all. It didn't lead to anything good.

"You know why," he said, expectedly.

"Why don't you refresh my memory?"

"I just do," Dean growled, looking away.

"For Sam. You have to kill her for Sam."

He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Yes! All right? Yes."

"So you _want_ her to crawl out sooner rather than later, so that _you_ can kill her."

"Yes," Dean answered miserably.

"And when she crawls out, and you kill her, what then?" There was no answer. "You haven't thought that far ahead, have you?"

"Why plan past it?" he answered, glaring at the table. "I've never been sure I'd survive it."

Bobby let out a breath. "And you think that's what he'd want? Do you think that's what your parents would want? For you to get yourself killed—get what's _left _of the Winchesters killed—just to avenge the rest of them?"

Dean only glanced up for a moment, and Bobby was sure he saw moisture in the hazel eyes. "At least I'd be with them," he muttered.

Bobby sighed and sat down, finally. "And what if, whenever this really is over, when Lilith is dead…you're still alive and kicking? What then?"

The boy shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I keep hunting stuff, I guess. I've got nothing else to do."

"Is that what you think? What about having a _life_? When this is over you'll have the chance to do that."

Dean didn't answer, and Bobby got the feeling he wasn't ready to talk about it. Instead the boy stood and headed toward the room he used when he was here. "I'm hittin' the books," he announced tiredly.

Bobby sat where he was for a moment, but then stood and followed his young charge. "No, you're not."

Dean stopped and turned, frowning in confusion. "What?"

"There's nothing we can do right now, Dean. Lilith is out of the way for now, and we know how to kill her when she comes back. We still have the knife. Reading a bunch of dusty old books you've already looked through a dozen times over isn't gonna magically produce a better way to do it."

"Then I'll hit the friggin' internet and find something to hunt."

"You don't need to be doing that, either."

"Excuse me? Then what the hell else am I supposed to do?"

"_I _am going to stay here and try to relax a little before we have to get back into this. _You_ should get out of here."

"You just said I _shouldn't _go out and hunt."

Bobby huffed. "Exactly. I said you shouldn't get out and _hunt_, but you _should_ get out. Go do something else. Get out of here and do something not at all related to demons, or ghosts, or books, or me, for god's sakes. Just go."

"Go _where_?" Dean insisted again.

"Do you not have an imagination? I don't _care_ where you go; just go!"

Dean stared at him incredulously. "You're kicking me out?"

Bobby thought about that only for a moment before deciding that it was a good idea—for Dean. It was what he needed. He needed to get away from this house, and those books, and…away from Sam's grave. Bobby had no illusions about what kept Dean here. Sure, he didn't mind Bobby's company and the regular roof over his head when he wasn't hunting, but the boy didn't want to leave his brother.

But sooner or later he was going to have to; he couldn't live here forever. Living out here wasn't a life, and Dean was too young to give up life.

"Yes. I'm kicking you out," Bobby nodded, crossing his arms again.

"What!"

"You can get some sleep, but tomorrow I want you and your crap out of my house."

"You're not serious."

"I'm dead serious." He had no intention of apologizing for the choice of words, either, and he was on a roll now. "I don't want to see you back here for at least a couple of weeks, either—three or four, if you want me to be nice at all when you get back."

"Weeks? Bobby, come on!"

He shrugged. "It's my house, kid."

Dean glared. "Fine." Then he disappeared around the corner, and Bobby heard the guest room door slam.

"You're welcome," he sighed.

By the time Bobby woke up that afternoon Dean was packed and ready to go. He seemed to have had time to cool off, and was considerably less hostile than before.

"You're not gonna tell me I'm being ridiculous?"

Dean shrugged as he finished washing the dishes he'd used for his breakfast, and put them back in the cabinets. "No." Maybe he wasn't hostile, but neither was he any more talkative than he had been at first last night.

"So you're heading out?"

"Yeah. I guess maybe you were right…about a lot of what, you know, what you said.""

Bobby nodded. "All right; then you take care of yourself."

Dean crossed back to the table, picked up his last duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder. "That'll be a little easier now, I guess."

"True, but there are still plenty of other demons out there. Watch your ass. Relax, but watch your ass."

"I'll see you later, Bobby," Dean smirked.

_I just hope you're in better shape next time you do._

* * *

_Come on, Cas, just this once. I know you can put it through somehow. _

**I do not know if that is wise…**

_Just look at him down there…_

**I should not even be speaking with you. I am on Earth duty.**

_Well it's not like you left; you're just taking time to…return an important call. Even humans are allowed to do that on the job sometimes—especially if the shift is hundreds of years long, as angels shifts apparently tend to be…_

**Angels are never **_**off**_** duty. **

_I get it, I get it. Please, Castiel, work with me here. _

**What would you have me do? He will not listen to me on such matters. I am not human, and he knows I do not understand human feelings and emotions.**

_I'm not asking _you_ to talk to him. You know what I'm asking. _

**Sam…**

_Don't make me hold the whole saving-the-world thing over your head. I don't want to do that; it's not like me._

**I do not even know if it would be possible.**

_You'll find a way. Please, Cas? I know you care. I know you don't want to see him like this, either—not after everything we went through to keep him alive. Not after everything we risked changing everything. Not ever._

**No…I don't.**

_Then do something about it. Help me do something about it._

**You know that those in your position should only be observing, do you not?**

_Dean and I have never been the type to conform…_

***sigh* I will see what I can do.**

_THANK you. _


	4. Chapter 4

Here's a longer chapter than suaul for this one, since I'm going to camp for a week. I hope ya'll like it! I can't wait to hear what you think. :) Enjoy! Thanks so much!

Chapter 4

It was cooler here than at Bobby's, though not by much. The sun still beat down on anyone and everyone without prejudice, and in the park situated in the center of the nice newer neighborhood there were mothers calling children to their sides for yet another layer of sunscreen. The smaller kids played on the playground and a pickup soccer game zigzagged across the immaculately kept bright green grass.

Dean sat on the hood of the Impala in a small parking lot across the road, out of the way, nursing a beer and watching the game with more interest than he would normally give to such things. Despite the fact that his jacket and outer shirt had long since been abandoned and dumped in the backseat, any breeze was welcome. He didn't know why he couldn't just find a decent bar—with air-conditioning.

He still wasn't quite sure what the hell he was doing here.

"Nice out here, isn't it?"

Dean answered before he realized he didn't know who he was talking to. "Well, it could be a little cooler, but—WHOA!" He'd turned a little, anticipating some stranger making small talk as they made their way back to one of the few cars sitting in the lot, but then again the voice was much too close for that. Instead, what he saw sent him skittering back, or trying to, and he slipped off the hood and stumbled to his feet.

"W-what? SAM?"

His brother grinned and leaned against the hood in his place. "Wish I could say 'in the flesh,' but this is more of a phone call."

Dean took a deep swig of his beer to give himself a moment to let the shock wear off, then set it on the hood, braced his hands on the car, and stared. "Okay…_what_?"

"Cas pulled a few strings, and…" He let a hand drop through the Impala's hood for a moment, to illustrate the fact that he was, in fact, not corporeal. "Well, it's better than nothing."

"So…it's you," he answered, for some reason unable to get his head around it. True, he had seen Sam as a ghost before. This was the Sam he'd seen then; the one that had told him he had to let go. It just wasn't something he'd ever expected to experience again.

"Yeah, Dean, it's me," Sam smiled.

"But what are you doing here?"

"What if I just wanted to see you?"

"Oh yeah. You pulled what must have been a _million_ strings just to chat. Come on, Sam, I know you. There's a motive here."

His brother sighed. "Yeah. There's a motive. Do we have to get into it right off the bat?"

Dean stared for a moment more, then shrugged and slowly relaxed, easing back onto the hood and sitting there beside Sam. It took another moment, but then the smile came. "Yeah. Sorry." He shook his head incredulously and grinned. "Damn, is it good to see you, Sammy."

Sam nodded. "It's good to see you, too. Not that we can't see what's going on from up there, but it's good to actually _be _here, for a change."

"Right, I guess. So…" He trailed off, not sure what to say. What do you say to someone who's been dead for two years? He didn't even know what Sam was up to showing up like this. As amazingly wonderful as it was, he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. "So how've you, you know, been? Up there, or whatever."

"Good. Fine. Great, actually," he answered, clearly just as uncomfortable. "You know, it's fine." He grinned then. "I'm not giving anything away, if that's what you're after."

"Aww, come on, you're no reaper or stuck-up angel. Can't you give me more of a straight answer?" Dean teased.

"Telling you it's good _is _more of a straight answer than they would give you."

He snapped his fingers in annoyance. "Crap. Good point."

Sam chuckled, and it was the best thing he'd heard in a long, long time; so familiar it was as if they'd never been apart. He found himself joining in, but when the laughter faded he remembered the reality of now.

"So if you can see things from up there, you know what happened," he said quietly.

"Yeah."

"Don't guess you have any clue when Lilith's gonna rear her butt-ugly head again, huh?"

"Sorry; can't help you there."

"Didn't think so."

Both of them lapsed into silence.

"I'm sorry," Dean said finally.

"I know you are, Dean, but it's not your fault. You did everything you could. If it hadn't been for Ruby—" He stopped and shook his head, disgusted. "I should have known. I never should have trusted her."

Dean's eyebrows went up. "You trusted her the first time around?"

"Not completely. Never. But close enough that it screwed up so much…god, it screwed up _us_. By the end we didn't trust _each other_ anymore."

He grimaced. "God."

Sam looked at him with eyes that had seen days he was suddenly more than glad he'd missed. "In some ways I guess what happened was for the best—things ending up like this, I mean. At least this time we never had the chance to end up that way."

"Sammy…" He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to that. The idea itself hurt. But Sam recovered, and his expression cleared, and he moved on.

"Anyway, that's not what this is about. I want you to know you're not a failure just as much as Bobby does, but that's not why I'm here."

"Then what is it?"

"It's _you_, Dean."

Dean looked at him strangely. "What are you talking about?"

Sam shrugged and looked out at the park. "For starters, what are you doing here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just answer the question."

But the truth was that he couldn't. "I…well, you know; Bobby told me to do something not at all related to demons, or ghosts, or books, or him. So here I am."

"Yeah, but the Dean I know would have made a beeline for the nearest bar and picked up a girl or two." Sam nodded to the kids in the field across the road. "This is a far cry from a strip joint."

"And your point is?"

Sam sighed. "The point, Dean, is that I think you want more than this—more than a life on the road, more than hunting. I also think you're too stubborn to admit that to yourself."

Dean huffed. "So what, going to heaven makes you Doctor Phil?"

"No, but being your brother means I know you, and I want you to be happy."

And after everything that had happened, even though he was _dead_ Sam still cared. Dean wondered why he couldn't accept that.

"I don't _deserve_ more than this, Sam. I couldn't even take care of _you_; how the hell am I ever supposed to think I could take care of a family? You're just one more example of why hunters shouldn't _have _families! And don't tell me that's not what you're talking about."

"Dean…"

"No, Sammy. You know the statistics. Jo's family, our family…it never ends well. Why do you care, anyway? You're up there with Mom and Dad and Jess, and I'll be there eventually, I guess, so what does it matter what I do while I'm still here?"

Sam pushed off the car and stood. "Just because we're all going to be together again, and just because you know things are going to be better then doesn't mean you stood stop trying to make things better for yourself _here_. You've still got a whole lifetime ahead of you."

"If something doesn't kill me first," Dean grunted.

"Don't talk like that."

But suddenly the idea of spending fifty or sixty more years in the world was too oppressing to take. Because…Bobby had been right. Once Lilith was dead, he didn't know what he was here for anymore. "Why not?" he muttered. "The idea's kind of inviting."

A jolt pulled him off the hood of the car, and then Sam's hands were clenched his t-shirt and shoving him back into the side of the Impala. "Have you lost your mind!"

Dean coughed and squinted. "Well, bein' up there sure didn't make your ghost skills rusty."

"I never want to hear that again, Dean."

"Hear what?"

"You know what I'm talking about!"

"Sam, come on—"

"No, you come on. You're my brother, Dean, but as much as I care about you and as much as I miss you I do _not_ want to see you up there any time soon. Is there any way I can make that more clear to you?"

"You could let go of me."

Sam released him and stepped back, and Dean straightened and looked at him for a long moment. "Right, so…ghost skills still up to par."

"Apparently."

"Good." He hugged him before he could really think it through, but once he had his brother in his arms he didn't want to let go. "Hey, other people can see you right now, right? I don't wanna look like I'm hugging air over here."

"I think you're safe," Sam chuckled, returning the embrace tightly.

When Dean finally made himself let go he went back around the front of the Impala and sat again, silently. Sam sat beside him, and was just as quiet—for a while.

"Dean…heaven _is _wonderful. It really is. There's no way to _not_ like it, no way to not like being there. That's why it's heaven. I have Jessica there, and maybe it's not…you know…like a human relationship, if you know what I mean, but that doesn't matter there. It's perfect the way it is."

He paused for a moment and took a breath. "Maybe it sounds stupid just saying it like this, but I want you to have that someday. I want you to have the chance to find someone to spend eternity with—someone besides Mom and Dad and me."

Dean groaned. "Come on, really? You think I need a woman to 'complete me' or something?"

"No, not necessarily. That's up to you. I just said I wanted you to have the _chance_ to find someone. You won't have the chance if you're dead."

"Can't meet new people in heaven?" he snorted.

"Sure you can; but not in the interest of starting anything beyond new friendships. There would be no point. There's no getting married up there, no having children. We don't have our human bodies anymore. We don't need those things. Like I said, Dean, it's different there. That's why I want you to stay here. I want you to have the _option _of having a family, if you want to someday, but I'm not saying you should or you have to."

Sam looked at him searchingly. "I just don't want you to give up everything now and realize later that you missed some things you wanted."

Dean sighed heavily. He wanted to be himself—wanted to protest again because that was just what he did—but he couldn't argue the point. It was a good point, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

Still, it took him a while to come up with something to say after that.

"Okay…say I paid attention at all to what you're saying…what does that mean? What the hell am I supposed to do about it? Lilith's still alive; I can't just—"

"Who says you can't? We don't know how long it'll take her to climb back out. So do something for yourself. Start here, if you don't know where else to start."

"But this is just—"

"The development where Lisa and Ben live."

Dean winced. "Oh you caught that, huh?"

"I was here the first time. I met them."

"I guess you did…" He fell silent, and he could feel Sam's eyes boring into him.

"I like her, and Ben's a great kid. Even if nothing comes of it you could at least drop by why you're here, instead of skulking at the edge of the park," Sam smirked.

"I am not skulking. I'm relaxing."

"At least promise you'll let them know you're here before you run off again."

Dean shifted uncomfortably. "Who said I was just gonna run off again? Maybe I was already thinking about, you know, going over there."

Sam's eyebrows went up suspiciously. "Uh huh."

"Well, I was entertaining the notion…"

"Well that's good if it's true. You should."

"All right, all right…"

"Good," he smiled. Then he stood again.

Dean blinked, "What are you doing?"

Sam's expression was suddenly pained again. "I have to go, Dean."

The pang in his chest nearly knocked him off the hood. As it was, he barely made it back to his own feet. "You…but can't you, like, stick around for a little while or something?"

"It doesn't work like that."

"Then what was the point of this!"

He sighed. "I've said what I needed to say. I wish I could stay for a while, but I can't. I'm gone, and this doesn't change that. This…is probably a one-time thing. Cas and I had to do a lot of sneaking around to get me here for _this_ long. You said yourself that Lilith is still alive. Maybe it's on hold for now, but the war isn't over. This is dangerous."

Dean's mouth fell open and stayed that way for much longer than he would have liked. "Why the hell didn't you say so?"

"It would have kinda ruined the mood," Sam answered sheepishly.

He growled in frustration, but realized there was no point in getting angry. Of course Sam couldn't stay. He was right. That didn't mean Dean liked it, but he was right.

"Sorry…"

Sam smiled apologetically. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too."

Dean grimaced. "So what…back to 'see ya on the other side' then?"

"Afraid so."

"You're killin' me with these stupid goodbyes, you know that?" he said thickly.

"Should I not have come?"

"No," he answered immediately. "No…I'm still glad you could."

"Me too."

This time Sam initiated the embrace, but Dean clung just as tightly for the moment they had, before his brother let go again.

He didn't want to say goodbye again.

"You don't have to say it." There Sam went, reading his thoughts just like the old days—not that he'd ever admitted then that his little brother was right most of the time.

This time Dean smiled painfully and nodded. He felt Sam's hand on his shoulder, and then nothing. When he blinked, Sam was gone.

* * *

The trip back should have been as instantaneous as the trip to Earth. When Dean and the parking lot and the Impala disappeared, Sam expected the familiar white light and Jessica's arms around his neck.

Instead, he suddenly realized that his eyes were closed. When he opened them, there was nothing there. Only darkness.

_What…this isn't…_

"Cas!"

"He can't hear you here," said an indistinct voice from the darkness.

"Where the hell is _here_?" he demanded. Sam tried to move, but nothing happened. He couldn't really feel anything.

Then the voice was close, in his ear, and it was laughing.

"It's certainly not heaven. It's not hell, either. I suppose you could say it's in-between…but it will do."

Then Sam could feel again.

He felt pain.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm back from camp! I'm sorry it took a week after camp to get this up, but dad kept hogging the computer and I had to get my thoughts together anyway. God was everywhere at that camp, and I'm so very glad I went.

Anyway, will get back into a quicker uploading schedule now I should think, so yay! I hope ya'll like this chapter, and please do let me know if you're still here and if ya like it. Thanks so much! I hope ya'll are having a great summer. I know I am.

Chapter 5

Dean didn't keep his promise that day. He went back to the motel and thought hard about some things, while trying not to think of others. It was tricky business, but he'd been perfecting the art for more than two years. It wasn't until late the next morning that he found himself back in the park in the Morning Hill development, leaning with his forearms over the back of a bench at the edge of the field.

Today the kids out on the bright grass were engaged in a game of basic kickball rather than soccer, and he found himself watching Ben again. The boy had gained a few inches and grown a little thinner, not quite ten now. He seemed to be getting along a little better with the general crowd these days—or Dean hadn't so far seen any specific bullies on his case, anyway.

He stayed where he was for a while, not sure whether he was ready to let the boy and his mother know he was around. At that thought his eyes roamed again, trying to pick out Lisa in the gaggle of parents on the imaginary sidelines. He was sure he'd noticed her earlier, but now he couldn't see her.

"I thought I saw that car of yours out here yesterday. Then I figured was seeing things."

Dean started and twisted, to see Lisa Braeden coming up the sidewalk off his left. "Lisa. Hey…"

She stopped a few feet short of him and smiled uncertainly, hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "Dean. I guess I wasn't seeing thing, then."

"Ah, no. Yeah, I was—I was here yesterday," he confirmed sheepishly, straightening and shoving his own hands in the front pockets of his own pants. His jeans had the only pockets available to him; today he still had his plaid button-up on over his t-shirt, but his jacket was back in the car.

"I see," Lisa nodded. "Any particular reason for that?"

"Not really," Dean shrugged, answering honestly. "So…how have you been? Ben looks good out there."

A mother's smile split her face. "Yeah, he does. He's doing great—keeping his grades up, if not perfect, and he has enough friends. I don't have to worry about him too much."

"That's great."

Lisa nodded once more and cocked her head at him curiously. "What about you? When you left you said you had a lot of work to do, and…" She trailed off, but he knew what she meant. When they'd talked before he left two years ago—once the case was solved and the development's children were safe—she'd asked him about the father and brother he'd mentioned briefly during that one weekend so many more years before.

He wasn't going to lie. He'd had no choice but to tell her they were both gone…and Sam recently. At that point it had barely been a month since his brother's death.

"I'm okay—you know, dealing. It's been two years, so…" He sighed, "Having plenty to do has helped, but…right now I kind of don't."

"Don't have plenty to do?"

"Yeah."

She hadn't asked then, but now she did. "I guess all of that work you had to do was something like what you came here to do last time, wasn't it?"

Dean winced. Again, he wasn't going to lie to her, since she'd already seen the changelings. She knew things were out there. She just didn't know a lot of details, and he hoped to keep it that way. "Yeah, but you don't wanna know any more than that."

"No, probably not." Lisa sighed and closed the distance to the bench, perching on the end of it and turned around to look up at him. Dean leaned comfortably on the back of it again. "So…there's not a lot out there right now?"

He snorted. "Oh, there's plenty out there, but the main threat is AWOL right now. A friend of mine all but ordered me to take a break, that's all."

"So that's why you're here."

Dean shrugged again, uncomfortably. "I'm not sure. I just kind of ended up here," he answered, wondering how it was easy enough to be so honest. Maybe, again, it was because she wasn't completely ignorant anymore.

That, and he couldn't forget that she'd been more than willing to let him stick around for a while, last time. Part of him had really wanted to. He just hadn't been able to then, with so many demons fresh on the loose and Sam's death to deal with.

Besides…this wasn't his life, and he'd gently but definitively told her so.

"Then I don't suppose you know how long you'll stay, either, do you?"

He shook his head.

"You won't leave before Ben sees you, right? I know he'd love to."

Dean grinned suddenly at the thought. "Yeah, I'll make sure I talk to him."

Lisa smiled, and as if on cue that was when the game broke. Ben stood in the middle of the field for a moment, searching for his mother, and then came jogging in their direction. He stopped halfway to them, and stared for a moment as he registered who she was with.

Then he broke into a run. "Dean!" he called, braking in front of them. "Hey!"

Dean held a hand out over the back of the bench and bumped fists with the boy before high-fiving him. "Hey, kiddo! What's hangin'?

"Not much," Ben answered, only a little out of breath. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in _forever_!"

"Just busy, but hey, I missed you."

"Really?" the kid grinned.

"Sure," Dean smiled. He wasn't sure why, but despite his general lack of appreciation for children, he'd always liked this kid. Though maybe it had started in something to do with the fact that Ben was all but a miniature version of himself.

Ben turned quickly to his mother. "Hey Mom, can Dean have lunch with us? Please? Can he come hang out of a while?"

"Whoa, dude, don't overload the mom. I just got here, and she might have plans today…or something," he said.

Lisa raised an eyebrow at him. _How subtle._ "No, I don't have any plans."

Both of Dean's eyebrows went up, unable to immediately believe that meant that she _still_ wasn't dating anyone—not when she looked as good as she still did. _Seriously?_

She smiled. "I think it would be a great idea if Dean came and had lunch at the house," she continued, in answer to her son, and then looked to Dean again. "What do you say, Dean?"

His mouth only hung open for a couple of seconds, thankfully. "I…uh…well…" The last thing he'd expected was a meal invitation right off the bat. Maybe they had parted on good terms two years ago—what with his saving Ben's life along with the other kids and all—but…

Well, then again maybe it _wasn't_ so far-fetched.

"Sure…"

Even though their house was just down the block on the other side of the park, he thought about offering them a ride. Then he realized he couldn't do that. He would have to ask Lisa to sit in the back with Ben, and they wouldn't get it, and he didn't need that now.

He didn't want to have to seem rude or strange, but he couldn't let anyone sit in front. Not yet. Maybe it had been two years—more than two years—but Dean wasn't ready for that.

So when Lisa and Ben started walking and beckoned him to follow, he did. The Impala was locked and the windows were rolled up, and his keys were in his pocket. The car would be fine where it was.

It took maybe ten minutes or so to get to the house, but it was ten minutes in which Ben babbled incessantly. He was much more talkative than Dean remembered. Or maybe he remembered correctly, and the kid had changed. It had been two years after all, and Ben seemed to want Dean to know everything he had done in that time.

He'd joined a basketball team, and he wasn't the best player but he was having fun. Apparently Lisa liked it because he was interacting more with other kids, but Ben wanted to do it for the girls.

_That_ was definitely something Dean remembered.

After cutting between two houses and emerging on the street where the Braeden's lived, Ben motioned Dean to lean down closer to him so he could ask a question while his mother was ahead of them and he thought she wasn't paying attention. "Dude, you killed any more bad stuff?"

He saw Lisa glance over her shoulder, tensing a little. "Well…yeah."

Ben's face lit up. "Cool."

"Not really," Dean shrugged. 'It's not that great." The last thing either adult here needed was for Ben to develop a sudden interest in hunting. Besides…maybe Dean needed to hunt to keep himself sane, and maybe he enjoyed a lot of it, but his answer wasn't a lie.

Hunting wasn't that great, either. It had to be done, but people got hurt and lost innocence and it destroyed families. It would always be part of who he was, but it had taken his family away from him, and half of his existence was trying to save other families from the same fate.

Ben frowned a little. "Oh…well, I'm still glad _you_ do that stuff."

Dean smiled weakly. "Yeah."

Back at the house he hadn't seen in two years, Lisa went immediately for the freezer and pulled out an assortment of frozen foods. "Well, boys, we've got pot pies, chicken nuggets, and pizza—"

"Pizza!"

Dean and Ben said it together, and then grinned at one another. That was another reason why he liked this kid—this two person family as a whole, Lisa and Ben. Somehow they were easier to be around than most 'normals,' thought they weren't quite normal anymore.

That was when Dean suddenly remembered the other reason why he felt kind of attached to this kid. He was fun, and he was just like Dean in a lot of ways, but that wasn't the only reason. When he'd put it together, back when he'd been working the case here, and realized that the changelings had taken Ben, suddenly the boy wasn't just Lisa's cool kid of a son anymore. He wasn't just any boy. He was a boy in trouble. He was someone Dean had to save. Suddenly Ben was Sam, and he'd be damned if he let anything happen to the kid.

That was why he'd nearly had the crap beat out of him by the mother changeling—the one who'd taken the form of the local real-estate agent—and why he'd risked everything to get Ben and all of those kids out of that abandoned, half-built house.

More than anything, he hadn't wanted to fail again.

"Pizza it is," Lisa smiled. "It'll take about twenty minutes in the oven though," she said as she started to open the box.

Suddenly Dean felt stupid just standing there, so he took the box and opened it himself. "I got this. You get the pan; you're the one who knows where they are."

Lisa looked at him curiously for a second or two, but then shrugged and moved off to get the pan. A moment later she set it on the counter next to him, and Dean was still fighting with the plastic around the frozen meat-lovers pie.

A pair of scissors appeared under his nose next. "These might help," she said in amusement.

But Dean refused to be bested by plastic. "I got it," he groused. He had to use his teeth, but he got the darn thing open. Ben was laughing at him though, so he wondered if all that had been worth it. He shrugged inwardly and threw the packaging away—once Lisa pointed out the trash can under the sink he'd spent several seconds searching the floor for.

"Ah. So you're a neat freak."

"Why would you say that?"

"Your trash can is in a cabinet under the sink. Only neat-freaks keep the trash can in a cabinet."

Lisa's hands went to her hips. "The house came with the roller under the sink for the trash can. Why not take advantage of it?"

"Be a rebel. Keep the trash can by the counter like good old-fashioned people."

She smirked and slid the pizza on its tray into the pre-heated oven. "I almost forgot how snarky you were."

"Hey, it's my job."

Lunch was…easy. Surprisingly easy. It was still easy to be around these two—maybe easier than last time. Dean couldn't decide what that meant. Was it because he knew Sam wanted him here, or because _he_ wanted it?

Well…he knew he wanted it. He never admitted it to himself, but he knew that just as much as he had always wanted Sam to have the chance at a normal life, he had always wondered what it would be like to have one himself. After all, he was the one who remembered having it for the first four years of his life. The memories were faded now, but they were there. Part of him would always want it back.

But he was a hunter. Dean knew that would never change, either. And hunters didn't have families—not families that turned out okay in the end. Something always happened. Things happened to normal families too, and that was why he hunted in the first place. To stop it.

Besides that, Lilith was still out there. Maybe she was in hell right now, but she wouldn't be there forever. When she came back, he had to be ready. But…maybe Sam and Bobby were right. Maybe it wasn't so bad to be here, for now. Maybe he did need this, right now. Part of him understood that he needed to remember that there was more out there than demons and ghost and the hunt—remember the people; the reason they all hunted.

Though he still wasn't sure if people like this had any place in _his_ future. Right now he couldn't see it, no matter how much Sam and Bobby wanted it for him. Not with Lilith alive.

Lunch was easy. He enjoyed himself, and somehow he didn't feel guilty about that anymore. It didn't take long to realize that he really was glad he'd come. It surprised him, but he liked it.

Ben asked about the Impala, and Dean was more than happy to tell him about it, and promised to show it to him gain later. Then the conversation turned to classic rock, and the virtues of AC/DC and Metallica. Lisa didn't have much to input on these subject, but she seemed happy to listen.

After Ben had had two or three pieces of pizza the doorbell rang, and Lisa let him jump up to get it. He ran back in a moment later. "It's Kyle. He and guys want to play basketball, but…" He looked questioningly at Dean.

"If it's okay with your mom, you should go if you want. If I'm not here when you get back I'll come around tomorrow, okay?"

Ben grinned again. "Really? You'll still be in town?"

"Yeah, now get going."

"Okay! It was sweet to see you, Dean," the kid answered enthusiastically. Then he was gone again almost before Dean could blink.

He shook is head in amusement. "Wow."

"Just a little ball of energy, isn't he?" Lisa smirked. "And one of the few things I do have to worry about is keep him from hitting on too many girls at once—_so_ not what I want him to be doing at his age. Sometimes I wonder if the blood test was wrong."

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry; the technology is pretty solid. You're safe."

He shrugged noncommittally, and Lisa cocked her head at him again.

"I was right," she said in amazement, after a moment of silence. "I was right, wasn't I? You _were_ a little disappointed he isn't yours."

"Well…"

"Come on, don't lie."

"Yeah, a little," he admitted. He didn't quite look at her when he continued. "I wasn't lying when I said I'd have been proud to be his dad."

She looked at him for another long moment. "You really have changed. I know I saw it last time, but…" She shrugged. "I guess we've both had a lot of growing up to do in the past ten years or so."

"Shit can do that." There went the eyebrow. "Well, I mean, you know, stuff. Having Ben obviously isn't a bad thing for you now," he corrected clumsily.

Lisa shook her head. "No, it's not." She looked at him intently again. "I'm sorry for what you've had to go through, though." She rested a hand on his forearm on the table, and squeezed briefly, but looked at the table.

"Since we saw you two years ago, sometimes I think I've _wished_ the blood test was wrong."

That should have scared the crap out of him. A women showing any kind of real interest in him beyond sex—even showing the wish of interest, whether it was really interest with any intention or not. He should have run away screaming.

Instead, Dean only smiled sheepishly. "You don't mean that."

Lisa pulled her hand back and shrugged, and changed the subject. "So you weren't lying, were you? Do you think you'll come back tomorrow?"

The answer came easier than any answer to anything in his life recently. "Yeah, I think I will."

* * *

The hand-off should have gone quickly, even if it wasn't easy and it was most definately dangerous. While still inhabiting Jimmy, Castiel could not go all the way to heaven, but that was what the middle ground was for. He could bring the body to the middle ground, just as he had been able to bring Dean there to talk to him. That was how he had been able to get Sam briefly to Earth to speak with his brother.

Maybe he didn't really know who to trust any more, with so many working against the Father in secret, but there were a few among his regiment in heaven that he knew he could trust. These were the ones he had worked with to get Sam to Dean, and getting him back where he belonged should have gone just as quickly. But before he reached the others with the younger Winchester's soul, something…knocked him aside.

Castiel had lost his grip on Sam, and lost his grip on what, for an angel, was consciousness. When he awoke he was still adrift in the middle ground, and the only thing he could sense was a faint call from heaven, from those who had planned to help him return Sam Winchester there. They wanted to know if he was all right, and he let them know that he was. He asked if Sam had made it there, and they said he had not.

They did not know where Sam Winchester was, and neither did Castiel.

Quickly he returned to Earth, and realized that a full day had passed there. He looked for Dean and found, but…did not appear. Dean was with people, and he seemed happy for the moment. He did not need to know about this. Not now. Castiel planned to find Sam and return him to heaven immediately. Dean _never _had to know. If Sam could be found and made safe, there was no reason to interrupt the progress Dean Winchester was making.

But where was Sam?

The attack had happened before he could get a sense of the attacker, but it could only be one of those from a faction that had something against the Winchesters, or Sam in particular. It could have been the demons, the angels working with them, or those that didn't quite work with them but were bad enough a lot on their own.

Perhaps Lilith was out of the way for now, but the war was still on, after all.

Castiel took one last look at Dean Winchester through the window of the upscale suburban home, where he sat conversing with a human brunette woman, and sighed.

Then he was gone, to seek help from the few fellow angels he could trust in the search for Sam Winchester.


	6. Chapter 6

here ya go ya'll. :) Enjoy, and please do let me know what ya think. Thanks so much! :)

Chapter 6

Lisa had kissed him before he left for the day—briefly, like before he'd left last time. It hadn't been much. It had been short and sweet. He shouldn't have still been thinking about it, but it was on Dean's mind as he went back the next day.

Still not sure about parking at the Braeden's place, or what that would say, he parked where he'd been the past two days and crossed the street to the park. He didn't see Lisa yet but he found Ben on a bench on the other side, playing a handheld video game. He wasn't sure what the name of the mini system was, seeing as he had no reason to keep up with such things.

"Hey." He paused at the end of the bench, hand on its back, and smiled when the kid looked up at him.

"You're back," Ben grinned.

"Of course I'm back; I said I would be, didn't I?"

The boy shrugged as he turned partial attention back to the video game. "My dad found out about me last year, and he said he'd come around sometimes. He never has."

Dean frowned. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay…I only met him the once anyway. I don't really care; he can be a bitch if he wants to. At least _you_ keep your promises."

_As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you. _His own words to his brother echoed in his memory, and Dean covered his grimace by pulling it into a smirk. "Uh, sure," he said quietly. He paused a moment, and then motioned to the open half of the bench. "Mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead; I was waiting for you anyway."

Dean settled on the other end of the park bench from the kid. "You didn't have to do that."

"I've got nothing else to do. Kyle has a dentist appointment today."

"Aren't there other kids to play with?"

Ben snorted. "Don't say _play with_. That sounds so _juvenile_. We have semi-organized sports and video games. "

Dean smothered a grin. "Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. You never answered the question, by the way."

"There are other guys, but I didn't feel like it today. I think they're all at Ryan's house shooting some hoops."

"Ah. I see." He paused in thought. "What about chicks?"

Ben shook his head. "It's the middle of the day. It's too hot. Most of the chicks usually don't show up until at _least_ three."

"Uh huh."

It was slightly more difficult talking to the kid alone, but he figured it wasn't going too bad so far. It was kinda nice, actually.

Until Ben dropped the bomb.

"I saw the kiss."

Dean blinked over at him. "What?"

"I saw you and Mom kiss—well, both times actually…before you left last time, and when you were heading out after lunch yesterday. Yeah, I know you probably figured I didn't notice two years ago, since I was busy and all, but I noticed. Yesterday I saw because we didn't play basketball as long I thought we would, and I was on my way home. I saw it through the side window."

And Dean had no idea how to respond to that. "Oh," he deadpanned.

Ben looked up and raised eyebrow. "Chill, dude. It's cool with me."

He took an uncomfortable breath. "Uhm, okay. Good?"

"Yeah, it's good," the kid answered, misreading the uncertain statement for a question. "I mean, I guess so. I don't _think_ I'd mind if you dated her. I wouldn't really know. She's hardly ever gone on more than one date with _anybody_, and usually when she does the guy turns out to be a total ass. You're not an ass, so…"

Dean chuckled a little, the discomfort easing away. "Well, thanks. I think." Ben smiled briefly and turned back to his video game again.

"So are you going to?"

"Going to what?"

"Date my mom."

He let out an uncertain breath without answering the question. "So uh…where _is_ your mom?"

"She had to get some clothes washed or something; she said she'd be out here soon. Or, you know, we could just go back to the house now."

"Nah. I wouldn't want to spring anything on her and all that. We'll just wait here and see what she wants to do."

"Sure."

Dean nodded slowly. "Right, so…bought any good music lately?"

* * *

The pain never stopped, but sometimes it dimmed…just long enough for him to hear that voice laughing, taunting him. Sometimes it sounded far in the distance, and other times it felt close, but it was always the same.

Always the pain.

This wasn't Earth; Sam really had no body here. He was dead. There was no physical body to damage. Whatever was doing this could hurt him as long as it wanted, and it never had to end.

He knew that, and he wanted to scream. He wanted to, but he didn't. He wouldn't give the voice the satisfaction.

Not that it was just a voice. He knew there were a limited number of beings powerful enough to pull off…whatever this was, but the pain never faded enough or long enough to let him think beyond that. He couldn't think, and he couldn't see, and he wouldn't scream.

"Who are you? What do you _want_?" Sam demanded desperately, one more time.

It was no different from the dozens of other times he had posed the question.

Except that this time he got an answer.

The indistinct laughter rang in his ears once more, growing closer until it solidified into a decidedly feminine sound. The darkness before him wavered, shifted, twisted, curled…until a figure took shape. It was hazy at first, half there, but slowly cleared to show him a face he had only seen one in his own life, but would know anywhere. The blouse and slacks were black, making the long blonde hair the only thing that really stood out against the nonexistent background.

Lilith's lips curled into a feral smile. "Hello, Sam." Before he had a chance to do any more than gape at her, she held up a hand and closed it tightly into a fist.

The muted pain exploded again, worse this time than ever before.

* * *

Half an hour later Lisa showed, carrying a slightly dingy blue kickball and slightly out of breath. Dean and Ben were still on the bench, Ben in the midst of attempting to instruct Dean on how to play the video game. Dean had never had much time for such things, but he was a decently-playing arcade-goer when he did have the time. This new handheld era, though, was all but lost on him, and Ben wasn't making much progress in his instruction.

"There you are," Lisa sighed in way of announcing herself. The boys looked up as she glanced around the field. "Where is everyone? Kyle usually brings the ball, so I brought ours from the house, but no-one's really out here…"

"It is pretty hot today," Dean commented. He had long since pulled off his army-green button-down shirt and draped it over the back of the bench, even though the thing was mostly in the shade of a couple of strategically-placed young trees.

"True. You guys want to head back to the house? I think we have some ice cream left."

"Nah. Air-conditioning is for wusses," Ben answered immediately.

Dean grinned. "Rain-check on that ice cream though."

Lisa smiled. "You bet." Then she focused on her son. "Fine, mister tough guy. What do you want to do out here?"

Ben jumped up, shoved the video game into his pocket and grabbed the ball. "You know how to play kickball, Dean?"

His eyebrows went up? "Do I know how to play kickball? _Do_ I know how to play kickball? Excuse me, but you're looking at the kickball champion of the fourth grade."

That, of course, had been before Dad started his training in earnest—before he'd ever gone on the hunt. The early years. He could still see a tiny kindergarten-aged Sam, sitting on the sidelines in the field behind the elementary school of the month, cheering his big brother on.

The memory sent a harsh twinge through his chest, and he barely managed to mask the pained gasp for air as a deep breath. It fooled Ben, but Lisa still looked at him strangely as he went on.

"Anyway, yes. I can play kickball."

Lisa crossed her arms. "Don't we need more than three people?"

"Yeah, that'd be better, but we can still do it," Ben answered eagerly. "Come on; I'll pitch first and you and Dean can kick."

Dean and Lisa exchanged a glance, and when he shrugged Lisa capitulated. "All right, fine," she said, arms in the air. "After all, it's not like I have a house to clean or anything."

Ben grinned and grabbed his mother's arm, dragging her out into the middle of the grass. "Come on, Dean!"

When the park began to fill up later that afternoon, the kickball game grew to include anyone who wished to join. Lisa retired to the nearest bench once there were enough kids to play, but Dean stayed in as long as Ben did. He was on the smaller team and his kickball skills were a little rusty, but he had longer legs than anyone on the field. It all boiled down to a close match.

There was the thought of course—the one in the back of his mind that yelled at him—asking what the hell he was doing playing kickball with a bunch of kids. He was a hunter.

But he was having fun. He hadn't had fun in months.

It helped, too, to be on the winning team. He and Ben and the boys kicked the other team's ass.

"That was awesome!" Ben was saying as they walked back to the Braeden's house later. Lisa had invited Dean for dinner.

He high-fived the kid, flashing a grin. "You were great out there."

"So were you!"

"Nah, I'm just tall—well, to you guys anyway."

Lisa glanced up at him. "You're six feet tall. Isn't that tall to anyone?"

Dean answered with something halfway between a wince and a smile. "Not to six-foot-four freaks of nature."

Ben just laughed, oblivious, but Lisa gave him that look from earlier—the one that told him she knew something was up, that she knew he was hurting. Over Ben's head he gave her a reassuring smile, and she sighed and let it go without saying anything.

* * *

It was worse than looking for a needle in a haystack. They quickly realized that the human expression did not even begin to cover the likelihood of finding Sam Winchester quickly. His soul was no longer tarnished, and it had not been bartered with; it was not possible for him to be in hell. That meant that if he was not in heaven, and not on the physical plane, then he was lost somewhere in the middle ground.

The middle ground was not an advantageous place in which to be lost. It was nothing. It was endless. It was the middle ground. It was vast and dark and silent if not manipulated, and was an easy place for any being who did not want to be found to cloak themselves, if they were powerful enough. Not many were, but those that could hide could hide well.

Castiel did not know how long it would take, but now he had help. It wasn't much, but it was assistance, and it would have to do.

Sam Winchester had a family to return to, and Castiel did not plan to give up.

* * *

"Hey, you've got a birthday coming up soon, don't you?" Dean asked, as they finished up a dinner of Hamburger Helper.

Ben nodded once. "Yep. The big one-oh."

"That's right; you're hittin' double digits, man."

"Yep," he repeated. "Hey, wanna come to my party?"

"Ben, I hardly think he has the time to stick around for a few weeks," Lisa reprimanded.

Dean shrugged. "I never know what my time's gonna be like lately. Besides, even if I can't stay I can always come back."

"Yeah, Mom. He can always come back."

She shrugged. "Okay, he can come back—if he _wants_ to come to your party. I don't think he's answered the question yet."

"That was an answer. Of course I want to come. Hey, is it gonna be as cool as the one I saw year before last?"

"Even cooler," Ben grinned.

Dean's eyebrows went up curiously. "What could be cooler for a guy your age than a moonbounce full of chicks?"

"A moonbounce full of chicks _and_ a giant water slide. The girls will all be in swimsuits."

"Sweet."

"The inflatable company is running a special this year—it's actually cheaper to rent more than one," Lisa explained conspiratorially.

"Nice."

"It is. As a single mother, saving money is always a good thing," she agreed, standing. "Hey Ben, why don't you go do something for a few minutes and let us get the dishes up?"

The kid shrugged and headed off. "Okay."

When Ben was gone Dean stood too, picking up his plate and glancing at her curiously. "You want me to help wash?"

"No, we've got a dishwasher. Just hand me the dishes."

"Oh." He stacked most of the dishes in his hands and carried them to the counter near said dishwasher, which she was preparing for a load. "Huh. The last time we had a dishwasher I was four."

"What?"

"What with the moving around and all, you know, no house…we never had a dishwasher when I was a kid—except before the moving around started, when I was four," he explained.

"Right…and you were moving around because…you were hunting things like those things you killed around here a couple years ago?" She held out a hand indicating she was ready for the dishes, and he handed them to her one by one.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

Lisa sighed shortly. "I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that idea."

He smiled a little. "Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault," she shrugged. Dean went back for the rest of the dishes from the table, and she leaned on the counter for a moment. "So no dishwasher…and I guess you didn't get a home-cocked meal very often either, did you? Not that _this_ was all that great, being hamburger helper, but…"

"No, it was fine, and yeah…not very many home-cooked meals. Not these days, either, except when I'm at Bobby's."

"Bobby's?"

He came back around the counter to hand her the last of the dishes. "He uh…knew my dad for a long time—does the same job, except he runs a salvage yard besides. He's always been kind of like an uncle to Sam and me."

Lisa finished arranging the dishes, and shut the dishwasher. "Sam…that was your brother's name?" she asked quietly, as she turned it on.

Dean's jaw twitched. "Yeah." He glanced down at the happily running dishwasher, hoping to find a change in subject. "So that took all of five seconds. What'd you send Ben off for?" Then he looked up again, and from her expression realized they'd already reached the subject she'd been hoping to broach. "What?" he asked innocently.

She sighed. "Dean, are you _really_ okay?"

He swallowed. "Yeah…why?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I do?"

"Dean."

He looked at her for a long moment, and realized she wasn't going to back down. He let out a breath and back against the counter. "So I'm not so great."

"What is it?" she asked gently.

Dean shrugged, really not wanting to go into the details. Lisa didn't need to know those. "There have been…some things happening recently, with the big kahuna we're up against right now. I've just been thinking about Sam a lot lately, that's all. I'm fine."

Now it was Lisa who sighed. She took a step closer, looking up at him with concern. "Okay…but listen, if you ever want…you know, talk, or anything…" She motioned to the house around them. "You know where to find me."

"Yeah…thanks," he smiled softly.

Lisa nodded once. "You're welcome," she answered quietly.

This time it was Dean who initiated the kiss, and this time it lasted a lot longer.

* * *

When Sam could focus on anything at all again, Lilith was still there, the only image out of the darkness, still smirking at him.

"How can you be doing this?" he gasped. "How are you _here_? You're supposed to be in hell."

"The ritual your brother recited was incredibly basic—probably the only one his poor little brain could hold," she retorted.

Sam glowered. "And your point is?"

"It did it's job, but only in the simplest sense. I barely skimmed the surface of the pit. Do you really think basic hell for the average working demon could hold me? Granted, I'm not quite all the way out yet, but then again being stuck halfway _did_ give me _this_ interesting opportunity."

"Good for you," he snorted. "What the hell do you want, anyway?"

"Just you. I have what I want—for now."

"What good does having me do you? You don't even _know_ me."

Lilith grinned. "Not this time around, no."

Sam froze—which was easy. Without the pain, he couldn't feel anything. He still couldn't move. "What?"

"Don't think I haven't heard the rumors. Apparently, things were different once. We were _winning_. Lucifer was nearly free. Then you and one of your little angel friends ruined it all. You changed it." She pushed in closer, in his face, and he wished he could pull away. "Right now, _everything_ is your fault. I would drag you to hell if I could, but now I suppose I don't have to."

He swallowed; he had nothing to say to that. He couldn't deny the accusations, because they were true.

Lilith went on without backing away at all. "Maybe we don't have the atmosphere here—the heat and the noise and smell of blood and burnt flesh—but we don't need that. I'll be happy as long as you suffer, and that I can do myself."

"You're sick," he spat.

"It's my job," she snapped in return. She took a step back then, finally, and glanced out at the nothingness. "Maybe it's not hell, but we can definitely make it more interesting than _this_."

"This is just fine, thanks."

But the darkness was already lightening, taking shape. The directionless black shifted, and though he'd decided he was being held upright, he was suddenly on his back. Cold wood hardened under his back, and the blackness become gray stone walls and iron bars. His wrists and ankles were bound to the surface of the heavy table by heavy metal cuffs snapped over them.

Sam scoffed. "A dungeon. Really, Lilith? That's all you could come up with?"

She was standing over him now, and the knife in her hands looked too big with the slim, petite body she'd chosen. "I'm perfectly capable of being creative, but for now you can take some small amusement in the fact that I'm not strong enough yet to create something more complicated. Breaking into the physical plane and regaining the full strength of my powers will take time."

Lilith smirked and twirled the point of the knife against his cheek. "All I have to do is wait. That won't be so hard now; I have something to keep me busy."

It wasn't real—none of it was—but he could still feel the trickle of blood on his cheek drawn by the knife. He expect her to use it—the knife—but she only held up the hand again, and closed it.

He didn't know how it could be worse, but this time it was worse.

This time Sam screamed.


	7. Chapter 7

Whew. Well we definately stayed at the grandpa's house longer than I thought we would, but I had fun--got to help with the Vacation Bible School at his church, and my little sister got to go to it. I even got a free t-shirt. Boomerang Express. "It all comes back to Jesus." Sweet deal, huh? My cousin wh always does my hair even found time to squeeze me in and get my hair cut and do highlights so it'll look better for getting my senior pictures taken. Whee, lol.

Anyway, thanks for being so patient ya'll. :) Here's a new chapter you, and I hope you enjoy it. Please do tell me what you think. It's helps so much to know! :) Also, I'm thinking about making a video for this story, or rather for Time's rdemption, including this one, like I did with Don't Let Go. It'll be harder, but I think I might be able to pull it off. Opinions? Song suggestions?

Chapter 7

Dean's cell phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him out of the Braeden's house and into the back yard. He was only mildly surprised to see Bobby's number flash across the face, but was much more surprised to realize he had nearly half a dozen missed calls from the man. Apparently he hadn't been paying much attention to his phone as of late; some of them dated back a couple of days.

He didn't realize until he'd looked through the list of missed calls again that the phone had stopped ringing, and he quickly dialed the number back.

"_Dean_? _Are you all right_?" came the immediate answer.

"Uh, yeah, Bobby; I'm fine. What's up?"

"_Nothing—but it's been more then a week since you left. I thought for sure you'd be callin' by now, bored out of your skull and beggin' me to let you come back_."

Dean laughed once. "Thanks so much for the vote of confidence."

"_I'm just sayin'. Anyway…so where are you_?"

"Cicero, Indiana."

There was a pause. "_Why does that sound familiar_?"

He smiled to himself as he twisted just enough get a glimpse of Lisa through the kitchen window. "It's where Lisa and Ben Braeden live."

"_Braeden_? _Isn't she the one you knew from back who-knows-when_? _You saved her kid and bunch of others from a group of changelings a couple years ago_?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"_Well what the hell are you doing there_?"

He snorted. "What do you think I'm doing here, Bobby? I wanted to check up on them. They got a little bit of a rude awakening last time I saw them."

"_That happens to a lot of civilians around any job_." He could hear the amusement in Bobby's voice now, even from a few hundred miles away. "_So how long have you been 'checking up' on them_? _Or on Lisa_?"

"It's not like that, you dirty old man—not yet, anyway," Dean smirked.

Bobby chuckled. "_Whatever, Dean. I don't want to know_."

"Look, I've just kinda been hanging out here. Yeah, I…think there might be something there, with Lisa, but I'm not sure yet. I'm just glad I can be here for Ben right now, too, you know? It's not such a bad place to be—until they decide to kick me out."

"_Hilarious. Anyway, I'll leave you alone. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Apparently you're fine, so I'll get out of your hair_."

"All right."

"_And Dean_?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"_Don't be a scardy cat—ya idjit_."

"Excuse me?"

But Bobby had already hung up.

* * *

Dean was still puzzling out Bobby's call two days later—or he tried to tell himself he was still puzzling over it. Really, he knew what Bobby had meant.

He just wasn't quite ready to admit it.

He'd been here in Cicero more than a week, here at the Braeden's house nearly every day of that, and things were settling into a comfortable rhythm. It was still summer, so Ben was at home when not playing with friends. Dean came over either before or after lunch, right to the house now, and he had replaced the usual summer sitter that came when Lisa was at work.

He usually stayed until well after dinner, which still gave him plenty time with Lisa as well. Beyond a few stolen kisses nothing had happened, but he could understand how she might want to move at quite a different speed from the old days—being a mother now, and all.

That wasn't what he was here for, anyway. He was here for both of them—just to be here. He hadn't been sure before whether it would mean anything to them, but it was becoming apparent that it did. For the life of him Dean couldn't understand why they cared so much that _he_ was there…but they did just the same.

Lisa was more inclined to quite smiles—glances that told him how much she appreciated his staying around, though he still wasn't sure whether she was more appreciative for herself or because it seemed to make her son so happy. Ben himself, however, had nothing against being more than enthusiastic.

That was why Dean found himself sitting in the boy's room now, having been dragged there, being subjected to a thorough tour he somehow hadn't gotten yet. Not that he minded.

"And these are my CDs. I don't have a lot, since I'm only had a few years to collect them, but I've decided it's more about quality than quantity," he said, handing over a plastic container that had been sitting on the lower shelf of the nightstand by the small twin bed Dean was seated on. The box was long and narrow, just wide enough for the CDs to line up neatly inside.

Dean took the box with interest and began to flip through them, nodding in appreciation. "Huh. Yeah, definitely. These are all great albums you've got here." He glanced up and grinned a bit. "I don't guess you've got any tapes, do you?"

Ben glanced at the clock/radio/CD player on the top of the nightstand. "Dude, I don't even have a tape _player_."

He chuckled. "Right."

"You said _all_ of your albums are on tape, right?"

"Yeah, and if _I _don't have any vinyls sitting around stored anywhere, then I'm sure my dad did. Not that I'd ever find them, but…" Dean shrugged and trailed off, the familiar mixed ache of sorrow and anger pinging in his chest at the memory of John Winchester.

Ben looked at him for a moment, and seemed to decide it was best to move on. Good kid.

"So have you seen this?" he asked, crossing the room to the dresser. He stopped by what looked to be a set of speaker, but some plastic rectangle thing sticking up between them. It took Dean a moment to realize that it must be one of the latest iPods.

"Oh, so you've got one of _those_, huh?"

"Come on; don't diss the technological advancements 'till you've tried them."

Dean smiled. "Oh, I've tried _that_ one—my brother had one of those things. He couldn't listen to it in my car when my music was on, but he had one."

Ben blinked in confusion. "You have a brother?"

Dean blinked back, confused by the question. He didn't remember immediately that he had only mentioned his father and brother to Lisa, and that there wouldn't have been a reason for her to mention it to Ben.

"Uh…had," he swallowed. "Yeah…"

"Wow. I'm sorry…"

"It was a while ago. It's okay." But it wasn't. It wasn't the kid's fault, but the blood was already pounding in his ears.

_Had._ Usually when Sam came up…conversation or thought…he could handle it. It had been two years. He was…all right. Wasn't he?

Ben was still talking—talking because he'd known he should change the subject. "Anyway, if you bought one I could show you how to use it. I could give you copies of all the music I've got on those CDs, too. I've already ripped them all; the back-ups are on my computer."

Dean only understood half of that.

"I don't know, Ben; I'm not sure I've got the extra cash for that kinda stuff," he answered absently. It would take too long to explain that MP3 devices were practically against his religion, if he had one.

Maybe it was the fact that he'd seen his brother, sort of, only a week ago, and maybe it was just that he'd had to say the word aloud, but suddenly he needed to get out.

He stood, trying not to move too quickly—trying not to _look_ like he was running away. "Hey I'll be back, okay?"

"Okay…"

Ben didn't say anything else as he forced himself to walk calmly from the room. Lisa was still out in the main room—the living room/dining room/kitchen that made up much of the open floor-plan of the house—and seemed to be searching for something to fix for supper.

"Lisa?"

She turned quickly, shutting the freezer door in surprise. "Dean? What is it? Ben boring you with his CD collection already? I thought it was all your type of music."

"What? Oh…no, it's not that," he answered, distracted.

Lisa frowned and came around the counter to meet him. "Dean, what is it?" she repeated, more intently this time.

He let out a breath. "I don't know, I just…I think I need to…go…for a while."

The concern fell to disappointment. "Oh."

"No, not like that. I swear. I'll _be_ back, I promise." He wracked his mind for the answer—what was eating at him, or at least what might help it. "I need to hunt something. I doubt I've waited long enough to make Bobby happy, but I need to hunt something."

Lisa stared at him. "Hunt something? Like something evil hunt something?"

"Yeah…"

"_Why_? Why now?"

"I don't think it has a lot to do with _right now_, this second; I just need to _do_ it. I enjoy being here, Lisa, I really do—but I'm a hunter. I've got to hunt something." That wasn't a lie. It wasn't the whole truth—he wasn't going to tell her about the changed timeline, and talking to Sam, or any of that—but it wasn't a lie.

She shook her head slowly, trying to understand something she couldn't understand. "So that's it? You just need to hunt something?"

"I…yeah. No." He didn't _want_ to lie any more than he had to—even by omission. "I've had a lot on my mind lately, about Sam, and other things…I told you that."

"You did," Lisa answered more gently.

"I need to clear my head. Hunting does that for me," Dean told her quietly.

She winced. "You couldn't find a less dangerous hobby to do that for you?"

The corner of his mouth pulled up some. "It's not a hobby."

"I know, I know. So I've heard," she sighed.

"Lisa…"

"You'll be back. You said that."

"I'm sorry."

Lisa shrugged. "It's all right, I guess. Just please, please take care of yourself."

He smiled again, finally, even if it was weak, and kissed her quickly. "I will." Then he broke for the front door, but stopped halfway there. "And Lisa?"

She looked up, arms crossed.

"Please make sure Ben knows this isn't his fault. Tell him…tell him I still plan on keeping my promises."

At that, Lisa smiled back a little.

* * *

When the news came, it wasn't good. Of all the possible perpetrators that could have been responsible for Sam Winchester's disappearance, Castiel had never considered it could be Lilith. She was more powerful than they had ever thought…but not powerful enough to be back on her feet and through to the physical plane so soon. She was still trapped. She could go no farther than the middle ground.

Whether or not that was a good thing was yet to be seen.

Either way, it was her lack of strength that had allowed Castiel and his companions to see through her shield for a brief moment—enough to mark her location. She could not move now, or they would detect it.

Now they needed to get Sam Winchester away from her.

* * *

Dean didn't have to go far to find something to hunt. He took out a vampire up in Illinois. There was only one, but the sucker (no pun intended) was an old one, and tricky. It wasn't easy, and he made it back to Indiana early the next week with a good collection of cuts and bruises. It was enough to startle Lisa when she answered the door.

"Oh, my god! Dean? Are you all right?" she barked immediately.

"Hey," he grinned innocently.

"Don't give me that. What the hell did you do to yourself?"

"Oh, _I _didn't do anything, but that vampire outside Chicago seemed to have a pretty good time tryin' to tear me up."

Lisa blinked. "I hope you're kidding."

"Not at all," he answered bluntly, but smilingly.

She stared at him for a moment, and finally stepped back from the door and swept an arm inside, shaking her head. "Get in here before the neighbors see you."

Dean obeyed, and she promptly shut the door behind him. When she turned around he was ready, catching her with a brief but hardy kiss.

Lisa made a startled sound that morphed into ah "Oh!" when he pulled back. "Wow, uh, okay…nice to see you too."

"Sorry…hunt went a little tougher than I expected; almost got myself killed, actually." That wasn't an exaggeration of the truth, either.

"Dean—"

"I'm sorry for running off like that."

She smiled in amusement. "Well you came back. That's more than I can say about any other man in my life."

He grinned thoughtfully. "So I'm a man-in-your-life now, am I?"

Lisa crossed her arms. "I don't know. Do you want to be?"

The grin faltered. He hadn't expected such a pointed answer. Right down to business, this woman. Then again…that had always been Lisa, in one way or another.

Dean frowned. "What do _you_ want?"

She looked at him uncertainly. "I'm not sure. Do you always run off like that for indefinite periods of time?"

He sighed. "I'm a hunter, Lisa. That's not gonna change. No matter _what_ I do with the rest of my life, I don't think I'll ever stop hunting. It's who I am."

"It's your life," she said knowingly, and then glanced around at the house. "That was why, when you were here two years ago …you said that this, here, _wasn't_ your life." Then she looked at him hard, and he could see that she was already preparing to be hurt again. "Is that still true? Is this not your life? I'm sure you do really care about us, but still, what are we? Just a stop on the great road to saving-the-world?"

Dean swallowed. This was _not_ the conversation he had wanted to have as soon as he got back here.

But he didn't want to blow it, either.

"I guess I came here…thinking something like that. I thought I'd make sure you guys were doing okay, and then go—just to do something to satisfy Bobby, to say I did something besides hunt." He returned her gaze earnestly. "I wasn't thinking that way for long."

Her mouth pressed into a thin line. "But that was what you were thinking at first."

"Yeah, sort of, but then again…not exactly. I don't know, Lisa. I don't know why I chose to come _here_. I had to go _somewhere_. Things have been a little crazy lately, and Bobby all but kicked me out. I really did want to see if you and Ben were okay, and…look, I _liked_ being around here two years ago. I like being here _now_."

"Then why didn't you stay then?" she asked, leaning against the wall.

Dean sighed. "I wanted to. God I really, _really_ wanted to, but we were in the middle of a lot—a war, for all intents and purposes—and Sam had just…I'd just lost him, and I couldn't _think_ anymore, and…" he trailed off, out of explanations and excuses. He waited for her to be angry about some part of it all or the other, but after a moment she smiled again, just barely.

"Well you came back," she repeated.

* * *

Sam didn't know how long it had been since he hadn't felt anything. Lilith had never given that back. Even when the pain was momentarily absent he could feel the table under him and the metal around his wrists and ankles and a deep ache in his being that wouldn't go away.

He didn't know how long he'd been here. Days? Weeks? It didn't matter anymore. There was no way to mark time. Where the walls of the stone room faded at the edges there was only the darkness. He had no real body to tire and Lilith could hurt him, and it didn't have to stop. He had no physical mind to overload and shut down and leave him in blessed unconsciousness.

There was no sleep. There was no escape.

Did anyone even know he was missing? That he wasn't where he should be? Was anyone looking? Was Castiel looking? Did Cas even know he hadn't made it back?

Lilith had been gone for a short while now, as she sometimes was, and when it happened Sam could rest—as much as he could rest restrained as he was. At least he was on his back.

Not that his back or the rest of his body was any more real than the room around him…but he couldn't control that. Here he was nothing more than a human spirit—and powerless. He had never felt more helpless.

_Cas…damnit, Cas. Help…_

It wasn't much longer before Lilith materialized at his side. "Miss me?" she smirked. Sam groaned inwardly and stared blindly upward, refusing to give her the satisfaction of looking at her at all.

For a brief moment the pain flared, bright and hot in his chest, and his eyes clenched shut involuntarily as he fought the urge to groan. He heard an inarticulate grunt from his lips, and then the pain was gone again. He let out a breath and swallowed, but that was all he had time to do before the pain came in full force.

Sam's back arched away from the table as he shouted, and by the time Lilith stopped and his body dropped again, he couldn't breathe. It didn't matter. He didn't need air, but it hurt.

His eyes opened while he gasped, long enough to catch a glimpse of Lilith twisting a lock of hair around a finger. She let go of the hair and he knew she was going to start again.

Then she froze.

"Damnit."

What?

"Angels," she muttered to herself. "Pesky little things." She turned calmly—if angrily—toward a corner where the walls faded to the blackness instead of meeting, as if she knew something.

"You'd better stop right there, or Sam here will be the worse for it."

Sam swallowed when she swung a hand back over him, ready. It didn't close but it was there, threatening, and seconds later the nothingness in the corner shimmered, and another form took shape—more than one more. Then Castiel was there, with two other angels flanking him.

"Let him go, Lilith."

She smirked. "Make me."

"You're not strong enough to fight us for long."

"I can't do much to _you_ boys, but I can do anything I want to Sam, and I can do it before you can get to me."

Castiel glowered and took a threatening step forward.

Lilith's hand clenched into a fist, and Sam screamed. Before the pain blotted everything from awareness he heard her shouting to Cas.

"I said STOP! Stop and back away, or I promise you I'll tear him to shreds! Maybe he's dead and I can't kill him, but I can do that. He would never be himself again, and you know it. I don't think you want that, and I doubt his family on _either_ side of divide would be very happy with you."

Then everything was bright and pain and nothing else, but only for a moment. Then it all stopped.

Sam slumped, trembling, and through blurry vision he saw that Castiel had stepped back as asked. The angel was looking at him, and if an angel could be pale he would have been. His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but Lilith spoke first.

"I suggest you leave."

Castiel glared once more. "This is not over. We will not let you keep him here."

"I'm sure."

She played indifferent, but Sam knew she was angry—knew that she knew her plans had been foiled…whatever those plans were.

It was only a matter of time now. Wasn't it?

Cas let his gaze wonder to Sam once more, and his hands moved only slightly, spread a bit in a discrete shrug of apology. The grimace on his face added to the sentiment. _I'm sorry…We'll be back. I promise._

Lilith hadn't turned yet, and Sam was able to nod weakly.

Then the angels were gone.

He should have felt a little better. He knew they were trying to get him out. He wasn't forgotten. But somehow he felt more alone than before. It didn't help when Lilith turned to him again, grinning mischievously and doing an excellent job of covering the anger. For all she was smiling, there might not have been an interruption at all.

"Where were we?" she sang.

Sam's stomach turned over, and his mouth went dry immediately.

_Hurry…_


	8. Chapter 8

Here ya go! Unfortunately I have to warn you not to get used to this every-other-day thing, because Dad's getting home tomorrow and will take up a lot of the computer time, but anyway...it won't be too much slower though. Summer's still here! For a little while, anyway.

So enjoy this chapter, and please do continue to let me know what you think. It helps so much; thanks! :)

Chapter 8

"Is Ben asleep?"

Lisa pulled him back. "He's asleep."

Dean wasn't sure who had begun it this time, but the lip-lock hadn't let them get any farther than the couch, and his question had been the first words spoken since.

"Are you sure?" he managed a moment later.

"I'm sure."

But after another moment she pulled back again, composing herself. "Okay, you're right. Slowing down."

He smirked. "Hey, we don't have to. It's not usually my style anyway."

"Don't I know it."

"But we should probably at _least_ move this out of the living room."

"Agreed."

When she didn't get up he looked at her curiously, and Lisa kissed him once more and then settled back into the cushions. "So…a vampire?"

"Yeah. And?"

She winced and traced a scrape on his face with her thumb. "So they exist too."

"A lot of crap exists, but trust me; you don't wanna know."

"What if I do?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. "I don't think—"

"Why don't you let me decide for myself?" Lisa cut in, crossing her arms petulantly. "I mean really, Dean…if you're going to change my outlook on the world forever, the least you could do is tell me more."

Part of him wanted to, and part of him didn't. She shouldn't have to know all of those things…but then again, she was right. She knew there were things out there, and in a way it was cruel not to fill her in on any more.

He sighed. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I'm a big girl, Dean. You don't have to protect me." She sat up and leaned over her knees toward him. "Tell me about this vampire."

He tried one last tactic to change the subject, attempting to lean in to kiss her. "You want to hear about this now…?" he asked suggestively.

Lisa planted a hand in his chest to hold him off, though she was grinning. "Yes. I want to hear about this now. I'd rather talk about it when Ben's asleep anyway, because I don't want _him_ getting any ides…"

Dean nodded, serious immediately. "Yeah…he doesn't need to know this crap."

She nodded in agreement, and pulled her knees up to her chest. "But _I _want to know." She must have seen the frown that was still on his face, because she smiled again. "And don't be like that. Come on; some of it's still 'cool,' right?"

He grinned back. "I guess." It was his life, after all. He hadn't lived it this long without finding the enjoyment in the hunt.

"Then tell me. What are vampires _really _like? Are there a lot them?"

"Thank god, no."

"Good…" she nodded, and seemed genuinely relieved. Good…at least she seemed to be understanding the seriousness of all this, as well as the interesting side.

Dean shifted on the couch, getting comfortable again, and resigned himself to the fact that if he was going to stick around here he was going to have share a lot more than he was used to.

"Anyway, uh…for one thing, you have to know that most of the crap you _think_ you know about vampires is total bull…"

* * *

Dean woke in Lisa's bed the next morning, and she was already coming out of the bathroom—in a robe and fresh from the shower.

"Whoa, soccer mom. You always up this early?" he groaned, sitting up and scrubbing a hand over his face.

She smiled back at him briefly and headed for the closet. "Sorry…I've got work this morning."

He shrugged and again took in where he was. "Well…that was a jump."

Lisa emerged from the closet, carrying clothes for the day, and crossed to the bed to kiss him. "What?"

"We started out on vampires," Dean smirked.

"No, we started _out_ on this," she said, and kissed him again. "Vampires were just a brief detour."

"Uh huh. Right. Anyway, uh…I didn't freak you out or anything, did I?"

Lisa acted as if she wanted to say no, but winced and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. "Well I might be checking people I've known for years for an extra set of teeth for a few days, but other than that I'll be fine."

"Sorry," he grimaced. "I told you you wouldn't want to know."

"No, no, I'm glad I know. I'm just going to have to work a little harder to get used to this stuff; that's all."

Dean let out a breath. "If you're sure."

She hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. "I'm sure," she said, and smiled. "Maybe tonight you can tell me about that arsenal in your trunk I've caught glimpses of."

"Sounds fun." He tried to kiss her briefly, but it turned into a production. After several moments they both managed to pull away, and he chuckled. "You'd better get out of here before you end up late for work." She grinned. "I've got to go too. I should find a motel to set up shop in."

Lisa opened her mouth immediately, as if she had something to say to that, but then closed it again.

"What?"

She sighed. "You know…we _have_ a guest room," she said slowly. "You could use it for a while…if you wanted to."  
Dean blinked in surprise. "Huh. Well…are you sure that wouldn't be weird?"

"Are you joking? Ben would love having you around like that."

"Just Ben, huh?"

Lisa let out a breath and covered his hand on the bed with both of her. "No…"

"Then…?"

"_I _want you to stay," she said after a moment. "I want you to stay as long as you want to."

Dean looked at her long and hard, trying out of habit to think of _some_ reason why he should say no.

Right now he couldn't think of one.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"You said that," she grinned.

He kissed her again. "I guess there's no reason to call a babysitter then." His eyebrows went up suddenly. "Does Ben even know I'm here yet?"

"He was up when I went out to the kitchen for coffee before my shower. I told him."

"Wow, you people get up early…"

"Yes, and laugh at sloths like you," she laughed, slapping his leg with the clothes she'd been holding in her lap.

"Hey, I've only been a live-in guest for two seconds and you're already making fun of me?" he protested.

"Welcome to the Braeden house."

* * *

**Are we certain this is the only way?**

_**We have looked everywhere, Castiel. This is the only option. **_

**I did not want to bring Dean into this if it wasn't necessary.**

_**It is necessary.**_

**Then let me speak with him alone.**

_**Hurry. Sam Winchester is running out of time.**_

**I know.**

* * *

"Okay, school is three weeks away. Why are you shopping for it _now_? I thought we were here to get stuff for the party."

Lisa picked up several packs of wide-ruled loose leaf paper and dropped them into the basket. "We are, but while we're here we might as well get the school supplies out of the way before the crowds start coming in."

"It's a tradition," Ben filled in, tossing in a few packs of pencils and two highlighters. "We do it every year."

"Kill two birds with one stone, I guess…"

"Exactly," Lisa nodded.

"Peachy."

Ben pulled the school supple list out of his pocket. "Wanna help?"

"That's why I came. Granted, I actually came to help pick out party supplies, but it's all shopping."

The kid laughed and tore the list in half in the middle. "Here. You take the top half and I'll take the bottom half and Mom can watch the cart and get the party stuff I don't have to pick out."

Dean shrugged and took the proffered paper. "Great." He took one look at the thing and scowled. "What the hell is a trapper-keeper?"

"Fancy name for a binder with a zipper," Lisa explained. "Next aisle."

"Wow, I am way behind on this school stuff."

"I'll grab one," Ben said. "That's kinda something I have to pick, too. There's a lot of different styles and designs and stuff. I want something cool—like, black or army green."

"Of course you do," Dean nodded in agreement, and smiled.

The last few weeks had been a lot like this; easy, but new…an exploration of territory he'd never really traveled before. The occasional hunt kept him firmly grounded in reality, and Lisa didn't begrudge him that. She knew it was who he was, and that he needed it, and though she didn't know specifically about Lilith he'd let her know that there was something he needed to be watching out for.

Either way, he was glad he was still here and that he hadn't chickened out. He cared a lot for Lisa and Ben, especially now, after spending so much time with them…and it was good for once in his life to have a home base to come back to other than Pastor Jim's or Bobby's or a motel.

That, however, didn't help him from feeling a little silly turning to the shelves behind him to look for the basic blue and black ink pens.

Well…he'd just have to get over it.

Dean spotted the pens, and reached for them—only to stumble forward across a suddenly carpeted floor when the shelf abruptly ceased to be there.

He steadied himself and straightened to look around. When he realized it was the damn not-motel-room again, he grimaced. "Now what?"

"I am sorry to have to come to you, but we need your help."

Dean turned to Castiel anxiously. "What is it? Is it Lilith?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Damnit…she's out already?"

"Not exactly."

"What the hell's that mean?"

"It means she is no longer in hell, but she is not on Earth. She is still confined to the middle ground."

He scowled. "Is that…bad? I don't think I'd be here if it was good."

"No…you would not. Under normal circumstances we would not even know she was there. We would have contacted you when we knew she was through to Earth. However, I'm afraid she has done something that has made her presence there known, and…it is mostly certainly not good.

Dean stared at him. "Is it just me, or are you actually dancing around the subject? That's not like you, Cas. What's up?" he asked, uneasy already.

Castiel sighed. "Dean…she has Sam."

What? "Excuse me?"

"She has Sam."

"I heard you the first time, but how the _hell_ is that possible?" he demanded, chest clenching in horror.

"Do you remember when he came to you several weeks ago?"

"Of course I remember."

"I brought him there, and I was to make certain he was returned to Heaven. I brought him halfway, and was attacked. I…lost him."

"You lost him? You _lost_ him?"

Cas wouldn't look at him. "I am sorry. It was too sudden. He was taken from me before I knew what had happened. It took long enough after that to _find out_ what had happened."

Dean felt himself edging into panic. "What _did_ happen?"

"Lilith was waiting in the middle ground. We had to pass through it, and she took me by surprise."

"She was that far by then? That was weeks ago! She's had him for _weeks_? Cas!" he shouted in frustration.

"We can get him out!"

"How?"

"That's why you're here."

Dean huffed, forcing himself to calm down. "Why, exactly? How am _I_ supposed to help if they're not even on Earth?"

Castiel explained how Lilith could sense the angels coming. "We cannot get close enough to extract him. If we attempt again, she as threatened to harm Sam."

"Harm him? How could she hurt him at all? He's already dead," Dean swallowed.

"Dean, if souls could not be harmed or twisted there would be no demons."

His stomach went through the floor. "W-what could she do to him?"

"You do not want to know."

"Has she done anything already? Is he okay? Cas, tell me now," he demanded.

Castiel grimaced. "She has not done anything permanently damaging."

"_What_?" Then she _had_ hurt him? She was hurting him? Of course she would. She was Lilith. "Oh god…" He dropped into one of the chairs at the table before he could fall on his ass.

"We can get him out now, but we need your cooperation."

"Cas, you've got it. You know that. What the hell do I have to do? Tell me and I'll do it."

"We need a distraction, so that we can get to her."

"Me?" Castiel nodded. "Well how am I supposed to get there to distract her? _How_ am I supposed to distract her?"

"Just like I can bring you here to speak with you, I can send you there. I cannot do that with one of our own kind. You only need to be there. She will not expect it. We only need a few seconds; you should not be in any real danger."

Dean scowled. "That's it?"

"Not quite."

"What else is there?"

"After you have distracted her and we have her, she will be busy dealing with us. While we are keeping her at bay, I need you to do something."

"Like…?"

Castiel held out a folded sheet of paper. "I need you to read this."

Dean unfolded and stared uncomprehendingly at the Latin words he could pronounce—sort of—but couldn't understand.

"It's a spell—an exorcism thousands of years old. It will not send her to hell, but unleash her on earth. She will even be physical for a time."

"And how is that something we _want_ to do?"

The corner of the angel's mouth actually turned up a bit. "If she is on earth and she is physical, she can be killed."

Dean froze. "Wait…you mean…?"

The smile became a bit more substantial. "We can end this, Dean. We can rescue your brother, and kill Lilith."

He let out a breath and almost laughed. "Then let's do it. Let's go, right now…"

Cas held out a hand to steady him. "Wait. When we do this, your body will not go with you. You should have someone to watch it."

Dean opened his mouth and closed it, frowning. "I have a feeling that would freak Lisa out a little. She'd do it, but I'd have to explain a _lot_ more than I've explained so far." He sighed. "I should haul ass to South Dakota, shouldn't I?"

"Bobby Singer would be the most obvious choice, yes. I would suggest that. When Lilith is released, she will be released where the exorcism was read—wherever _you_ are…or your body."

"Then we should definitely not do this here. Right. Get me back then so I can get to Bobby's," he said quickly. "Are you sure he'll be okay until then?"

A steady hand on his shoulder kept him from sliding any closer back to panic. "Sam will be all right. Now go."

The motel room disappeared in a disorienting swirl of pointless colors, and he was standing in front of the pens again.

"Dean? Dean!"

"W-what?" He twisted to see Lisa and Ben staring at him worriedly.

"You okay, man?" Ben asked.

"I…what happened?"

Lisa frowned uncertainly. "You…spaced out, or something." She cocked her head a little, and the expression on her face told him he must have been wearing quite a doozie on his. "What's wrong?"

"We have to go…"

"What?"

"I'm really, really sorry, but we have to go—now. We have to get back to the house and I have to get my car. I have to go."

"Why?"

He glanced around to check the vicinity of anyone else, and leaned closer. "Please just trust me. There's trouble. We need to go." She looked him in the eyes for a long moment, and he was almost afraid she was going to argue.

"Come on, Ben. We'll come back later."

They left the half-full cart in the aisle and walked straight out to the Braeden's van. It wasn't until they were safely inside and pulling out of the parking lot that she questioned him.

"What's going on, Dean? _Please_ tell me there's a good reason for walking out in the middle of a _rather _important shopping trip."

"Is something bad going on?" Ben asked immediately.

"Yeah…something like that. I have to get to Bobby's."

"But you'll come back, right?"

He winced to himself, because he knew that no matter how safe Cas promised the op should be for him, there was always the chance that he might not come back anywhere, at all—especially where Lilith was involved. "I should, Ben."

The kid took it at face value and sat back, satisfied, but Lisa shot him a worried look. He mouthed back that he would explain when they got back to the house. When they got there she made sure Ben went outside, and followed him to the guest room he'd only been sleeping in half the time he was here.

"Does this have something to do with whatever you've been waiting for?" she asked uneasily.

"Yeah," he answered, throwing his things in his bag. He didn't need all of it, but if he didn't come back he didn't want Lisa and Ben to be left to get rid of it.

"Then it's dangerous."

"Any hunt is dangerous."

She shifted. "Yes, I've kind of gathered that, but this is…big, isn't it?"

Dean zipped the bag and pulled it up over his shoulder and sighed. "Yeah. It's big," he grimaced.

"Are you going to tell me any more than that?"

"It's a long, long story—too long for right now. Maybe someday. But I have to do this. Unfortunately, it may affect the fate of….you know, the world, just a little."

She stared at him. "The world."

"Ah…I didn't tell you about the angels, did I?"

"You've mentioned demons once or twice—no angels. Dean, _the world_?"

"If this demon gets out and we don't kill her, yes—the world," he said, growing a little frustrated. He needed to get out of here. Sam was in trouble.

Lisa swallowed. "I should be surprised…somehow I'm not."

Dean went to her side. "Look…I'll explain later, if I can. There's a lot more you don't know, and if you really want to know I'll tell you. I guess you've proved you can handle it. But right now I have to go."

"Be careful…"

At that he really stopped long enough to look at her, and remember once again that now he really did have a _reason_ to be careful…to come back. He kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around him and held on for a long moment.

"I'll do my best," he answered.

"This may be the oldest line in the book, but I _promise _I will bring you back and kill you myself if you let anything happen to you."

"Remind me not to tell you it can be done," he chuckled softly.

Lisa pulled back. "It can?" she frowned.

"Forget I said that."

"Done."

Dean let go and brushed his lips to hers one more time. "I'll be back." Then he left, telling himself that he would be—with a safer world to show for it.

He reached into his pocket as he went, and felt the paper there tucked safely away and waiting.


	9. Chapter 9

Here ya go. :) Big chapter! But it's not over yet. (evil grin) Please do let me know what you think, and I'll be back with more soon! Thanks so much ya'll!

Chapter 9

Dean gave Bobby a heads-up that he was coming, and explained everything Castiel had said. It took the rest of the day and the entirety of the night to get there, but Bobby was ready when he got there—and Castiel was waiting.

"We must not waste time," the angel said immediately.

"Damn straight," he agreed. "So how's this gonna work?"

Bobby directed him to the room he was all-too familiar with—where they had evicted the demon Meg from a body twice, and cooked up the spell that ended the the rise of the witnesses. Something similar to a devil's trap was chalked on the floor, and he was told to lie on the couch just outside it. There was already a rifle and a bottle of holy water on the desk across the room.

"Apparently I'm just supposed to keep an eye out here," Bobby frowned, crossing his arms.

Dean pulled the knife from his belt and dropped onto the couch. "Don't worry; if I understood Cas right, you'll be in on at least the last part of the action."

"Better than nothing, I guess," he snorted.

"This is not about action; it concern bringing an end to Lilith's schemes and retrieving Sam Winchester," Castiel scolded.

"We know, Cas. We just both _really_ want to see that bitch dead; that's all," Dean sighed. He laid back on the couch, holding up the knife. What should I do with this?"

"Put it within easy access," the angel instructed. "You will not be able to use it until you return to your body, and when you do you must be quick; the spell will not last long."

"Right..." He set the knife on the table by the couch and spread out again. In a moment Bobby was in his field of vision.

"Just because ya ain't physical where you're going doesn't mean ya can't get hurt. Be careful, boy."

Dean nodded once. "I plan to be." He glanced out and saw Castiel waiting. "We ready? Is that it?"

"It is."

He took a deep breath and let it out. "Then let's get this show on the road. Hit me, Cas."

The angel came to crouch at his side. "You still have the paper?"

Dean patted his pocket for reassurance. "Yep."

"Good. That will transfer with you. However, there is one more thing you need to know. Once my companions and I arrive and Lilith is preoccupied—"

"I read the spell, we all get zapped back here, and I kill her. Yeah; I got that."

"That is not all. When you arrive, the space will look like something—some type of room or place. Even if Lilith has not conformed it herself, your mind will translate what it receives and show you something. Your mind is still human; it will have to do that. You would not be able to function in the middle ground without some visual translation."

Dean blinked at him. "Okay, so I've been officially warned about the scenery. "Can we move on now?"

"Dean, Lilith will have your brother restrained in some way. I cannot explain what it is in reality, but with everything else your mind will translate that as well—again, only if Lilith has not already. However Sam to restrained, you must free him before reading the spell or he will not be released here with the rest of us."

"Oh...why didn't you say so?"

"I thought I should explain first."

He huffed. "We don't have any more time for explanation, Cas. Let's move."

Castiel sighed and nodded once. "Very well." They all exchanged an anxious glance, and then the angel brought a hand to Dean's forehead.

The flash was immediate. Bobby's place was gone and he was standing half-shadowed in the far corner of a cavernous room of stone walls, and a non-existent ceiling where those walls faded up and into black, nothing. Now that he looked at it, the corner he had appeared in did the same thing...faded into oblivion.

All of this he noticed in seconds—before he heard the screaming.

"Sam!" he hissed to himself.

And there they were, across the room that was more like a dungeon—Sam on the table there and Lilith standing above. She was just standing there, smirking, flexing a hand over his chest. She wasn't even touching him. The hand seemed to be doing it.

Dean stood frozen in horror, watching her open and close it. She closed it, and Sam screamed. His back arched away from the table because his arms and legs couldn't move. She closed it and he went limp again, gasping desperately for breaths that came out in moans. She opened and closed it, opened and closed it, faster and faster...toying with him. Oh god.

Sam sobbed once as he let out a breath, and Dean forced himself to snap out of it.

Distraction. He was here to be a distraction, so that Cas and his buddies could get here to be a bigger distraction. Strange, but hopefully effective.

He had to distract Lilith; she had to stop. NOW.

She was closing her fist again, and holding it that way, and Sam was sobbing harder while he screamed and tried futilely to pull away.

"Stop it!" Dean shouted, charging out of the shadows of nothing.

Lilith spun in surprise and her arm fell to her side, releasing Sam from whatever the hell she'd been doing to him. He slumped back to the table, moaning softly as he shook through the aftershocks of the sobs.

"And we were just getting to the good part," Lilith glared. "Well, Dean...I must say I didn't expect to see _you_ here."

"Sorry; I should have called first."

"No no; I like surprises," she smirked.

Not enough; not distracted enough...

"Let him go. Do it right now, or I swear to god—"

"Oh, you do? And for the longest time you didn't believe," she shot back.

All he had to do was growl and take a step forward, and Lilith had slammed him back into wall. By the time Dean regained any of his senses she was stalking toward him.

There; that ought to count for pretty distracted.

The floor suddenly wasn't under him, and he was up against the wall. Over Lilith's shoulder Sam was starting to realize some of what was going on. His head was up for a moment as he glanced their way in alarm and tugged at the restraints again, but that effort didn't last long before his energy seemed to disappear and his head dropped again.

The Lilith was cutting off his air.

And how the hell could she do that anyway?

Whether it was real or not, eventually it hurt. Whether he was gasping for air or for something he knew he wouldn't understand, it hurt just the same. The same panic was there, and Lilith was still smirking.

"How did you get here, Dean?"

Dean's hands clawed at his throat, but he only glared. On the table, Sam was craning his neck, trying to see what was happening. "Dean—!"

He didn't panic until everything started to fade out. _Not good. Not...good..._

Then another flash, and Castiel was right behind her. He only took form for a few seconds, along with two other angels—long enough for Lilith to scream as they grabbed her, and then all of them were only black cloud and light.

The force holding Dean to the wall dropped him, and once he had his bearings he hurried across to the table. "Sammy!"

His brother was barely conscious by now. "Dean? W-what the hell is going on?"

"I'll take that as a 'nice to see you,'" he said, as he examined the restraints.

Sam sobbed weakly. "God...you have no idea."

Thank god it wasn't complicated. The heavy metal clamps over his wrists and ankles were held closed by pins that were easily slid out. Dean pulled open the two over his ankles, and then freed Sam's wrists. He stared to pull his brother's arms down from beside his head, but Sam shouted.

He moved slower after that.

Dean _gently_ eased his brother's arms down, and slipped an arm under his shoulders to pull him up against his chest. Sam whimpered and groaned from the movement, and Dean wondered again how the hell this _wasn't_ real. Sam sounded real, and felt real, and the way his brother trembled in his arms definitely felt real.

"Easy, Sammy. I've got you."

Sam relaxed a little against him and Dean held him close, casting a protective eye over his shoulder at the seemingly formless battle above their heads as he pulled the slip of paper from his pocket.

"Hold on. We're getting you out of here," he said, flinching when the noise above roared louder. "Here goes nothing," he muttered. Utterly cliche, but then again this was what they were for, right?

Squinting against the flashes that weren't so unlike a storm—and having severe flashbacks to the convent from several weeks ago—he read the Latin words as carefully but as quickly as possible. There was no flash when he finished, but there was something like a deafening clap of thunder.

Then his arms were empty and he was waking up on Bobby's couch.

Dean twisted, dropping off the couch and shooting up onto his feet. Lilith and Sam were inside the circle—the thing similar enough to a devil's trap, but somehow different. Bobby had his rifle in his hands, and the angels were nowhere to be seen.

Lilith was sitting up, staring down at herself. "Not possible..."

Dean snatched the knife and went for her, but she recovered in time to throw him back into the couch. The knife skittered across the floor. Sam looked to be unconscious; he seemed blissfully unaware of any of it.

The cushions didn't hurt so much, but the base of the couch behind them knocked the wind out of Dean. He heard a gun shot, and focused in time to see Lilith reeling back from a shot of rock salt Bobby had given her.

"Dean!" The knife had landed near the older hunter and he kicked it back before aiming for another shot. He didn't get the shot off before Lilith plowed him over his desk and into the wall above the fireplace.

Dean grabbed for the knife sliding his way. By the time Lilith turned he had it and was up to meet her with a blade through the chest.

"That's for my brother, bitch," he snarled.

Lilith stared at him in shock only for a brief moment before Dean pulled the knife out and she crumpled to the floor, as dead as Azazel and Ruby and the others he'd killed since.

No time to celebrate.

Bobby was dragging himself to his feet as Dean spun. "Sam?"

His brother was still on the floor, and now Castiel was crouched beside him, a hand on his leg. Dean looked at him strangely.

"I'm anchoring him here," the angel explained, though his eyes were on the dead demon. "Otherwise he would have returned to heaven already." He finally looked at Dean, and there was that apologetic gaze again. "You should say goodbye."

Dean swallowed and exchanged glances with Bobby, who seemed to have heard. He didn't bother answering aloud as he knelt beside Sam and gently pulled his little brother into his arms again. Sam was already beginning to stir, and his face pushed into the flannel of Dean's shirt.

"Dean...?"

"I'm right here, Sammy."

His brother's eyes flickered open to look up at him groggily."Hey..." He shifted and groaned. "Ah, god..."

"Take it easy." He glanced up worriedly at Cas. "I take it this has something to do with the whole souls-can-be-hurt-too thing?"

Castiel nodded silently, mouth pressed into a firm line.

Sam let out an uncomfortable breath. "It's okay...I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah...that's what heaven's for. I can heal there."

"Things like this are very rare, but have happened before. As soon as Sam returns he will be healed; there is no suffering there."

Dean swallowed. "Then I guess you should get going..."

Sam closed a hand around a fistful of his shirt. "Not yet." He tensed suddenly with his protest but immediately went limp again, gasping. "Ah! Damnit..."

The last thing he wanted was to watch his brother leave again, but he couldn't take seeing him hurting, either. There was no way to know just how much it all _really_ hurt, after _weeks _with that bitch...

"Sam—"

"Just a minute, Dean." Bobby came around then, and Sam caught a glimpse of him and smiled. "Bobby...so you had something to do with this too, huh? Could've guessed."

Bobby crouched beside the brothers, trying to smile back. "It's been awhile."

"Yeah." Sam held out a hand and Bobby took him by the forearm, holding on tight that way for just a moment.

"Missed you around here, boy," he managed.

"Thanks for the help..."

Bobby was only able to nod before he let go and stood and headed out for the kitchen to give the brothers some space. Castiel was still there, but there was no way to avoid that. Apparently the angel was the only thing holding Sam here.

"Dean, ow—!"

He realized he'd been holding on too tightly, and loosened his grip. "Sorry..." But every time he saw Lilith standing over that table in his mind he heard Sam screaming.

He never wanted to hear Sam screaming again.

He never wanted to hear it again, and the thing that had caused it this time was dead as a freaking doornail, and she was going to stay that way.

They sat in silence for a moment, Dean still holding his brother up against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Sam said finally.

"What the hell for?" he snorted.

"Just...this—that you got dragged into it, I guess. I'm sorry."

He swallowed. "Hey... watchin' out for you is my job."

Sam let out a breath. "I'm _dead_. You shouldn't have to worry about me."

"It's okay." No...it _wasn't_ okay—though it wasn't saving his brother that he objected to. He would do that every day if he had to.

It was the realization that came with this little adventure that hurt.

"I wish you didn't have to go back," he blurted after a moment.

"I have to go back. I couldn't recover down here." His voice dropped. "I wish I could stay, too."

"And here I thought heaven was supposed to be so great."

"It is...but you're not there."

Dean forced a smirk. "Well I don't think you want me there _now_."

"No, I don't."

"That could be a problem."

Sam laughed weakly. "I guess it is." They both fell silent again, until he spoke up. "It's not your fault, Dean."

"What?"

"What happened. It wasn't your fault."

"Sam, you never would have left heaven if it weren't for me. Of course this is at least _partly_ my fault."

His brother let out a breath and pushed away. Castiel shifted back, but kept the hand on his leg. Dean opened his mouth in protests, but Sam managed to sit up on his own. His hands were firmly planted on the floor in front of him, and he wasn't doing it without swaying a little, but he was sitting up.

"Dean, don't. I came to see you because I wanted to, and I don't regret it—whether you really listened to me, or not."

"Oh, I listened all right," he muttered. How wise it had been to do so, he couldn't say anymore. Not after today.

"What?"

"Never mind."

Sam sighed. "I guess I'll find out when I get back."

Dean frowned. "You can do that?"

"Heaven, Dean. Time's not such a strict thing up there. I can catch up. How the hell long has it been here, anyway?"

"I don't know...seven or eight weeks, I guess." He winced again hearing himself say it—knowing where his brother had been all that time.

Sam grimaced with him. "So a couple of months?"

"Yeah..."

"Felt longer," he said quietly.

"Sammy, I'm--"

"_Don't_ apologize."

"Fine," he agreed, disgruntled. Sam nodded, but swayed forward. "Whoa, careful." Dean caught him and held him semi-upright, but for a moment his head hung forward as he groaned.

"I don't think I can stay much longer," he breathed. Even through the pain, he didn't seem happy about it.

Dean wasn't happy about it either, but seeing Sam like this was hell.

His brother collected himself and looked up again, trying to smile. "So about that advice..."

He shrugged. "I'm trying, Sam. Like you said, I guess you'll get the details later."

Sam just looked at him for a long moment, with that concerned look on his face. "Okay." He didn't sound convinced.

And Dean wasn't sure he should protest. Sure, everything had been fine with Lisa and Ben until now, but...if Sam hadn't been safe _dead_, how safe would any family he had ever be? How could he do that to them?

"Just...god, I know it sounds insanely cliché, but don't be afraid to be happy, okay? Just because I lost out on the whole package doesn't mean you can't have it."

Dean wanted to believe it. He'd spent the last several weeks slowly coming to believe it was possible.

Now he just didn't know anymore.

"I'll be fine," was all he said, as he smiled again. Sam smiled back, buying into it a bit more this time. Then he shifted forward and hugged him.

"Goodbye again?" Dean asked dejectedly. He returned the embrace even though part of him didn't want to.

"I don't know...I don't think I should answer that one this time. Look what happened here," Sam chuckled.

"Not the greatest of circumstances to meet under," he grumbled.

"No, but we're here."

Dean hesitated. "No goodbyes then?"

"No. No goodbyes," Sam answered quietly.

"I guess I can get on board with that."

Sam laughed again, and both of them held on for several long moments before he slowly pulled away to look back at the angel holding his leg. "Okay, Cas," he sighed.

Then Castiel let go.

Sam started to fade almost immediately, but Dean held onto his brother's arms.

"Just remember—you'd better stick around down here for a while," Sam instructed. "I will kick your _ass_ if you show up up there too soon."

Dean really smirked that time. "Well noted," he nodded.

Then his arms were empty, and this time there was no waking up.

* * *

It was five in the morning two nights later when he made it back to Indiana—once he'd crashed on the couch at Bobby's long enough to be able to drive and worked up the courage to go.

Because he knew what he had to do.

He let himself in with the key Lisa had given him three weeks ago, and found her in bed. "Lisa. Lisa, hey. Wake up..." he whispered, prodding her gently. After a moment she let out a breath and her eyes opened.

"Dean...?" She sat up quickly. "Dean!" Her arms were around him before he knew what had hit him. "Dean, thank god! Are you all right? What happened?"

He carefully pried her off. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"And?"

"And what?"

"You said you'd explained when you got back. Start explaining."

Dean hesitated. "I don't think I should explain _all_ of it."

"You said you would."

"But—"

"Dean!"

He huffed. "Look, the basic story is this: My brother has been gone for two years—dead and buried. But that demon? The one I had to get to Bobby's to help take care of? She was still able to get to him."

Lisa's eyebrows went up. "How is that possible?"

"It's complicated, but she did it. He actually, uh...came to see me, a few weeks ago, just before I came here. He was, you know, elsewhere, but with a little help he made it back long enough to see me. The demon nabbed him on his way back."

"Oh my god..."

"Oh believe me; there was no god involved in this incident." His eyes dropped and he took an unsteady breath, trying to shake the images of his brother screaming from his mind.

In seconds a warm hand was on his arm. "What happened?"

"She hurt him, Lisa. Don't ask me how _that's_ possible, but she hurt him—bad. She hurt him, and there wasn't really anything I could do about it. Remember the angels I mentioned? I had to have their help just to get him away from her."

Lisa sat back, a little overwhelmed. "Wow, I'm...I'm sorry. I just don't understand..."

He shook his head. "It's okay. You don't have to understand. You don't need to." She looked at him curiously, and he took a deep breath. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to do this almost as much as he'd ever wanted to avoid _anything_—but it was the right thing to do.

Wasn't it?

"Lisa...he wasn't safe. I couldn't protect him. Even on the other side, he was still in danger because of me, and our family, and...a battle that's been going on as long as I can remember."

"I'm so sorry..." She hesitated. "But—"

"What does this have to do with anything else?" She just looked at him, searching. "Anyone around me is going to be in that kind of danger, Lisa. Maybe this demon is dead, and maybe this war is over, but there are things out there that want me dead. There's still going to be danger from any hunt that could follow me home. That's not going change for me."

Lisa gripped his arms. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I can't do that to you," Dean answered quietly.

"Well what the hell does _that_ mean?"

"I can't stay here anymore."

"In the house?"

"In Indiana—anywhere near you and Ben. Especially Ben. The last thing I want to do is put either of you in danger. If I stay, that's what I'll be doing."

She tried to keep hold of him but he stood. "Wait—you mean you're _leaving_? Leaving leaving?"

"I don't have a choice, Lisa. I have to stay away from anyone who could get hurt. I have to get out of here, and I can't come back." He looked away, cursing his clogging throat. "You should forget I ever came here again. I wanted to tell you in person; you deserve at least that. It's the only reason I came back."

Lisa threw back the covers and climbed quickly out of bed. "What are you talking about? You can't just_ leave_. What about Ben?"

"I'm _thinking_ about Ben," he said quickly, jaw clenching.

"Dean, it can't be that horrible. We'll figure something out."

"I don't think you understand just how serious all of this is. I haven't had time to _make_ you understand. But it doesn't matter any more; you should forget about all of it."

"What if I don't want to?" she shot back.

Dean dug the key out of his pocket. "Fine. Remember. I don't care one way or the other, but I'm leaving." Part of that was a lie. He did care. He just wasn't sure which he wanted her to choose. He tried to offer her the key, but she held up her hands and backed away from it as if it were about to bite her.

"No!"

"Fine." He turned quickly and slapped it down onto the top of the dresser on his way back out into the main room. He had to get out of here before he was tempted to change his mind.

Lisa followed him. "Dean, stop!"

He stopped only a few feet short of the door, but only turned halfway around. He couldn't look at her, or he would stay. "If you have anything else to say, say it." There was a long pause, and out of the corner of his eye he could see her shifting uncomfortably on her feet.

"I love you, damnit," she choked finally. "I told myself I would be _careful_, since I had Ben. I promised myself I would always take everything slow after he was born—that if he was ever really going to have a father, I'd be sure it was the right man. I resigned myself to the fact that I would probably have to be with someone for _years_ to sure. It took a while to accept, but I've been all right with that for a long time.

"Then you showed up two months ago, and I was open to the possibility of giving you a chance. I knew you were a good guy, but I didn't expect it to feel so right so _quickly_. I never thought it could happen like that, but it did. It's right. Didn't you feel it?"

He thought he had. He'd wanted to. He wanted it to be right. Maybe in any other circumstance, it would be more than right. It would be perfect.

But it didn't change the fact that he was a hunter, and they were helpless civilians. He wouldn't be able to protect them. Something could always happen.

Hell, something had happened here two years ago, before he'd ever become involved with them. What were their chances if he stayed here?

Dean's jaw worked. "What I felt doesn't matter. I can't put you in danger anymore, and that's all there is to it. I'm sorry." His voice dropped. "Tell Ben I'm sorry."

He was out the door before Lisa could say anything else.


	10. Chapter 10

Well it's been a little busy around here, getting ready for school, but here ya go! :) I can't wait to hear what ya'll think, so go read and enjoy. Thanks!

Chapter 10

Bobby didn't really see Dean, once it was all over. The boy called, but he didn't come back—or he hadn't yet, and it had been several weeks now. He called every now and then, but really only enough to say he had.

Dean was hurting. That much was clear. Bobby knew that he'd left the Braeden's again, and didn't plan on going back. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was what he thought was right and it was no use trying to talk to him about it. He wouldn't listen. He was back on the road, hunting small game again and not seeming to really appreciate the fact that the war was over.

They'd never gotten a chance to celebrate.

Bobby wished he knew what to do about it, but if the boy wouldn't listen he wouldn't listen. It had dragged on like that for the last several weeks.

Then Bobby got the phone call.

"_The bastard had a mate_!"

"What?"

"_The vampire! The one I killed outside Chicago a few months back_."

Bobby sat up quickly from where he'd been slumped at his desk. "What?" he repeated. "Are you sure? How do you know; were you attacked?"

Dean snorted. "_Not directly. The bitch broke my window and left a picture on the driver's seat of the two of them. These two were so old it's not even a photograph; it's a copy of a picture of a damn painting_."

He scowled to himself, mulling over that. "Why the hell would a vampire do _that _when shecould have just attacked you?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "Dean?"

When the boy's voice came again, it wasn't calm. "_Bobby...I think she's after Lisa and Ben. There's nothing written on this picture but for one word on the back: Cicero_."

Bobby winced. "That's where they live."

"_Damn right it's where they live, but how did it know that? Could it have tracked me there already_?

"If she's as old as you're making it sound, she's had a lot of time to practice. She very well might have."

"_Damnit_!"

He hesitated before he asked the next question. "Are you on your way there?"

"_Of course I'm on my way there_." Dean told him where he was.

"That'll take you almost as long as it'll take me. Don't stop. You get there, and I'll raid a morgue and get going myself."

Dean let out an unsteady breath. "_Thanks, Bobby_."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

The young blond woman who knocked on the door seemed normal until—until she slammed Lisa into a wall and kicked the door closed behind her.

The first thought that went through Lisa's mind was Ben...where he was, what he was doing, if he was safe. _Then _she wondered what the hell was going on.

"Where's the boy?" the woman demanded.

"W-what are you talking about?" Lisa asked quietly. She would have loved to be louder—firmer, more confident—but the woman had an arm on her throat.

"Cliche lies bore me. I've _seen _the boy—your son, I assume. He lives here. Where is he?"

She'd seen Ben? Who was she? What did she want? And how was she strong enough that even with only the arm at her throat and the woman's other hand clamped around one of her arms, Lisa felt as if she couldn't move at all?

"I don't know." That much was the truth. She wished she did. He could only be in his room, or the back yard, because he hadn't asked to go out to the park, but she didn't know _exactly_ where he was right this moment.

One look at the woman's eyes, and Lisa decided that was a good thing. Somehow she thought the woman would know if she were lying.

"Well I suppose we'll just see." The woman grinned, and for a moment a grotesque set of thin jagged teeth descended in front of her others. Then they were gone again, and she sighed. "I _do_ wish I could kill you know, but it would be so much more satisfying to wait."

Now Lisa knew _what_ the woman was. She wouldn't give the thing the satisfaction, but inside she screamed.

* * *

The lights were still on in the Braeden house, and somehow Dean hadn't been expecting that.

Of course, he didn't expect to run into Ben in the bushes out back, either.

"Dean!"

"Ben! What the—heck are you doing out here?" he stage whispered.

"Something's in there," the kid answered anxiously. "It's got Mom. It looks like a woman, but it had teeth, and I was in the back yard and it didn't see me. I was gonna go for help, but I didn't know where to go, and—"

Dean grabbed him by the arm and pulled him further away from the house and any possibility of being seen from a window. "It's okay. That's why I'm here."

Ben scowled. "But just because killing bad stuff is your _job_."

"Well yeah, but—"'

"But nothing. You left, just like they all do."

Dean grimaced. They didn't have time for this now. "Look, we can talk later, okay? How long has the thing been here? Where's it keeping your mom?"

Ben crossed his arms and sighed. "They're in the living room, just sitting there. It's been here for about an hour or so, I guess. What_ is _it?"

"It doesn't matter; I'll get her out of there."

"But—"

Dean bent lower. "Ben, now is not the time to argue, okay?" He pointed back the way he'd come. "Go between those two houses right there, and my car is parked on the street on the other side. I want you to go get inside, and stay there until somebody comes to get you. Can you do that?"

"But it's _my_ mom. I want to help."

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt!" Ben just stared at him, and he let out a breath. "Please just go to the car."

The kid swallowed and nodded. "Okay."

"Good; get going."

"You'll get her out?"

Dean nodded back. "I promise."

"Good." Ben hugged him quickly. "I'm...glad you're here."

Dean squeezed briefly and gave him a good push in the general direction of the hidden Impala. "Go on."

Ben went, and Dean crept closer to the house. It wasn't long before he could see into the living room, and saw what he expected. Lisa was perched tensely on the edge of an armchair, while a tall blonde paced the room nearby.

That would be the vampire.

God, would that ever _not_ sound hokey?

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket. It was Bobby. "When the hell are you gonna be here?"

"_I was calling to let you know I'm about ten minutes out_."

"Thank god. The vamp's here all right, and it's got Lisa."

"_What about Ben_?"

"He wasn't inside when she showed up; he's safe. I sent him to the car. I'm still outside, but if you're almost here I'm goin' in."

"_Be careful._"

He quietly closed the phone and shoved it back in his pocket, and glanced at the machete he'd dropped when he turned around and ran into Ben. Well...if he was going in, he'd have to leave it there.

Dean made sure that they didn't see him until he wanted them to—the moment he slid open one of the glass patio doors. He was still across the kitchen from them then, but they both looked up, Lisa more slowly than the vampire.

"I take it you're looking for me?"

The blond smirked. "You could put it that way."

Lisa was giving him a clear _What the hell are you doing?_ look as he crossed to the living room, but he focused on the vampire. It was easier not to give anything away that way.

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't know the thing had a mate," he smirked.

The vampire snarled.

"Oh, excuse me: guy. But most guys don't live three hundred years, so you can see where I might have gotten confused. You vamps are usually pretty big on the revenge thing, though. Shouldn't he have been telling me how you were going to hunt me down and suck all the blood from my carcass while I was chopping his head off?"

"It's easier to take revenge on an unsuspecting enemy."

Dean crossed his arms. "Huh. Really. So you're a coward."

He'd been expecting some type of reaction—even a loud and/or violent one—so he wasn't quite surprised to find himself pinned to the wall a moment later. "Okay, I think you can get off me now," he coughed. "Look, I'm here, so let her go."

The blond shook her head,m gave him another good shove back into the drywall and backed away. "I don't think so."

Dean regained his footing and grimaced. "Why not?"

"You killed my husband," she growled. "We'd been together for _two-hundred-and-fifty years_. I hope you didn't think I was just going to let that go. No...you're going to pay through the nose before I let you die."

"Wow, really? You can make money come out people's noses? Sounds like a neat trick; I might actually want to see that. I could always use a few extra bucks anyway. Not sure I'm so hot on the whole using _my_ nose thing, but..." There was the _What the hell?_ look from Lisa again, and she still hadn't said anything. This time he realized that she didn't look so good. The smirk faded and he frowned instead.

The vampire realized where he was looking and turned to yank Lisa's hair back from her face.  
Lisa yelped, and that was when he saw the blood on her neck.

"You bitch—" Dean surged forward, but the blond had pulled a gun from her belt and rested the barrel against Lisa's temple before he could get very far.

"I'd be much happier if you didn't make me do this; blood tastes better fresh."

Oh god. That was why she hadn't moved much, or said anything. She was pale, and looked ready to tip off the edge of the chair. That was why. The bitch had already taken blood.

He stopped, glaring intently. "What the hell do you want?"

"Before we can get this little party started, I want the boy."

"What boy?"

"Please not that excuse again," the vampire sighed. "I don't know what he is to you—or her, for that matter, but I know they both live here and your scent is all over the house. Whatever they are, they matter to you. That's the point."

"And apparently you plan to kill them no matter what I do, so why should I tell you a damn thing?"

She sneered. "If you'll tell me where the boy is, I might consider making all of your deaths a little more humane."

"Might. Really. What a great offer," he deadpanned.

The blond looked at him for a moment in exasperation. "Fine then. I promise. _Tell me where the boy is_. If you'd be so kind, I'd like to get this show on the road."

"You really like all these fun modern cliches, don't you old woman?"

"What?" she snapped, glaring.

Lisa was staring at him, begging, but she didn't have to. Over her shoulder he could see Bobby slipping in the side door in the kitchen carrying a loaded crossbow.

"Sorry. I meant no thanks."

Bobby fired, and the arrow plowed straight into the vampire's back. Lisa screamed, and after staggering once the blond spun to fire behind her. She only got off two shots that Bobby ducked away from before she slumped to the carpet, motionless.

Lisa stared, hanging on the arm of her chair.

Bobby hauled himself to his feet and brushed drywall flakes from his shirt. "Dead-man's blood."

"It's...like poison to them," she said slowly.

Dean stepped over the unconscious vampire to sit on the edge of the armchair beside her. "Yeah...you remembered." She shrugged weakly. "You okay?" Lisa let out a breath and leaned into him, shivering.

"I'll live...won't I?"

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Yeah. You'll be fine, but we should probably get you to a hospital. You may need blood."

"Ben..."

"He's fine. I ran into him outside, and he's waiting in my—"

"Mom!"

Dean twisted, and Ben was running in through one of the sliding doors. "Ben, I thought I told you to wait in the car!"

"Hey, I still stayed out of the way, didn't I?" He swept in and hugged his mother. "Mom, are you okay?"

Lisa pulled away from Dean only enough to embrace her son, and Dean kept an arm around her to make certain she stayed upright. "I'll be fine," she sighed, holding Ben tightly. "Thank god you're all right."

"Yeah, mom. I'm fine..." He let go and glanced at the woman on the floor. "So...what is it?"

Dean and Bobby glanced at each other, and at Lisa.

"Come on, guys. I'm ten now. I saw the teeth earlier. Is it like, some kind of whacked-out vampire or something?"

Lisa hesitated for a long moment and then cleared her throat. "Uhm...apparently it is, sweetheart."

God bless the kid, he didn't just shrug it off. "Oh," he said, a brief flash of alarm crossing his face. "Wow."

"Don't worry about it, Ben," Dean added quickly. "There's not a whole lot of them anymore, and this one's down for the count. You're safe now."

"Good," Ben sighed, smiling. He nodded and started to help Lisa up. "What are you doing?"

"We need to get your mom to the hospital."

Lisa grimaced as Dean supported her. "Are you sure? How are we going to explain this?"

"It's been done."

"But—"

"Just take it easy, okay? I want to make sure you're all right. I'll stay with Ben until they let you go; I promise."

"And then you'll leave again?" she mumbled.

Dean let out a breath. "Can we take this one step at a time?"

"I'll just...take care of this..." Bobby trailed, motioning to the vampire. "Maybe I should go get your car for you first, though."

He pulled his keys from his pocket with his free hand and tossed them.

* * *

The hospital was just like any other he'd ever been in—cold, white, and annoying. There were too many people, sick people, and he'd never liked being there. It didn't help that he was usually the one in the bed. That wasn't fun, either.

But this time it was Lisa, and it was his fault.

She'd needed some blood, but not as much as he'd been afraid of. The doctor wanted to keep her overnight, but that was all. He might have kept her longer, but he probably found the whole thing just a little too strange. He hadn't seemed to quite buy the dog excuse.

Ben was conked out on the empty bed in Lisa's room, and Dean was about to fall asleep in the chair beside her bed. That alone was enough to make him wonder why he'd left. The only two people in his life he'd ever cared about enough to hold bedside vigil for before now had been Sam and his father. He _had _done it, more than once for both of them—never for anyone else.

But it was _because_ he cared about them that he'd left, wasn't it?

"Dean?"

He started and straightened a little. "Lisa. Hey...you're still awake." He'd been pretty sure she was on the way to sleep.

She looked him in the eyes, through whatever was left of the mild drugs she'd been given. "Are you leaving again?"

Oh.

Dean huffed and looked away. "I don't know."

Or had he just been afraid that something like this would happen? Well, he'd left and it had happened anyway.

"You don't have to."

"Lisa, you just saw what could happen if I stayed. I went on all of three or four hunts while I was staying with you guys, and that was enough for one of them to end up coming back to bite _all_ of us in the ass. This could have ended much worse."

"I know..."

"Then why do you even _want_ me to stay?"

She looked at him for a long moment. "Because I love you."

Damnit...why did she have to do that?

Dean swallowed. "Is that more important than keeping Ben safe?" he asked quietly.

Lisa shifted onto her side a little more, to look at him better. "From what I've seen, he would never be safer with anyone else."

"Well...of course I'd never let anything happen to him, but there would be danger to protect him from that I'd bring _myself, _and...I'm not perfect." Sam. "Lisa..."

"I remember everything you've told me about your brother."

"Then why is there any argument? I should stay away from you guys. Now that this vampire bitch is out of the way, nothing should ever bother you again." He was talking in circles. He knew it, but he didn't know how to break the circle. He understood where she was coming from...but the problem was that it all made sense both ways.

It was just that...after Sam...no matter how much Dean tried to believe that it wasn't his fault, even if it was true the feeling would always be there.

He didn't want to take that chance again.

"I have to protect you," he said quietly.

Lisa held out a hand and he tentatively took it. "But I want you to protect us a different way. I want you to do it _here_. Doesn't that make more sense? Whether you stay or not, there will always be things out there, and Ben and I will always _know_ they're there."

"And I'm sorry about that. I really am."

"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to stay."

He wanted to. It was only his conscience he was warring with.

"Lisa, I...I can't promise anything."

"Then don't promise, if you can't. Just say you'll try." Dean let out a heavy breath. "If you don't think staying is the best thing for us, then...do it for yourself. For what you do, I think you deserve it."

He grimaced. "That's debatable."

"Dean..."

"All right. I'll try. No promises, but...I'll try—if you're sure you want me back," he smirked.

"I'm sure."

"Then...we'll try."


	11. Chapter 11

Here ya go! I couldn't figure out exactly how I wanted to do a few things in this chapter, so sorry that it came a little slower. Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoy it, and please do review if you like it, so I know ya'll are still around. Thanks so much! :)

Chapter 11

Dean paced in the foyer for what seemed like hours before he made it out the door. He'd just gotten back to the house, but Lisa and Ben weren't here. The van still was, which meant they were probably just down at the park. Normally that would be fine.

Today though, he wasn't sure he could make his legs work for that long.

With late February snow still on the ground there was no soccer or basketball. Instead the pastimes in the park included sledding, snowball fights, and snowman building. It was Saturday, and the park was full of bundled-up children and mothers huddling on benches or taking refuge in idling vehicles.

Lisa was one of those braving the cold—not huddling on a bench, but strolling the salted sidewalk. Granted, the salt wouldn't really be needed much longer, as it was starting to warm up, but it was there just the same.

Dean zipped his coat, wondering why it suddenly didn't seem heavy enough. The lighter jacket, long-sleeved shirt, and t-shirt underneath should have all worked together to keep him warm enough, but today it wasn't working. Maybe he needed to get over the whole macho thing and buy gloves...maybe some kind of hat.

God, his birthday was coming up in two or three months, wasn't it? Not only thirty; he'd be thirty-one. But that wasn't old, was it? Cas, Sam, Bobby...all had been trying to tell him that he still had a whole life ahead of him.

But he _felt _old. After everything he'd seen in his life, he felt old, in general.

He always felt a little old, but today he felt young. He felt young and old all at once, and it was confusing as hell, but for some reason he loved it. Felt invigorated.

Today something would change. He didn't know quite how just yet, but it would change, and however it went Dean knew one thing for certain: It was time to get his life going again, one way or another.

Lisa turned when he wasn't far off, and her eyebrows went up. "Hey...I was just about to come back to the house; you didn't have to come out here."

"Yeah, well I wasn't sure when you'd be back, so..."

"There wasn't a note because I didn't think you'd be back so soon. I thought you went on a hunt."

"I did," he said seriously. It was true, too—sort of.

"But you just left this morning."

"I left pretty early."

"Dean," she huffed.

He shrugged. "It didn't turn out to be anything dangerous."

"Meaning there wasn't really a case?"

"Sure," he said evasively. "Look...we need to talk."

Lisa grimaced. "Yeah...I guess we do."

Dean frowned. "Why the face?"

She let out a breath and looked away, tightening her folded arms. "I know what this is about. It's been five months, Dean. I guess I hoped, but...I don't think I could have really expected you to just hang around forever."

"Who said I'm just hangin' around? I _like _it here."

Lisa smiled and looked up at him again. "I know that, and I know we love it that you _are _here, but...we can't just keep going like this," she shrugged.

Dean looked at her intently. "No, we can't." Oh god, could he do this?

Her shoulders dropped, but she kept the forced smile. "Right.."

He nodded slowly. "Because Ben's ten now, and he'll be a teenager in a couple years, and that'll probably be harder to handle and all, and the whole instability thing probably wouldn't be good for him..."

"No, not really."

Dean swallowed hard...and chickened out. He took the roundabout way instead. "Right, so...even though I actually _would_ be happy to just keep sticking around like this—to help out with that, you know—it'd probably be better if I could maybe, ah...be there in some kind of more official capacity..."

There, damnit. It was out.

Sort of.

Lisa blinked at him. "What?" Something in her eyes told him she'd at least begun to understand what he meant, but she needed convincing that he was serious.

He let out a breath and fished in his jacket pocket. "Look, you know I'm not the mushy down-on-one-knee type guy, and I don't really do anything the traditional way anyway, so I figured I'd do one thing 'right,' per se..." Dean pulled the small box from the pocket and opened it.

It wasn't horribly expensive and it wasn't big, but it was real, and Lisa just stared.

Dean frowned. _I screwed up again. She doesn't want to do this. My one chance, and somehow I screwed it up; I always screw it up. My _life _screws it up. _

"Lisa?" he asked tentatively.

"You want to marry me?" she whispered incredulously.

_There it is; she thinks I'm crazy._ Why the doubts, he didn't know. Hadn't things been going spectacularly well recently? But the doubts were there just the same. Dean grimaced and started to pull back. "It was just a stupid idea..." he muttered.

She stopped him with a grip on his wrist that kept him from shoving the now-closed ring box back into his pocket. "Wait."

He stared at her. "What?"

"You want to marry me?" she repeated.

He hesitated a moment. "I...yeah," he said finally. "Yeah, I do. Believe me when I say if I'd told myself about this only as much as a year or so ago, I would thought I was crazy, but...yeah. I do."

"But...why? What about hunting?"

"I'll still do that. I know you've dealt with it okay since I've been here, but if you don't think you'd be okay with that long-term..."

"No, it's not that. I just wanted to know."

"Oh, well...you know."

Lisa nodded slowly, still staring at him. "And we'd live...?"

"Here is fine; I don't want to mess with anything. You guys have a life here, and I want you to keep it. I just want to, you know...be part of it. If you want me."

A smile crept back onto her face. "Of course I want you.

He smiled back and tugged her closer by the hand she had on his arm. "Yeah?"

She nodded once, firmly, and grinned up at him. "Yeah."

Dean kissed her, but before he'd really gotten into it the doubts attacked again. His head jerked back and the insecurity that was rarely seen by anyone tumbled out in a string of sentences.

"And it really doesn't have to be a big deal, I promise. You, me, Ben, a judge, and two complete strangers for witnesses, if you want. You don't even have to take my name or anything. Hey, I'm modern; whatever you wanna do."

"Dean."

"Of course, if you _want_ a wedding or whatever, I guess that's okay too, as long as it's not that huge, but I'm not really sure who we'd invite. I don't really have a lot of friends, and even fewer would actually come, though I guess both of you guys have friends, and there's your parents."

"Dean."

"Wait, even if we did it the simple way we'd have to invite _them_, and Bobby would probably want to come, even if it was just a judge or whatever—but you just tell me, you know, what you wanna do. I'm open—"

"Dean, shut up!"

He blinked. "What?"

Lisa laughed and pulled him closer. "Shut up and kiss me."

"Only if you come up with a more original line next time." Then Dean did, but again only for a moment before he pulled back again. "Wait, shouldn't I give you the ring _before_ I kiss you?"

She looked up at him in amusement, arms still around his neck. "I thought you didn't do things the traditional way."

He shrugged. "That doesn't mean I can't."

She chuckled and pulled back enough to give him her left hand. "Then have at."

Dean wanted to, but suddenly the scared-shitless feeling came back.

"What about all those reasons you had for leaving the first two times?" Lisa asked quietly, echoing his thoughts.

He took a deep breath and finally smiled again. "To hell with those," he answered. And he finally meant it.

Dean was able to open the box then, and...slip the ring onto Lisa's finger. But he didn't let go of her hand; he held on, just looking at it.

"What?" she asked in amusement, even though she was looking at it, too.

"Just trying to make sure I really just did that, I guess." Sam wouldn't have believed it. _He_ wouldn't have believed it not that long ago.

And they weren't even at the proverbial altar yet. He wondered how long it would take him to get used to _that _when they got there.

But it was going to happen.

She squeezed his hand. "How's this for proof?" She tugged him down again and kissed him good and long, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"That'll work," he said, smiling against her cheek.

"You didn't really have a case to check out, did you?"

"Sure I did; it just happened to be at the mall," he chuckled, grinning before he kissed her again.

A chorus of child-sized 'eewww's and laughter rang out across the park as Ben and some of the others caught sight of them. One young voice Dean hadn't heard before—it could have been the kid from the new family two blocks down—came out above the rest, or maybe it was just what he shouted that stood out.

"Aww man, dude, do your parents have to do that in public!"

* * *

They told Ben as soon as they'd herded him up and gotten him back to the house, and the kid was ecstatic at the news.

"Seriously? So that means you're not leaving again?"

"Just to hunt the bad stuff."

"Well, yea; you totally gotta do _that_. I means besides that."

"No, I'm not leaving again; looks like you're stuck with me forever," Dean grinned. "Try not to be too disappointed."

Ben hugged him tightly. "Are you kidding? This is great! I've never had a dad. I mean, you've been a lot like one being here and all, but I didn't know how long you'd stay or anything...and now I _know_ you're staying, and you're gonna be married to my mom, so—that's a dad, right?"

Dean saw Lisa open her mouth as if to keep her son from going on, but Dean waved her off. When Ben let go of him he sat on the couch he was already next to and tugged the boy down beside him. "Yeah...I guess it kinda is," he answered slowly.

"I mean, I won't call you that if it'd, like, freak you out, and I like calling you Dean anyway, Dean, but I was just saying, you know..."

"It's okay; I get it." It scared the crap out of him, but he got it. He'd known this deal came with Ben, too, and he was just as happy about that part...but it still scared him a little.

Okay, a lot. Because Ben was right.

"Get what part?" the boy asked.

Dean took a deep breath. "You're right. I guess I will kinda be your...dad, if you want that."

"Of course I do!" Ben piped up quickly. His voice dropped as the early pre-teen shyness of emotions kicked in. "If I was ever going to have a dad, I'd want it to be you."

Lisa hadn't moved, and Dean exchanged a glance with her. Nothing seemed to indicate she had any objection to any of this, so Dean swallowed and answered.

"How about this? Let's stick with 'Dean' at least until your mom and I are married, and...if you want to try, you know, something different later, then...I guess we'll see how it works."

"Sure," Ben nodded. "I'm cool with whatever. I mean, it'd be sweet to have somebody to call 'Dad' and all, but just being one is plenty. I'm cool either way." But Dean could see how much the kid really wanted the whole package.

"I know you're cool, but like I said—we can try it," he smiled.

Ben grinned pack. "Cool." Then he hugged him again, and Dean held on as he looked at a smiling Lisa over the kid's shoulder.

He couldn't settle between feeling the terror, the joy or the incredulity.

He was getting married. He was going to be a father, for all intents and purposes, and it all scared the hell out of him.

It was perfect, but it wasn't.

Sam wasn't here.

* * *

_Cas, hey. Where you coming from in such a hurry?_

**There is good news.**

_Yeah, I saw. Dean's getting married. *chuckle* Who'd have thought, huh? But I'm happy for him. He deserves this._

**Of course. I am satisfied with this development as well, but that is not the news I bring.**

_It's not?_

***actually smiles a little* This is better, Sam.**

_What could be better right now than Dean engaged?_


	12. Chapter 12

Still not over! There's another chapter or two coming, at least, and I'm already planning a third installment. :) For now though, enjoy this chapter, and please do let me know what you think so I know ya'll are still reading. Thanks so much! Sorry this took so long; there was school work (ugh) and a church retreat, and I think I caught something out there...

Chapter 12

The fact that Dean Winchester had showed up on his doorstep unannounced was not unusual. After the death of his younger brother this old place had become as much _his_ home as it was Bobby's.

What had Bobby staring in shock were the first words out of Dean's mouth.

"I'm getting married."

He had to blink a few times before he could answer that one. "Excuse me?"

"I'm getting married," Dean repeated. "To Lisa." he didn't seem to quite believe it himself.

"You're serious?"

"Oh yeah...I'm serious. I uh...I don't think I've ever been more serious in my life."

All right...so it wasn't completely unexpected. Bobby knew he'd been in Indiana with the Braedens this past several months, but this was still more than a bit sudden.

He moved aside to let Dean in, and closed the door behind him. "So...are you telling me you've already asked her, or that you're planning to?"

"I already asked her, she said yes...so here I am," he shrugged, tossing his arms out wide. "Go friggin' figure, right?"

"Just a little," Bobby snorted. He shook his head, "But this is good, Dean. Really. This is really good."

Dean grinned—something Bobby hadn't seen a lot of in the past three years. "Yeah, I know. It is." The smile faded. "I just wish..."

"I know."

The boy stared at the floor for a moment. "He said something about sorta being able to see what's going on down here...so I guess at least he'll know," he said quietly.

Silence fell, until Bobby cleared his throat. "So what the hell are you doing here? You should have just called me; I'd have come whenever you needed me there."'

Dean looked up again and shrugged. "You're really the only person I've got to tell, and I figured you deserved to hear it in person. Besides...that being the case, hangin' out here for a couple of days is really the only bachelor party I'm gonna get."

Bobby resolved then to make the best of this. No, Sam wasn't here, and he knew that was painful for them both. But it was the best thing that had happened in a long time, and he refused to let it pass without the fanfare it deserved.

"Are you kidding? Just because I'm all ya got and I ain't as young as I used to be doesn't mean we're just gonna sit around here like old geezers. You tell me the date, and we'll do it up right the night before."

"Well we don't exactly have a date...Lisa's parents are coming down from up-state as soon as they can, and she's got two or three close friends that apparently have to be there. As soon as we can get them all together we're just gonna head to the courthouse; that's all."

"That's it?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at him. "Bobby, do I _look_ like the cute-little-church-wedding kinda guy?"

Bobby smirked a little. "I guess not."

"I'm just glad she went with that. If she'd really _wanted_ a wedding I don't think I could have said no to her, but I'm definitely much happier this way."

"As long as you're happy."

"Bobby, I swear, if you get mushy on me I will be all _over_ kicking your ass."

He chuckled. "Come on; I'll get you a drink."

* * *

Lisa had said her parents should arrive at the end of the week, so Dean figured they had two or three days before they should head back to Cicero. That day it was already late and Dean was tired from the drive, so after Bobby had grabbed him a beer and promised again that they were going to do this right over in Indiana before the big day, the older hunter retreated to let Dean crash.

He would have fallen asleep immediately, content, if it weren't for the fact that the dark clouds that had seemed to follow him the last fifty miles here quickly developed into a violent thunderstorm. He drifted in and out, but kept waking to the crashing thunder and bright cracks of lighting flashing in through the window of the room he used when he was here.

Sometime in the middle of the night he woke again, and the sounds of the storm seemed to be beginning to settle.

That, and the phone was ringing.

Dean stayed where he was, figuring Bobby would get it, but no-one did. Finally he dragged himself out of bed and across the living room, noticing even in through the darkness that Bobby had gotten up at some point to unplug everything because of the storm.

He reached the doorway to the kitchen and reached blindly around the corner to snatch up the shrilly ringing phone.

"What?" he muttered gruffly.

It was then that he saw the flash of lightning out the back window, and Dean only had a split second to wonder why Bobby hadn't unplugged the phone as well, and why the hell he'd answered it in the middle of a thunderstorm—especially with Bobby's old wiring.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! Should have known..._

It was like being cracked over the head from out of nowhere, and everything was white, and the floor was coming up to meet him.

He didn't remember hitting it.

* * *

Dean didn't remember hitting the floor, he figured later, because mentally, at least, he was elsewhere by then.

It was that damn motel room again.

"Oh, come on! Cas, what the hell?" he yelled, twisting to find the angel.

He found Castiel all right, but he also found Sam.

He blinked. "Sammy?"

"Hey, Dean," his brother smiled.

Dean looked back and forth between his brother and the angel. "What now?"

"There is nothing to fear. We bring only good news," Cas answered.

"Like what?"

"We saved the world, Dean. Did you think there wouldn't be some kind of consequence?" Sam asked.

He snorted. "Saved plenty before and didn't get squat; why would I be expecting anything _this_ time?"

His brother shrugged as if he didn't quite understand the answer himself. "I don't know...but we're getting something."

"Our Lord wishes to reward the both of you for what you have done," Cas said.

Dean let out a breath and swallowed. "Look...if Sam has to stay up there and all...I don't want anything. I have Bobby and Lisa and Ben and my job. That's all I need."

Sam grinned unexpectedly. "We know that. Apparently that's why this is happening now, and not before—you needed to learn to be all right without me."

He scowled. "Huh?"

His brother glanced at Castiel, and the angel gave a slight nod of his head for him to go on.

"I'm getting a second chance, Dean. I'm coming back."

Dean stared. "What?" It was barely audible.

"I'm coming back."

"Y-Yeah, I got th—Cas? What...?"

"It was the plan from the beginning. Not even I knew it until now, but it was always the Father's intention to return Sam's life at the right time."

"The right...?"

"Sam learned what he needed to learn when he changed his past and sacrificed his life for you and for this world, but you still had your _own_ lessons to grasp. Now you understand them. Now you are ready."

He was trying to wrap his mind around it, trying to be happy, but he couldn't quite catch on. "So...what do you mean by come back? Please don't tell me this is some cheesy rebirth thing, because I will walk out of here right now. Not sure I know how I'd get out, but you get the idea..." Sarcasm, his old fall-back—always a close friend.

"No, Dean," Sam shook his head, grinning now. "I'm coming back just like this; I'm picking up where I left off—or where I'd be now if I _hadn't_ left off, I guess you could say. The age difference will be the same..."

Dean's hands came up in defense of his aching brain. "Whoa, slow down. I'm still absorbing the you're-coming-back part." This had to be a dream. He wanted more than anything for Sam to be there when he got married, and he was imagining it all. That was it. He'd never gotten up, and he'd never answered the phone, and he hadn't been shocked lighting through that same damn phone. It was too friggin' cliché.

But even in his mind he'd never been able to conjure that smile he missed as well as he wanted to—the one he was looking at now. Maybe his subconscious did remember better than his conscious mind did, but could even his subconscious—a dream?—make the joy in his brother's eyes so real?

"So you're serious?" he asked incredulously, leaning on the table behind him. "You're coming back? Like...now?" He couldn't quite accept that this was real just yet, but the question couldn't hurt.

"I'll be there when you get back."

Cas stepped up to him, and the corner of his mouth quirked up a little as he looked at both brothers. "I wish both of you happiness in the time you will have." Then his hand came up, and Dean realized what he was about to do.

"Wait—!"

But the angel's palm touched his forehead, and everything went dark.

* * *

"Dean! Dean, are you all right, boy? Answer me. Dean!"

His eyes snapped open, and slowly he realized that he was on the floor, sprawled in the doorway between the living room and kitchen. "What...?"

Bobby was leaning over him. "Dean?"

"Yeah..."  
"What happened to you?"

He glanced to his right and saw the handset of the phone still in his hand, the cord the of the old thing trailing up to the counter. "I answered the phone, and there was lighting..." He started to sit up, and Bobby helped him. He expected to be sore, feel fried, _something_...but he felt fine. Maybe a little dizzy, disoriented, but fine.

"I'm okay, I'm okay..." Bobby let go when he waved him off, and the older hunter stood to look on the counter.

"I was sure I unplugged this thing. I heard it ring and came out here just now figuring I'd forgotten about it—but I don't understand; I _remember_ disconnecting it."

Dean blinked up in confusion, starting to remember what had happened while he was out. "Hey...did you see the lighting?"

"I saw it, all right. I guess that's what laid you out. You're lucky you're okay; scared the shit out of me when I saw you go down. It looked like a pretty nasty shock.

He looked down at his hands, his arms, and felt the side of his face. There was no trace of any burns, or of anything. "Bobby...where'd it hit?"

"Out back. I think it was just the other side of the trees."

"Other side of the trees?" he echoed, pulling himself to his feet. He leaned on the counter for a moment, and everything else filled in and became clear.

Cas. Sam.

"Sam!" he breathed.

"What?"

Dean didn't take the time to answer as he bolted for the back door.

"Dean, hold on! We should get you to a hospital, just in case!"

"I'm fine, Bobby!"

"How the hell would _you_ know?"

"I just do, okay!" The screen door slapped behind him, and slapped again when Bobby followed him.

Dean didn't know what he expected to find. He wasn't sure he believed what he remembered himself—until he came around the trees.

The rain itself had long since stopped, and what was left of the clouds only emitted weak flashes of lighting as they rolled away. The line of trees where Dean stopped was still in the reach of the street lights that lined the salvage yard, but the grave sight was not. In the near-darkness there all he could make out at first was a silhouette where the grave had been.

Had been. There was nothing there now but charred ground and the scorched pieces of the wooden cross that had stood there, and the figure there now was staring down at the spot, oblivious to anything else.

Bobby stopped beside him. "What the—"

"Sam..."

His friend looked at him like he'd lost his senses. "What?"

"That's what happened when I blacked out just now...it was Cas. And Sam. Th-they said said he was...coming back..."

"You're not serious."

"No, I didn't think so; I thought I was crazy, but..."

They both looked again, and finally the figure turned and Dean realized he would recognize that freakishly tall shape anywhere—the one that started toward him immediately.

Bobby stayed rooted where he was, but Dean was moving before he realized he'd told his legs to work, and even though neither of them really ran (because that just would have been cheesy) it was still like being hit by a car when they met—maybe because they didn't pause, or maybe because he was still in shock, or maybe just because the relief took his breath away.

All he knew was that his little brother was in his arms returning his embrace just as tightly, and for several long minutes he couldn't breathe.

"Sammy..." he gasped finally.

His brother pulled back just enough to look him, still gripping Dean's arms. There were no tears on his face, but they were in his eyes, and he grimaced to hold them back as he coughed out one sob. "God, it feels good not to have to work to be able to do that," Sam swallowed, squeezing his brother's shoulders again.

Dean echoed the single sob and clapped his brother's cheek once before pulled Sam into his arms again. "You're here..."

"Thank you, captain obvious," Sam chuckled quietly.

"So I'm not crazy."

Sam squirmed his way back enough to see his brother's face again, but he couldn't escape Dean's grip entirely. He didn't seem to want to, which was perfectly fine with Dean. He didn't want to let go yet.

"No, you're not crazy."

"So...you're staying? For good?"

"I'm here for good, Dean."

He had to tighten his grip on Sam's arms to keep from doing a face plant.

This was real? Sam was here? _Alive_? No strings...no trick?

Dean didn't realize he was breathing too hard and staring out of focus at the ground until Sam shook him. "Dean, hey! You okay?" he asked anxiously.

He swallowed and looked up, smirking. "Please tell me this threw you for as much of a loop as it's throwing me."

Sam grinned then, that boyish grin that had always made it impossible to be angry with the kid, no matter what he'd done—the one he'd nearly sold his soul three years ago to see one more time.

The one he had back now because he hadn't.

"The first time Castiel came to me about it, yeah, it did," Sam laughed.

Dean just grinned back and tugged his brother into another embrace.


	13. Chapter 13

Definately not over yet! :) Got a few chapters to go here, and I finally started that Gilmore Girls story. Anyway, I hope ya'll are still around. Please do review if you're liking it, so I'll know, too, if anyone would be interested the third installment i'm tentatively planning.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and have a good weekend! Thanks so much!

Chapter 13

When Dean eventually let go Sam did too, reluctantly, and realized that Bobby had finally come closer—waiting over Dean's shoulder as he stared.

"So...Dean wasn't pullin' my leg," he said quietly.

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Not at all." In seconds Dean was all but pushed aside as Bobby pulled him into a brief but tight embrace. He quickly let go again and composed himself, but he was smiling, and the there were tears there even if they refused to budge from his eyes.

"It's good to see you," the older hunter swallowed.

Dean smirked and clapped a hand on his brother's arm. "You look good, too. A considerable improvement over last time we saw you, thank god."

"That's what heaven's for, I guess."

Thunder rumbled above them, and the remnants of the clouds began trickling a drizzle of water. Dean scowled and glanced up. "We should probably get inside."

It took a little re-explaining, to make certain Bobby understood what was going on, but Sam didn't mind. He was just glad to be on Earth again.

Well...he was glad to be with Dean and Bobby. Earth wasn't so great on its own. But that didn't matter.

"So what do you remember, exactly?" Dean asked eventually. "I've heard so much about the limitations of the physical human mind I want to throw up, so...anyway, what'd you come away with, anyhow? You can't remember everything both ways either, can you?"

He'd been expecting the question, and he'd been trying to formulate an answer. Sam and Dean were sunk into the couch in the living room—much closer than their egos would have allowed them to sit at any time he'd previously been alive—and Bobby was perched on a chair he'd pulled out from his desk nearby.

"It's a little complicated..." Sam trailed.

"Figures..."

He shrugged. "No, I can't remember everything both ways, and I don't, but I don't remember everything the same way you do."

He remembered that in a way it had been hard to choose, but in the end it had been no contest.

"So what do you remember, then?"

"I remember everything the way it was the first time, until Cas helped me go back and change it. You know what happened there."

Dean grimaced, not really wanting to remember Cold Oak any more than Sam did. "Yeah."

Sam let out a breath. "So yeah...I remember going back, leaving once you'd made up your mind, and...going to heaven from there. I only remember the time up there from the point I went back from on—a little less that a year, I guess, and even that's fuzzy. I'm human, and heaven is so different, so..."

"So you can't really tell us much about it," Bobby gathered.

"Right."

Dean snorted. "Guess that figures, too." He glanced at his brother more hesitantly this time. "What about, uh..."

"I remember coming to talk to you, and I remember everything that happened with Lilith," he said quietly.

"Damnit..."

"Like I said, everything from the point I came from I remember. It's only heaven itself that's fuzzy—kind of...paraphrased in my head, I guess you could say. The only things I don't remember are what happened those first twenty-one months I was gone—everything that has two versions. I can only have one version of those memories while I'm human."

Dean frowned in confusion. "Then why...?"

"Everything that's happening now wouldn't make much sense to me if I only remembered being dead the past three years. It's all right; I know what's happened down here in the past several months or so that I remember of being up there, so I know plenty enough to get what's going on this time around. Besides..." He shrugged, looking at the floor for a moment. "I didn't want to forget the last couple of years we had the first time."

He felt his brother's eyes on him, and after a moment looked up again. Dean and Bobby were just looking at him.

After a moment Dean swallowed and clapped him on the back. "Hey, that's cool. I mean, if _you _remember you can tell us about it, right?"

Sam smiled. "I could. You'll remember too, though—you know, on the other side."

Dean grinned in return. "Yeah, but this way I don't have to wait." He raised an eyebrow. "Unless you're not gonna tell me."

"I'm not sure how much of it you'd want to hear," he winced.

"Come on; it couldn't have been _that_ bad or you wouldn't want to remember."

He opened his mouth and closed it again, thinking again before he answered. Finally he smiled again, an image of Dean belting out Bon Jovi in the Impala flashing in his memory. "Yeah...it wasn't all bad."

It would be a little strange, being here with Dean when Dean didn't have those twenty-one months of memories...but he could deal with that. What he didn't think he could deal with was not having them himself. Maybe he wouldn't know exactly what he was missing, but he hadn't been lying—nothing would make much sense without them. Dean didn't have that disadvantage.

Dean was still smiling back, happier than than Sam had seen him a long time—or seen personally, anyway. He was pretty sure he'd been that happy a few days ago when he'd gotten engaged.

He wondered when Dean was going to mention that.

Bobby was grinning a little too, but they both stared at him when his stomach rumbled loudly. Sam glanced down.

"Right...I need food now, don't I?" he smirked.

Bobby chuckled and got up to head for the kitchen. "Let's get you something to eat. It's almost time for breakfast, anyway."

Dean slapped him upside the back of his head as the brothers stood to follow.

"What the hell was that for!" Sam protested.

"Three years on the other side and you're still a dork."

"Thanks a lot, Dean. You're giving me real confidence in the whole leave-heaven-to-be-with-my-brother decision."

"Hey, you knew what you were getting into. Me means the whole package."

"Would you boys pipe down for a second?" Bobby called. "Sam, what do you want? As far as breakfast food goes I guess I've got just about everything..."

Even after the time, Dean was still able to answer on top of him, echoing Sam's requests, maybe just to prove he still remembered his brother's favorites. Sam couldn't help but grin again.

It was all there. The whole situation was more than strange, but strange they were used to. Even with the lost time and the difference in memories, the foundation was all there. Dean was still Dean, and Sam was reasonably sure he was still himself—maybe even more himself than what he'd become by the time Castiel had helped him go back to fix it all.

The foundation and all of the old pieces were there—along with a few new ones. Maybe it would take a little time to get it right, but all they had to do was re-build it.

That was something Sam was sure they could do.

* * *

It hadn't gotten any less strange or become any less of a wonder three or more hours later, when breakfast had been slowly made and leisurely eaten. Bobby hadn't had any more thoughts of going to bed than Dean did, but the older hunter had fallen asleep in an ancient armchair in the living room where they'd moved back after eating, and Sam and Dean were left to clean up the kitchen.

That didn't bother Dean like it would have in any other instance. It kept Sam right there, almost never even out of arms' reach, always within' sight.

It was real. He was here.

He was _alive_.

Sam was here, and he was washing the damn dishes like he'd never left.

Finally normal just seemed too normal, and once the rest of the leftovers were wrapped and put away Dean tried to grab the plate Sam was scrubbing from his hands.

"Come on, put that down. You just got back; you shouldn't have to do the annoying stuff."

Sam shrugged, refusing to let Dean take it. "It doesn't seem so annoying to me. It's almost kind of fun."

"Washing dishes?" he scoffed.

Sam smiled. "I've been in heaven, Dean. There's no need to do anything like this. So it's...real, I guess. It makes being here seem more real, and I guess I need that right now. I know how it sounds, but just humor he, okay?"

Dean watched him for a moment. "Okay." To be honest, it helped _him_ the same way. He grabbed a hand towel and started to dry the dishes Sam set in the dish drainer, stacking them up on the counter to be put away as soon as he reached a stopping point.

It took a while, but finally he manage to pose the next question that had been on his mind about of this.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Dean?"

He hesitated. "Mom...and Dad..."

"I saw them there," Sam filled in uncertainly, not knowing what his brother wanted. "Everyone was there."

"So I guess they're doing okay then."

"It's heaven."

"Right, and...they can see what's going on down here?"

Sam was still washing the pan in front of him, but he was listening. "That too."

He took a deep breath. "So I guess you know what happened before you uh...got here. Or did you?"

His brother seemed to suddenly be smothering a grin. "Yeah, I know."

Dean let out the breath. "Thank god; It's still too weird to say out loud too often."

Sam laughed and stopped, letting the pan rest in the soapy water in the sink and turning to his brother. "What, that you're getting married?"

"Yeah...that one..."

"What are you talking about? That's great."

"Everybody _says_ that, but you of all people have to know it's just a weird concept to think about when it comes to me."

Sam shrugged and leaned on the counter. "Maybe it is a little...different, I guess, for you, but I've seen you with the Braedens, Dean. I know you can make it work; you love them both."

He sighed. "That doesn't mean nothing will go wrong."

"Something can always go wrong, Dean. Welcome to Earth."

"Hey, that should be _my_ line right now."

Sam smiled a little, and for a long moment they just looked at each other, neither of them saying a word. The damn tears that had been attacking Dean outside came back, but he refused to let them free this time, either. He wasn't a friggin' girl; only girls cried over the happy stuff.

Right?

"It's really good to have you back," he said finally, and smirked to diffuse the awkwardness of the emotion. "You have _no_ idea." To avoid his brother's gaze he turned and started in on putting away the dishes that had already been dried.

"So uh...you're okay with this whole me-getting-married thing?" he asked eventually.

Sam had slowly gone back to washing the pan in the sink. "I'm _more_ than fine with it as long as _you're _sure. I want you to be happy. You have to stop worrying about it; it'll be fine."

That was certainly possible, of course. It was just that it was hard to believe that after all the crap over the years. Sam knew that.

"I know, I know..." Dean trailed off. "Hey, you're real now; you've got another chance at all this now, too," he realized suddenly. The thought was comforting—Sam being able to have a family. He'd always thought that if either of them really deserved that, is was Sam.

Sam had just set the pan in the dish drainer, and paused in reaching for another plate. Slowly his arm dropped again and his hands braced on the edge of the counter, and the frown on his face was disconcerting.

"Sam?"

Damnit. Had he already said something wrong? Barely six or seven hours and he'd screwed something up. Wasn't that just peachy?

"Sam?" he asked more anxiously.

His brother let out a breath, but he didn't look up. "Dean...I'm here for you. Not for that."

Dean stared, swallowing at the pang in his chest. "What the hell does _that _mean?"

Sam didn't quite look at him, but he turned toward him a little more. "It _means_ that I love Jessica, and she's waiting for me."

"But...you're gonna have a whole _life_ down here before you end up in heaven again, if I have anything to say about it. Doesn't she want you to be happy?"

"Of course she does; and being here with you and Bobby and doing the job again, seeing you get married and have a family...that's all I need. I _will_ be happy. I _am_ happy."

That should have made him feel better, and maybe later he would accept it. Maybe Sam was right, and he just didn't understand...but right now it didn't help much at all. The ache in his chest didn't ease.

Sam was alive, and Dean wanted him to have everything.

"But you—"

Sam seemed to anticipate what he was going to say. "That was before I died."

Dean had to blink again, because this time the stinging in his eyes had nothing to do with happiness. "Sammy...you had her up there. Damnit, I never would have wanted you to give up something like that just to freakin' keep me company..."

Of course, having Sam here was much more than that, but...

His brother finally looked at him.

"Dean, it's okay. Life is about give and take, I guess. Maybe I have to wait again, but in exchange for that I get to be here for you—for the family you'll have. And in the long run, when we've been there for a few thousand years, a few more decades here and not with Jessica isn't going to mean much. I have eternity to be with her."

Dean pulled a face. "I just...I don't want you to be here if you don't want to be." It hurt to say it, because he would give anything to keep Sam here...

But on the other leaf, he loved his brother more than anything, and he _wouldn't_ keep him here if it meant keeping him miserable. He was sure it would break his heart into irreparable pieces if he had to let go one more time, but he would do it for Sam.

Sam's eyebrows went up. "Don't think that. I don't want you to _ever_ think that. Of course I want to be here."

"You're sure?" He knew Sam loved him. They weren't the type to say it, but he knew it. Still, it didn't stop Dean from wondering if Sam would really be happy down here. He knew he should trust his brother, accept it, but still he worried.

Part of it was because he cared, and maybe the rest was, again, because of all the crap from the past.

"Of course I'm sure," Sam answered earnestly. He grimaced sheepishly, almost apologetically. "Sorry...I guess one thing I did take away from being dead was a better understanding of time...how short it is. Maybe being human will make it seem longer while I'm here, but thirty or forty or fifty years really isn't that long compared to eternity. I promise you I'll be fine."

It all made sense. It all made perfect sense, if thought about from the right perspective. The uneasiness was still there, but maybe time would help that.

He should be focusing on the good things here, Dean thought as his brother gave him a reassuring smile. It was believable enough, and he smiled back.

Sam was alive.

They could worry about the rest later.

As crazy as it seemed, Sam was alive, and Dean was getting married in a few days. For now, that was more than enough.


	14. Chapter 14

Her ya go, and please do review if you're still around. Thanks so much! Enjoy! It's not over yet. There's one more surprise for the end... ;)

Chapter 14

When Sam got out of the shower later that day there was no one in sight. Then Dean stubbed his toe on something, or at least that was what Sam assumed his brother had done when he heard the howl and following shout across the house.

"Damnit, Bobby, when are you gonna de-clutter this place!"

"You practically live here, and _you _don't help!" Bobby called from somewhere upstairs.

Sam followed Dean's voice to the back of the ground floor, and found him in an unused bedroom full of...stuff—storage. He was behind a stack of boxes, and Sam could only see one foot and the back of his head as he apparently bent over to rummage through something.

"Dean, what are you doing?"

"You're gonna need more clothes, genius. All your stuff is back here somewhere."

His eyebrows went up. "You didn't get rid of it?"

There was silence for a moment, besides the shuffling and scraping from the other side of the boxes. "No, I didn't get rid of any of it. I didn't wanna see it, but I didn't get rid of any of it."

Sam didn't know how to respond to that. He stood where he was, listening to the rummaging sounds until they stopped.

"Yahtzee! Sam, you still there?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Dean's head suddenly appeared as he stood. "Incoming!" He tossed Sam's old duffel bag over the boxes to him, and he almost took it in the face before he caught it.

"Yah! Right, thanks."

Dean came out, brushing dust from his clothes. "Welcome. You'll probably wanna wash those before we head to Indiana, though."

"When would that be?"

"Day after tomorrow, probably."

"How do you plan to explain this to Lisa?" he asked.

Dean winced. "In a way that _won't_ make her run the other way screaming?"

"_When_ do you plan to explain this to Lisa?"

"I haven't figured that one out either..."

Dean didn't say anything at all to Lisa until he was on his way to Indiana two days later with Sam and Bobby. Bobby was following in his own car, so Sam was the only one staring at him—or trying not to—when he answered her call.

"Yeah, we're on our way. We'll be there tomorrow."

"_You and this Uncle Bobby I've heard so much about_?"

"Yeah, me and Bobby. I'm ah...I'm bringing someone else too, though."

"_Like who_?"

"That's kind of hard to explain."

"_What the hell does _that _mean_?"

Dean let out a breath as Sam gave him a _what are you doing?_ look. "I'll explain when we get there. Just trust me; it's nothing you need to worry about."

There was a pause before she answered. "_If you say so_..."

He smiled to himself. "Thanks."

She sighed, something crossed between amusement and a touch of frustration. "_You're welcome. Have a safe trip, then. I love you_."

"Yeah...I love you, too." Dean had hesitated, but only because he was still getting used to saying it and realizing it was true. Having to overcome his default macho attitude didn't help, either.

Sam was smirking when he closed the phone and pushed it back into his pocket. "What?" he demanded.

"I just never thought I'd ever see you seriously tell a women that, that's all."

"If you make a big deal out of it, I swear I will send you right back to heaven," Dean shot back seriously.

Sam laughed, settling back into his side of the front bench seat of the Impala. It was crazy how much of a relief it was to have him there.

It was crazy, too, how it didn't really feel strange, even after leaving that seat deliberately empty for three years. It was just...right—like he'd never not been sitting right there, where he was supposed to be.

"Now you're the one staring, Dean."

He blinked and refocused on the road. "Sorry."

"So you've _met_ her parents, right?"

"I thought you saw everything."

"I don't remember all the details of _everything_ that happened down here..."

"Whatever you say," Dean smirked. "Anyway, yeah. I met them. They came down for a couple days over Christmas. They're nice people, but completely clueless. We plan to keep them that way if we can help it."

Sam smirked. "How is that going to work with me here?"

He shrugged. "They don't really know much about me. All I'll have to explain is why they didn't know I had a brother." Dean didn't think he meant to, but Sam grimaced a little at that. "Hey...don't take that the wrong way. There just, you know, wasn't any reason to tell them about my past, if we weren't going to tell them all of it. I didn't wanna have to make up lies about what happened to everybody, so...I just didn't mention it."

"It's okay. I understand."

And he seemed to, but that didn't keep the uncomfortable silence from falling.

Dean cleared his throat, but before he could say anything Sam jumped in volunteering information on his own.

"Hey, I met Dad's parents up there."

His eyebrows went up. "Seriously? Man, I know I saw them a few times when I was like three...you know, before the fire and all...I don't really remember much though."

Sam laughed. "Mom says when each of them got there they didn't know _anything_. She had to explain it all—show them what was really going on down here. Even though they were right there in heaven it apparently took them a while to get used to it all."

"I bet. What about Samuel and Deanna? Do they remember me? Not that those are really _pleasant _memories, but..."

"Yeah," Sam winced. He looked away for a moment "They remember. Even though he was possessed at the time, Samuel remembered you telling him who you were...so they both knew when they got there. They said they've been keeping an eye on us all from day one...and in heaven people still pray, too. They prayed for us."

Dean blinked a few times. "Huh..." he muttered in wonder.

"That was pretty much my reaction."

* * *

Dean hadn't realized part of him was still unsure about all of this until they pulled into the Braeden's driveway the next evening. He realized then that he had been uncertain because the uncertainty was abruptly gone.

It disappeared when seeing the house gave him a sudden feeling of _home_.

He hadn't had a home in a long time, besides Bobby's house, and before that really nothing since Lawrence. But he realized now that he really did feel at home here. He'd missed it. He'd been away less than a week and he'd missed it.

God, the feeling was so strange.

But not unwanted.

"Sit tight; I'll come get you when, you know..."

Sam got comfortable in his seat and nodded. "Yeah."

When Dean climbed out he realized Bobby had gotten out too, but he was hanging back by his own car and seemed content to stay there while Dean took care of what had to be done first.

He would have done it inside, too, but before he'd taken two steps the front door smacked open and Lisa flew into his arms.

"There you are! You're late," she complained good-naturedly.

Dean caught her, her feet coming off the ground when she all but jumped, and he spun halfway around before the energy she'd used in throwing herself at him was expelled and he could set her down again. He happily accepted the kiss she offered before he replied.

"Hey, I had Bobby following me and he insists on driving at safe speeds; I couldn't get here as fast as I usually do."

She glanced over his shoulder at the older man back by the other car. "So that's Bobby?"

Bobby nodded to her from where he stood, and she smiled back.

"Yes it is, and _that_..." He directed her attention momentarily to the Impala, were Sam waved tentatively from inside. "Is going to take a little explaining."

Lisa held up a hand in something of a wave, but quickly dropped it and turned back to Dean in confusion. "Who is that? Old friend? Long-lost cousin I didn't know about?"

Dean opened his mouth to jump right into the explanation he'd carefully planned, but something occurred to him and he detoured. "Where's Ben?"

"Ben?"

"Yeah, you know, that short male offspring of yours."

She couldn't help but smirk at that. "My parents took him out; besides Christmas he hasn't spent a lot of time with them in a while."

"So he's not here."

"No..."

"Oh." He let out a breath. "I guess I'll just have to go through this again later."

"Go through _what_ again? What is it?"

"Okay, uh...you remember that whole big thing with Sam and that demon a few months ago? Saving the world and all that jazz?"

Lisa frowned. "Of course I remember it; that's what made you run off. Why?"

"Well, I didn't think anything was gonna come of that...besides having a somewhat safer world with Lilith gone and all, but...I was wrong."

"Wrong?" she echoed. "Wrong how?"

"Wrong as in something _did _come of it. Don't ask me to explain why it's now, and it didn't happen before, because I'm not quite sure I understand it myself, but something happened. Apparently uh...God, I guess, decided to give us something for, you know, saving the world..."

"You and...Sam?" she asked, glancing back to the Impala.

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "Me and Sam. He let Sam come back."

Lisa turned back to stare at him for a moment, wide-eyed, pulled away and turned again to stare through the Impala's windshield, crossing her arms tightly. "Wait, so that's...?"

"That's my brother," he nodded.

Her back still to him, she sucked in a sharp breath and still stared. "Oh..."

Dean winced. "Look, I'm sorry...I know I've put you through a lot, and you've been great with it all so far...but people coming back from the dead _is_ kind of a big thing..."

"Oh yeah, it's big," she huffed, voice a little higher than usual. She was still staring at Sam, and poor Sam didn't seem to know whether to look back, look away, or hide. Bobby had that concerned look on his face that suited him so well.

Lisa abruptly focused her attention on the ground instead, and for a while she was silent. Finally she looked up again and the tension in her hunched shoulders eased as she uncrossed her arms.

"Lisa?"

"I'm waiting for him to get out of the car introduce himself," she said finally. It was her _this is insane, but with you I'm used to insane and I'll be fine, I swear_ voice, and when she glanced back at him to give a reassuring smile, though the expression was still a little nervous, he knew she would be.

He had to stop underestimating her.

Dean saw Bobby grin, and he smirked to himself and waved to his brother in the Impala. "Sam, get your ass out here!" he chuckled.

Sam climbed out of the car slowly, looking almost sheepish as he came up to Lisa. "Hi..."

She was the first one to hold out a hand. "Hi."

He smiled and shook it. "I'm sorry about all of this too; it must be weird for you."

"Well, then it's a good thing I am now well-versed in weird."

"I guess you are." Sam grinned over her shoulder at his brother, and Dean could read the expression as easily as words.

_She's a keeper, Dean._

* * *

With Lisa's parents staying in the guest room, all three men would be in a motel until the wedding, and Sam and Bobby soon left in Bobby's car to find a couple of rooms somewhere and give Dean some time alone with Lisa before Ben and the grandparents returned.

"I met Lisa the first time around," Sam commented on the way back. "I liked her then, and I like her now."

Bobby nodded as he drove. "I'm glad _something's_ working out for that boy."

"I'm just glad to see him happy. I know I had to do it, but even in heaven it was hell watching him go through what he did after I died..."

"I was there," he grimaced.

"I know...thanks for being there for him," Sam said quietly.

"As if I had a choice? You boys are family to me."

Both of them lapsed into silence for a while, until Bobby cleared his throat.

"Dean really loves those two—Lisa and that kid. He _was_ happy before...I know he would have been fine, but no matter what those angels or God or whoever says, I still think there was something missing without you—something he's got back now." He hesitated. "For me, too."

Sam's mouth opened a little, but he didn't know what to say.

"I'm glad you're back, son," Bobby said finally, eyes focused firmly on the road.

His eyes felt damp again, but he smiled a little. "Thanks, Bobby."

* * *

Dean and Lisa had been content on the couch for long enough that he didn't notice her staring up at him at first.

"What?"

She gladly settled closer into his shoulder. "You're happier."

"Happier than what?"

"Than when you left. I mean, it's obvious why...you have your brother back."

"Yeah," he smiled. "I'm pretty happy about that myself." He kissed her forehead. "But I don't want you to think I wasn't happy before."

Lisa grinned as she twisted to face him a bit more. "Oh, I know you were." She gave him a real kiss. "But you're even happier now, and I'm glad for it."

"I've been here all of two hours and you can already tell a difference?"

She shrugged. "It's just...something about you."

"I'm not even gonna _try_ to figure that one out."

"Don't worry about it; it's a good thing. It makes you more attractive," she told him micheviously.

"And here I thought that wasn't possible."

That was when the front door opened again. "Come on, hurry up! Dean's back!" Ben's voice echoed from the foyer. Dean and Lisa disentangled themselves and stood by the time he came around the corner into the living room, Tom and Sherry Braeden not far behind.

Ben ran to Dean and hugged him. "All right! Let's get this party started," the kid grinned.

Dean laughed. "That's the spirit."

"It's good to see you again, Dean," Tom nodded.

He nodded back. "Sir, ma'am."

"Dean," Sherry smiled. She looked around. "Weren't you bringing that older friend of yours from South Dakota?"

"Ah, yes ma'am. He and my brother are on their way back from getting us a couple of motel rooms. They'll be here soon." Ben looked up at him quickly, and Dean shot him a clear _I'll explain later_ look.

"Oh, you have a brother? I don't think you mentioned that before," Sherry commented.

Dean shrugged. "He's kind of been away for a while..."

"Oh, well, I'm glad he could make it then."

Ben grabbed Dean's arm. "Yeah yeah, that's great. Come on, Dean; I want to show you something in my room." Without waiting for a response he pulled a willing Dean into the hallway and to his room.

"Nice acting..." he muttered.

"What's going on?" Ben asked. "You said something about a brother once, but I thought you said he was kind of...dead."

Dean nodded and lowered himself into the desk chair. "Well...he was." How the hell was he supposed to explain this without mention of the whole save-the-world thing?" Ben didn't know about that, and Dean didn't really want him to.

"Okay, now you lost me."

"It's hard to explain, but...somebody decided to let him come back."

"Somebody like God?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. That's what a friend of mine said, but I've never seen him."

"Dude, of course you haven't seen him. He's God."

Dean's eyebrows went up. "You believe in God? Not that it's a bad thing; I'm just curious."

Ben sat down on the edge of the bed. "I don't know. I mean...someone had to have brought you to us."

He'd never thought of it like that.

"So this means I get a dad _and_ an uncle out of this deal?" the kid grinned.

"Two uncles, if you count Bobby. I think you'll like them both, too. Sam is all kinds of cool, and maybe Bobby can be an old coot sometimes, but he's pretty awesome himself."

Ben was still smiling. "Sweet. Man, I think I'm gonna like our family."

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "Me too."


	15. Chapter 15

Here ya go! There'll be at least one more chapter, so stick around, but this is the big one! Prepare for epicness, I hope, lol. ;) Have fun! I can't wait to hear what ya'll thing. Thanks so much!

Chapter 15

They hadn't yet gotten Sam a working cell phone, but Dean called Bobby's to give his brother the heads-up that Ben and the elder Braedens were back, and the situation had been explained to the boy.

"How'd he take it?" Sam asked anxiously.

Dean chuckled on the other end of the line. "_I love this kid; it doesn't bother him_."

They weren't far from the house when he hung up, and minutes later Sam and Bobby were ringing the doorbell.

It was Ben who opened the door.

"Hey..." Sam began uncertainly.

The boy blinked up at him, and Dean appeared over his shoulder a moment later. "Ben...this is Sam and Bobby."

Ben nodded slowly and motioned at Sam. "Yeah, I figured; I was just re-absorbing the whole he-used-to-be-dead thing."

He winced and exchanged a glance with his older brother, who sent one back that assured him everything would be fine. _Just give him a minute_, the look said.

"So you're going to be my uncles, huh?"

Now Sam and Bobby exchanged a glance.

"If you want to put it that way," Bobby shrugged.

"It's nice to meet you, Ben," Sam offered. "We've heard a lot about you."

The kid smiled, but Dean was backing out of the way. "Hey, you wanna let them in? It's cold out there."

"Right! Sorry." Ben moved to let the other two men inside, and Sam and Bobby quickly made use of the door and shut it behind them.

"You good?" Dean asked of the boy.

"Yeah, I'm good. It's kind of cool, actually." After another moment he held out a hand for Sam and Bobby to shake, and quickly turned to drag them out to the living room. "Come on; you have to meet my grandparents!"

* * *

Dean paced the motel room like a caged animal, tugging unconsciously at the neck of his suit. "What the hell am I doing?" he complained nervously. "Getting _married_? Am I insane? I can't get married!"

"Yes you can," Sam assured him, stopping him in mid-stride and turning him around to make sure everything was in place. Apparently Dean hadn't straightened his tie to his brother's satisfaction, because Sam began to work on fixing it. "At least you're in a suit, not a tux, and there's no church, no annoying music, and no crowds of people throwing rice in your face. You'll be fine."

Dean pulled away and fixed the tie himself. "I blame you for this."

"Go right ahead."

He let out a breath. He couldn't be aggravated with Sam no matter how much the butterflies in his stomach wanted to find something to lash out at. He was sure the ability to be utterly frustrated with his little brother would return soon enough, but it hadn't been long enough just yet. He was still just glad to have him back.

"Whatever...I'm ready." Sam had _been _ready, and Dean pulled on and buttoned his suit jacket and was done. "Let's get this show on the road."

Sam grinned and clapped him on the shoulder as they made their way from the room. Bobby was already out by the cars.

"Took you buys long enough."

"Nervous groom," Sam smirked.

Dean shot him a withering look. "Hey, the hangover doesn't help, either." He turned his gaze on Bobby. "That, of course, I blame on _you_. You're the one who decided we had to 'do it up right,'" he snorted in good nature.

"You were having fun last night," Bobby countered with a chuckle.

"Next time don't let me have so much fun."

Sam grabbed his arm and steered him toward the Impala. "We can argue about that later; you've got an appointment to make."

"And isn't _that_ the freakin' understatement of the century..."

But by the courthouse came into sight, he was fine. Sam was right. He wanted to do this. It was the first time he'd been so sure something was right in a long time.

Dean glanced at his brother before they got out of the car. "I'm glad you're here," he blurted.

Sam smiled easily. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

"Would have found a way to be here either way, huh?"

"Oh, you bet."

* * *

The dress wasn't white, and it wasn't a wedding dress at all, but it became clear to Sam from the moment the Braeden clan climbed out of their own vehicle that Dean still couldn't take his eyes off of Lisa. He barely managed to spare the other three a glance, though he was more successful with Ben than with the parents.

The boy was pulling at his collar.

"Not fond of the whole suit thing?" Dean asked in amusement.

"Not really," Ben admitted.

"You and me both," he chuckled. He pulled Lisa into his arms.

"You ready for this?" she asked.

"I have no idea," he admitted.

Sam clapped his brother on the back. "Let's go, Romeo." They all headed up the steps, and Ben, who seemed to have taken a liking to both of his soon-to-be uncles, fell in beside Sam and Bobby and left Dean and his mother alone for the time being.

"I wish they weren't gonna run off on us right after this," he complained.

"It's a honeymoon, Ben. That's normal."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's fine. You and Bobby are sticking around anyway, right?" Ben asked eagerly.

Sam smiled. "Bobby might have to get home, but I don't think _I'm_ going anywhere."

"Thank god. I love grandma and grandpa and all, and I'm glad they're staying at the house with me until Mom and Dean get back, but they could stand to be a little more interesting," he answered in a low voice.

Bobby leaned in from behind. "Then I guess I'm hanging around, too."

Ben grinned back at him, and Sam gave him a meaningful look. "Didn't quite think we'd ever be _here_, did you?" he said quietly.

"Not in the slightest," Bobby smirked.

Dean looked back, just before they all went inside, and something in the way he stood holding the door made it clear that everyone else should go on in. They did, leaving him to his brother.

"Dean?" Sam asked gently.

"Nothing, I just..." Dean looked at him for a long moment. "Well what am I _supposed_ to say? I don't think anything really cuts it."

"Dean..."

"Thanks. Thank you...for everything. I mean, hell, you were trying to look out for me when you were _dead _and you're not even the oldest."

Sam swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat and shrugged. "You're my brother," he said, as if that explained everything.

And it did.

Before he could consider how Dean might respond, Sam had been pulled into warm embrace that he willingly returned. When they let go Sam smiled and nodded toward the door. "Come on; they're all waiting."

Dean looked at the door. "It's not just gonna be us anymore."

"No...but that's okay as long as we _have_ us."

Dean grinned back at his brother. "Yeah...that works."

* * *

A few of Lisa's closer friends were back at the house setting up something of a small reception, and it was all very nice but Dean would have rather been sweeping Lisa to Impala and getting out of here.

"Sam's back, which means we _are _taking my car, and you don't have to sit in the back," he'd told her. That had been two days ago, when they'd been alone after he and Sam and Bobby had arrived from South Dakota.

"I assume that means he doesn't mind."

Dean had winced. "He never would have minded. That was all me."

Lisa had kissed his cheek and nestled close. "It's all right; I understand."

God, he loved her.

They'd stayed long enough for decorum soon enough, and they were changed and the bags tossed in the back of the car before he knew it.

"It seems fitting," Lisa said as they made their way to the car.

"What does?"

"Marrying you and being allowed to ride in this car for the first time, all on the same day," she answered, as he opened the passenger-side door for her.

Goodbyes had been said inside, and the family and friends stayed back by the front door, ready to wave when they pulled off. Dean spotted his brother leaning on the door frame, hands in his pockets and smiling. He waved once to Sam, who waved back, and Dean couldn't help feeling the miracle again that he was there at all.

Dean swallowed and turned back to...his wife. He motioned inside the car, as she hadn't gotten in yet.

"After you, Mrs. Winchester."

Lisa smiled and planted a good kiss that turned into a production, bringing claps and cheers and whistles from the small crowd by the front of the house. Then she climbed in, and Dean went around to get in himself—but not before locking eyes with his brother one more time. Then he was in, and they were leaving.

When Dean looked in the rear-view mirror as they pulled away, Sam was crying.

* * *

He'd felt like doing it all day, but Sam had never meant to cry.

He was happy. Dean was married, and he was happy for him, and he couldn't have asked for more. For those reasons alone his throat had been clogged since that morning. It was only natural, he supposed.

But when they left, when they left and they were so...perfect, so happy,something snapped inside him and it really didn't even have a thing to do with them.

He really was happy. Sam had never lied to Dean. Being here really was enough. He would be all right; he _wanted_ to be here, to live life with Dean and Bobby and this new family that he supposed was now his two.

But that didn't mean he didn't miss Jessica.

Sam didn't know he'd been followed back inside until Ben's voice came from behind him. "Hey...Sam? Are you okay?"

He reached up to swipe quickly at his face even though he didn't turn. His other hand gripped the back of the couch because he might not have stayed upright if he didn't hold onto it. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing"

A week seemed like a long time without Dean, but it was good to have the time to spend with Bobby, to know him again, this time around. They both spent time with Ben, too, sometimes including his grandparents. The elder Braedens couldn't be excluded; after all, they would all be present at many holidays together, from now on.

It was such an odd feeling, having an entire family that he knew he'd be seeing, that would be around. Not all of them really knew each other yet, but they would get there. It was the kind of new beginning he'd never thought the Winchester brothers would ever have, but here they were.

* * *

Dean called his brother the first chance he got, but Sam denied that anything was wrong. Dean wasn't inclined to believe him; those hadn't looked like happy tears, and he'd turned away back into the house much too quickly.

Whatever it had been, Sam seemed all right now and urged him to forget about it and get on with his honeymoon.

Dean was only too happy to oblige.

The week was over much too quickly, but still, he was eager to see his brother when he and Lisa finally made it back home. He wouldn't be so certain Sam was all right until he saw him.

Everyone was at the house to greet them when they returned, and Dean didn't really get a chance to talk to his brother until Bobby and the elder Braedens had cleared out, all headed for their respective homes. Bobby was the last to go, and after seeing him out the door Sam went back to the kitchen table and picked up the newspaper he'd apparently been reading before.

He seemed fine, which made Dean feel better, but there was still a matter that needed to be settled.

Dean came up behind, glancing over Sam's shoulder. "Lookin' for something to hunt already? Look, I promise we'll get back out there again—just you and me; it'll be great—but give me a few days at home first," he smirked. It still felt strange to say, but he didn't mind that anymore. Maybe someday it wouldn't be so weird.

Sam's eyebrows rose as he looked up. "Yeah, we'll hunt, but I'm looking for a place to _live, _Dean. With you here I'll need a place nearby, and I can't stay in that motel forever."

Dean dropped into the opposite chair. "Well you _could_, but that wouldn't be any fun. Or maybe it would; kinda like the old days, minus me."

"I'll probably have to figure out a way to get some kind of vehicle too, since you'll have the Impala here with you..." Sam mused, looking back to the newspaper.

"Dude, chill out. You're staying here."

"I am?" he asked skeptically, glancing up again.

"Of course you are. You haven't even been back long enough to have your own fake credit cards; what else are you gonna do anyway?"

Sam frowned. "Are you sure that wouldn't be weird?"

"Why would it be weird?"

"You talked to Lisa about this?"

Dean stood. "Yes, I talked to Lisa about this. Come on; let's go get your stuff."

Sam let out a breath and stood with him. "Fine; I guess that makes sense until I _find_ a place..."

"Sam, quit with the place. You don't need a place; you have a place."

His brother stopped and stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"When I said you were staying here I meant you're _staying_ here, dude."

Sam blinked. "Dean, I can't do that."

"Why the hell not?"

"You're talking about _living_ here?"

"Into the foreseeable future, yeah. Why?"

"I can't do that," Sam repeated.

"And I repeat, why the hell not?"

Sam must have realized Lisa and Ben could probably hear them, wherever exactly they were, because he grabbed Dean's arm and pulled him out the kitchen door to the back yard.

"Dean, listen...You're trying to start a family here, and I—"

"Exactly," Dean nodded. "Sam, you're _part_ of this family."

"So are Bobby and Lisa's parents, but they don't _live_ here!"

Dean huffed. "Why are you trying to fight me on this? Lisa and I talked about it, okay? We both want you here."

Sam chewed his lip. "I'm just not sure that's the best thing here..."

"Sam, look, I appreciate your willingness to not get in the way and let me have my own life and all, but you don't have to do that. We want you _here_."

His brother appeared to be considering—he had that deep thinking face on—and that was when Lisa followed them outside. "Anything wrong?" she asked.

"Please tell him it's okay for him to stay here," Dean said immediately.

"Wouldn't he believe you more easily than he'd believe me?"

"Apparently not in this case."

Still looking a little bewildered, Lisa turned to her brother-in-law. "Dean's right, Sam. We discussed it while we were gone; we want you to stay here."

Dean spread his hands. "See? Exactly what _I _said."

Sam looked at them for a long moment. "You're sure?"

"Yes, Sam. We're sure," Dean sighed.

The glass door opened again, and Ben stepped outside with them. "What are you guys all doing out here? What's going on?"

Dean glanced at Sam, who smiled and nodded once. Dean grinned and leaned down closer to Ben.

"Well, it looks like your Uncle Sam here is gonna be living with us."

"Seriously?" The kid looked back and forth between the adult for confirmation. When he found nothing in the negatory, he grinned in return. "Awesome! And how hilarious is it that I actually have an Uncle Sam?"

They all chuckled, but Sam laughed out loud. "Don't worry. Just calling me 'Sam' is just fine."

Dean clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Let's get going and check you out of that motel. I'll get whatever's left of my crap out of the guest room and you can have it. Though I guess that means it won't be a 'guest' room anymore..."

* * *

Just as Dean had promised, they hunted, and when it was just the two of them on the road it really did seem like old times. It seemed like nothing had changed. There had been no Ruby, no angels, no Lilith, no separate timelines. Just the two of them and the Impala and the road and the evil sons of bitches they killed.

But in Cicero there were Lisa and Ben and a home.

The best of both worlds.

Maybe they were all tempting fate...but what did it matter anymore? If fate always won, Sam wouldn't have been there at all and Dean wouldn't be married in the first place.

* * *

Ben's eleventh birthday party six months later was just as big as celebrated as the last, and having more than just a mother and friends to share it with seemed to make him happier than he'd ever been.

Dean, being himself, gave his step-son a BB gun.

"He asked Lisa about that first, didn't he?" Bobby asked.

Sam chuckled quietly. "I made sure he had before I went with him to pick it out."

"As long as he plans to teach the kid how to use it right..."

"He's Dean; of course he will. Knowing him, that'll be his favorite part."

"True."

Lisa emerged from the house carrying a fresh tray of food in each hand, and Sam and Bobby watched in amusement as Dean swept in to take them from her.

"Hey, let _me_ know next time you need something else brought out here," he complained.

"Dean, I'm only two months pregnant; I'm not quite helpless," Lisa protested with a smirk. She let him take one of the two trays, and they both moved to bring their loads to the table.

Dean looked a little sheepish as they set them down. "Hey, I've never done this before."

Lisa curled her arms around him. "Well I have—when I was twenty-one and clueless, no less," she assured him, glancing over to where her son was playing with his friends. "If it turned out so well then, I'm sure it'll be just fine this time. Besides, now I have you," she smiled, and kissed him. "That's enough. No over-protectiveness needed."

Dean just looked at her for a moment. "I love you."

He said it so easily now. It was hard to understand, sometimes, how Dean could be finally back to his old self and yet completely different all at once.

But it was all good.

Sam smiled to himself and stopped watching when the two of them went back to kissing, and Bobby seemed done with the scene himself.

"I've seen enough," he chuckled. "That boy is going to be just fine." Bobby looked at him after a moment. "What about you?"

Sam glanced at Dean and Lisa again, and scanned the crowd of children for Ben, who he found attempting to hit on the girls in the moonbounce. The boy spotted him looking, and waved. Sam couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

* * *

Sam should have been surprised that night, as he slowly realized that the bed didn't feel empty behind him anymore. He should have been surprised when he turned over and found Jessica beside him, propped on one elbow.

But it happened too often now to surprise him.

"I'm dreaming again," he groaned.

The dream smiled at him gently. "Yes. You are."

Without lifting his head from the pillow Sam let out a breath and absently reached up to push a lock of hair from her face. "Sometimes I really hate my vivid subconscious."

She let her arm drop from under her head and came down to his level to look him in the eyes. "I said you were dreaming. I didn't say I was your imagination."

Sam frowned. He dreamed about her often, but she'd never said anything like that before. "What?"

His other arm was still stuffed under the pillows, but the hand he'd used a moment ago lay between them, and she took it. "Sam, I here this time," she said quietly. "We're in your head, but I'm here."

He stared at her for a moment, frozen, but when nothing in her face indicated she was joking he sat up quickly, wrenching his hand from hers in the process. "W-what?" he repeated.

"Easy! It's okay," she said quickly, calmingly, shifting closer to take his shoulders. "It's okay."

Sam's hands came up involuntarily to grip her arms. "But...why?" was all he could manage.

Jessica smiled again. "There was more for you to learn."

"I don't understand..."

She let her hands fall from his shoulders, sliding them down to take his that had been holding her arms. "Sam...just like Dean had to learn first that there was still a purpose and a joy in life even without you, or without an apocalypse to stop, you never would have really known how much you were willing to do for your brother if I'd been with you from the start. Maybe Dean wouldn't have known it, either. Now you do."

Sam felt his hands tightening around hers. "What do you mean?"

Jessica leaned in to kiss his forehead. "You've learned this lesson, Sam. It's over."

"Over...?"

He didn't get an answer right away; her lips trailed down to his, and for a moment both of them were too occupied to speak. He pulled in a sharp breath when contact was broken; he wanted it back. God, it had been so long...there hadn't been a physical body in heaven to want it.

"Jess?" he asked again.

She pushed his hair back from his face and smiled softly. "I know you're not really lonely down here...but you won't have to miss me anymore."

Sam swallowed. "Wait, you...?"

To silence him she kissed him again, but the end of the kiss never came.

He woke up instead.

For a moment he had to let his eyes adjust to the darkness, and on his back he did it staring at the ceiling, wondering if it had all been just another dream. Tears invaded his eyes before he could ward them off; the dreams hadn't hurt this much in months. He really had been fine, but now...

"You going to stare at that ceiling all night? Because I can think of a few things that are _much_ more entertaining."

Sam didn't have to turn over this time to look quickly to his left to search for the voice, and it wasn't until then that he realized that the bed still felt weighed down.

But he was awake this time, right?

"Jessica..." he breathed.

"Morning, sleepyhead," she smiled.

The first dim rays of sunlight were indeed seeping in between the blinds, but Sam barely noticed. He turned on his side to face her, but couldn't bring himself to move any farther than that. He swallowed hard and tried to say something, but instead of drying the tears had formed a lump in his throat and he choked on them.

"I-I..." _I still don't understand._ He'd heard what she said, in the dream, but...

Jessica inched closer and stroked his hair absently. "You were right about on thing—you coming back was for Dean. _This_ is for you."

Sam had to swallow again, convulsively, to be able to get anything else out. "But I don't deserve anything else," he answered in a pained whisper. _I was the one who screwed everything up the first time. I trusted Ruby more than I trusted my own brother. I was drinking demon blood! Being able to make it right was all I deserved, and that's been done._

"Don't think that! You made a _mistake_. Everyone makes them."

He snorted derisively. "Most people's mistakes don't come close to dooming the _world_."

Jessica's arms slid around his waist as she pulled herself against him. The real, human sensation was so familiar and yet so long missed that Sam couldn't hold the tears anymore. They trailed his face silently as she kissed his cheek.

"Everyone else has forgiven you, Sam. You just have to forgive yourself."

He finally returned her embrace and sobbed once, trembling when he tried to hold back the ones that wanted to follow the first. "You're really here? You're staying?"

"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered.

Jessica gently pulled his head down to her shoulder, and the sobs building in his chest wouldn't be denied anymore. Sam held her tightly and cried, and he would never know if it were only her return, or a lifetime of lost innocence and hurt that he cried for.

But she was there. Jessica was with him, and he didn't know how he was going to explain it to Dean and Lisa and Ben and Bobby or how things were going to work out, but she was here. The thing he'd lost that had started everything again had been returned, and as long as she was here Sam knew that everything would be all right somehow.


	16. Chapter 16

Well the story was pretty much done, but here's a nice cap to finish it off, now that I finally had time! I'm still planning on writing that third installment in that series sometime, and how soon depends on interest, I suppose. the title would be "Time's Full Circle" if anyone wants to give their two cents on that...lol. Anyway, here you go! I hope you enjoy it, and please do review! Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed this story and it's predecessor in the past. Thanks!

Chapter 16

When Sam hadn't shown himself by noon the next day, Dean had had enough. The plan had been to jump on the net, find something to do, and squeeze in a hunt before school started in a couple of weeks. Maybe fifth grade wasn't a major stepping stone, but Dean didn't plan on missing Ben's first day again this year.

"Hey, Sam! Get your lazy ass out of—" He opened the door and stopped, completely caught off guard by the sight of a feminine figure ducking under the covers, and Sam sitting up and staring at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

Dean's eyebrows went up, and a smirk quickly took the place of the surprise and the annoyance that had come before it. Strange though. He'd known there were single moms at the party, but Sam hadn't seemed interested.

Oh well.

"Oh excuse me. Remember to lock the door next time though, Sammy. Kid in the house, and all." With that he turned to go, but he heard his brother jump up behind him.

"Dean, wait!"

He held up a hand to wave him off. "Don't worry about it; I don't need to know."

Sam caught up and held the door closed. "I think you need to know _this_."

"What?"

His brother let out a breath and nodded toward the bed. "Well..."

Sam had to motion again before Dean would really turn around and look, but suddenly it was his turn to adopt the deer-in-headlights look when he saw who sat up to wave tentatively.

"Hey...Dean."

He blinked a few times and looked at Sam. "Please tell me that's not who I think it is."

"Why? Would there be something wrong with that?"

"It _could_ be harmful to my sanity."

His brother smirked. "Sorry."

Dean looked back at the young woman dressed only in a white nightgown, who was standing to approach them. "So...Jessica. Long time no see."

"Since the one time you saw me, anyway."

"Yeah...sorry about the whole dangerously-close-to-hitting-on-you thing. I wasn't married then."

She crossed her arms and smirked at him. "I suppose you're forgiven."

Dean smirked back weakly, still more than a little disoriented, and looked back to his brother. "I like her already." The smirk quickly fell. " Would you _please_ tell me what the hell we got another dead person walking around here for?"

"Thanks for that, Dean. We 'dead people' are really feeling the love."

"You know what I mean!"

Sam grinned. "Yeah." He looked over his brother's shoulder at Jessica, and he looked happier than Dean had ever seen him. "Apparently I didn't know about it, but this was the plan all along."

Dean glanced at her again. "To send her back too?"

Jessica sidled up to Sam and slipped am arm around him. "Indeed it was. Sam here just had another lesson or two of his own to learn first." She kissed him, and Dean smirked when it turned into a production.

"God you two; get a room."

Sam extracted himself just enough to raise an eyebrow and glance at his brother. "We _have_ a room; you're the one who barged in."

"Yeah, there's that," Dean chuckled, shaking his head in bewilderment. "I guess we can worry about introductions to everyone else later."

"Sounds good," Sam answered, looking back to Jessica.

Dean pulled the door open behind him and backed out. "Yeah, I'll just...go find Lisa and Bobby. You kids come out when you're done playing."

"Shut up, Dean." Sam closed the door in his face, but Dean caught a glimpse of another smile before his view was blocked. He was left in the hallway, still stunned now that he had time to think about it and feeling a bit like a whirlwind had just blown through.

Great. He wasn't worried about Bobby or Ben, but how the hell was he going to explain this to Lisa?

* * *

For much too long a moment Lisa just stared at him. "Another one?" she questioned finally.

Dean winced apologetically. "Look, I'm sorry; none of us had any idea..."

"I know, I know. It's not your fault." She crossed her arms and leaned on the kitchen counter. "It's just that I think I was finally adjusting to having _one_ previously dead person living in the house...Not that it's Sam's fault, or anything. He's great....it's just the whole idea..."

"I had a feeling you weren't quite as okay with it as you said you were."

She sighed. "It's not that I'm not _okay_ with it. It's just that a normal human being thrown into this world of yours has to stop and say 'whoa, slow down' at _some_ point, don't you think?"

He nodded slowly. "To be honest, I thought that point would have been a long time ago for you. So far you've been a lot better about all of the weird stuff than you should have had to be, and if this is a little overboard, that's okay. We can get the two of them a motel room for a while or something..."

Lisa shook her head and rubbed at her temple. "No, no I wouldn't hear of it, I just...need a minute." Dean gave it to her, standing at her elbow just in case, and she looked up she launched right back in.

"I don't see any problem with them staying in that room for now, but that's another mouth to feed, and we've got little whatever-this-is coming too," she said, glancing down. "We're a little strained right now as it is, and we've only just started in on the medical expenses."

Dean pulled her in by the waist and kept her close. "I know that, and I told you I'd get a day job if I have to. Sam and I have been talking about that anyway; we knew we'd probably have to eventually if we were going to pull our own weight around here. We can only go so far with the old credit cards scams when we're not moving around, and all..."

"Not that I ever liked the idea of you pulling those at _all_, but what would a job do to your hunting...?"

"There ways to hunt and still hold at least part-times jobs. I can't say I've never done it before, and Dad definitely had to a few times to keep the three of us fed way back when. It's not a foreign concept; just one I'm not all that fond of."

Lisa's arms went around his neck. "I don't want you to do something you'll hate."

"I'll hate doing _anything _but being here with you guys or being out hunting with Sam. That's just the way I am." He kissed her. "But I'll do it if I need to."

"Because you love me?"

"No, but what's-it's-name gets my vote," Dean smirked.

"You think you're so funny."

"I think I'm hilarious."

She kissed him again, but after a minute or two she pulled back as if she'd thought of something. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Ben's never heard anything about this Jessica, right?"

"No, I don't think so..."

She chewed a lip for a moment. "Could we maybe...not tell him yet that she was dead? I don't mean _never_ tell him, but maybe wait until he's older? I know we didn't have a choice but to tell him about your brother, because he'd already heard about him, but this is different..."

"What do you mean? You don't think he'd be all right with this too?"

"It's not that. I'm a mother. I know he seems fine with all of this weird stuff, but can't I be protective?"

Dean looked at her for a moment. "Yeah. Okay. I guess he doesn't really _need_ to know for now..."

She kissed his nose. "Thank you."

He grimaced and swiped at the offended part of his face. "Hey, could let me retain at least a _little_ of my macho dignity?"

"Sorry; won't happen again," Lisa answered gravely. She smiled in amusement and extracted herself from his arms. "I'd better go find this woman some clothes."

Dean smirked, kissed, her cheek, and let her go as he retreated to the living room to find Bobby and see if Sam and Jessica had emerged yet.

They hadn't, but Bobby was still pacing the floor of the main room. He stopped when he saw Dean. "How'd she take it?"

"She'll be fine; how are _you_ doing on this one?"

"More than a little curious, all things considered."

"Join the club."

It was then that Ben came bolting in from the back yard. "Dad, Dad, Dean!" The two terms were used interchangeably these days, but from Ben Dean answered to either. It was a work in progress, but surprisingly being called 'Dad' hadn't taken quite as long to get used to as he'd feared. He had to admit that...well, he kind of liked it, after he'd gotten over the initial strangeness.

Well he'd better like it. He really would be a father in a few months.

Oh, god.

But no time for premature panicking now. Besides, it was a good thing.

Ben skidded to a stop beside them. "You too, Uncle Bobby. Where's Sam? You guys are missing some great basketball weather out there."

"Yeah, I know, but we've kind of got a situation; actually I was about to come get you," Dean answered.

"Situation?"

"Yeah, uh...an old friend of Sam's is here, actually. He hasn't seen her in a while, and she'll probably be staying with us for a while."

Ben's eyebrows went up. "It's a _girl_friend? Cool. Are they like, dating or something?"

"I'm really not sure how you'd classify those two, but I guess that's close enough."

"Sweet. We need another chick around here anyway; just having mom kind of throws everything out of balance."

Dean blinked at him; even Ben could be...interesting, sometimes. "Uhm, yeah. Sure," he answered vaguely, exchanging an amused glance with Bobby.

Then again, maybe the kid wasn't so far from right.

They'd been all right before, but maybe this was exactly what they needed.

* * *

Bobby watched Dean watching Sam and Jessica and Lisa, and thanked God or The Powers That Be or whatever it really was, exactly, that had done all of this. Dean had been more than fine, and Sam really had been all right, and maybe that meant Jessica Moore's return was an inordinate amount of icing on the cake, but that didn't mean it was unappreciated.

Sam was happier than Bobby had ever thought he would see him, and it was certainly welcome. Jessica—wearing an extra pair of Lisa's jeans and a shirt fresh from the dryer—was at the kitchen counter chatting up a get-to-know session with the woman of the house while Sam sat on another stool at her elbow. He hadn't been more than foot or so from her since the two of them had emerged from the room that was now, apparently, theirs.

But that Bobby could understand, and Dean seemed to get it too despite the good amount of smirking he was doing.

"Lisa and Jessica seem to have hit it off," Bobby commented finally. He and Dean were in the living room, staying out of the way for now, and Dean finally turned back to the television program he'd supposedly been watching for the last half hour.

More than likely he'd barely seen five minutes of it.

"What? Oh, yeah—looks that way. What do _you_ think?"

Bobby shrugged. "Well I don't know much about her yet, but I like what I've seen. My opinion's not important, anyway; I know Sam, and I know he'd have never been with her in the first place if she wasn't a decent girl."

Dean smiled sadly. "He never would talk about her much before, but from what I did here I get the feeling she's pretty great. That's good...I want him to have that."

"Well aren't you just turning into an old softie."

"Shut up, Bobby."

* * *

Seven Months Later

Jessica was dozing lightly on Sam's shoulder and Ben was out on Bobby's when Dean returned to the waiting room for the first time in several hours, and Sam tapped his wife's shoulder until she was awake enough to let him stand.

"Dean?" he asked eagerly.

Bobby looked up, then glanced at the sleeping boy. "Should I wake this one up?

Dean looked a little dazed. "What? No...not there yet."

"Then what is it? You should be back there with Lisa."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I just..." He bent over his knees, going quickly from motionless to hyperventilation.

Sam caught a shoulder and pulled him up straight again, and Jessica rubbed the sleep from her eyes and jumped to help.

"Dean! What the hell—"

"Exactly!" his brother complained.

"What?"

"What the hell! What the hell am I doing? Taking over for Ben is one thing; he's already half grown! How the hell am I supposed to _raise_ a kid? I was never meant to have my _own_! This is crazy! And it's a _girl_ for god's sakes!"

Sam let out a breath, exchanged a glance with Jessica and nodded toward the chairs lining the wall. She helped him haul his brother over to one. "Dean, calm down. You are going to be _fine_; you can do this," he said as they went.

Dean dropped heavy into the chair. "Oh really?"

Sam took a seat beside his brother and shrugged. "Dean, I do okay, but I've _never_ had your way with kids. You don't even have to try; they just love you."

"Are you kidding? I scare most of them away."

"That's what you'd like to think," he smirked.

"But—"

Jessica put a hand on his arms and squeezed gently. "Listen to him, Dean. Maybe I haven't been here long by comparison, but I saw a lot from up there. I have to go with Sam on this one. I think you're worrying about nothing."

"Look at all the good you've done Ben over the last couple of years. This kids loves you a lot," Bobby added. "And it's not because you hunt monsters and bought him a BB-gun."

A nurse emerged from the hallway, and Dean looked up anxiously; he seemed to recognize her. Sure enough, she bustled over when she spotted him. "Sir, your wife sent me after you. She'll be ready to push soon."

Dean glanced back at his brother, but the panic had receded to a silent freak-out.

"Get going," Bobby ordered.

Dean smirked weakly at the familiar tone and stood, and Sam stood with him and all but pushed him after the nurse. "We'll be right here, Dean."

He took a deep breath and nodded, finally giving them a real smile. "Right. Thanks." Then he was gone again, and Sam just shook his head and sat down.

"Will he be okay?" Jessica asked.

"By the time he comes back out you'll never know that happened. He'll probably deny it later, anyway."

She smirked. "Though I have a feeling that won't stop him from throwing a few of those lines back if _you_ freak out on us—big brother that he is."

Sam glanced back at her in confusion. "What would I have to freak out about?"

"Maybe nothing; you have eight months to plan strategies for _not_ losing it," she answered casually, entwining an arm with one of his.

He stared at her. "Excuse me?"

Jessica kissed his cheek. "Our turn," she answered, reaching up smilingly to finger her free hand through his hair.

Sam swallowed. "Wait...seriously?"

"I have never been more serious in my life," she confirmed quietly.

Damnit...there went his eyes, blurring with tears when he didn't want them to. Again. Why had he never been very good at controlling that?

Then Sam was kissing her, and Jessica was kissing him, and the all but empty waiting room was gone, and there was nothing but the two of them.

Or...the three of them.

* * *

Sam looked a little distracted when Dean went out to the waiting room again, but he was too distracted himself to worry asking about it now. It seemed like the good kind of distraction anyway—something he was all too familiar with at the moment.

Bobby jarred Ben awake, and once everyone was looking at him Dean grinned.

"Well?" Sam prompted.

"It's a girl. Her name's Mary Grace."


End file.
